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I have a staff member in my office who is digging in on the "culture war" over holidays.

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I have a staff member in my office who is digging in on the "culture war" over holidays. She celebrates Christmas, and therefore insists on wishing everyone "Merry Christmas!!!" Even though we are a diverse team and several team members celebrate something else, which she knows, she makes a production about her "Merry Christmas" at the end of every meeting, starting after Thanksgiving. Several of those staff have indicated that they perceive it as exclusionary and unwelcome. Should this be addressed? If so, how?

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  1. Anonymous

    Just respond with "Happy Holidays".

    Is she a manager? An individual contributor? What is her role?

  2. Anonymous

    Individual in an administrative role.

  3. Anonymous

    Does she report to you? If not, I would just respond with 'Happy Holidays' but if she does report to you, then take her aside, remind her you have a very diverse team and want to make sure that the environment is inclusive and welcoming for all and many people do not celebrate Christmas but rather a holiday specific to their religion (or none at all) and that replacing 'Merry Christmas' with 'Happy Holidays' goes a long way in fostering that inclusiveness.

  4. Anonymous

    I totally agree. If this person isn't your direct report, this isn't your issue to solve.

  5. Anonymous

    Seriously? Is it being done in malice? Or is she genuinely excited and sharing in her excitement? You could easily reply with "Happy Holidays Everyone".

  6. Anonymous

    Why? Can't we say Merry Christmas if that is what we believe? Do you say Happy New Year, Happy Thanksgiving? Happy Easter? I am not trying to be mean, I am a Christmas girl and I love it. I also have a Jewish boss who celebrates Hanukkah, should I be offended by that?

  7. Anonymous

    Just say 'Happy Holidays' - is it really that difficult?

  8. Anonymous

    I think the point here is that this person is doing it constantly when she knows there are others who celebrate other holidays. Saying it once or twice, okay no problem but after every single meeting for a month? There does come a point where it becomes the stick to hit other people with rather than a well-wishing.

  9. Anonymous

    Idk - do you make a point to go into his office and wish him Merry Christmas every day for over amonth? Do you wish everyone on your zoom calls Merry Christmas every meeting, even though you know that some are Jewish? No? Why not? Because you have some level of EQ, and to do that would be rude. It’s great that you are a Christmas girl! My bestie is the same, and I love being around her this time of year. However, not once have I heard her say Merry Christmas to someone wearing a head scarf, or to someone she knows is of a religion other than Christianity. Instead, she switches over to Happy Holidays, or wishes them a peaceful season. She may hit the wrong person every once in a while, but she is sincere about wanting the other person to be joyful. See the difference? One is cheery and respectful, the other is entitled and an off-putting jerk. I’m taking what OP wrote as the subject of her question is the entitled version.

  10. Anonymous

    Because those that are so very adamant about saying "Merry Christmas" also get pissy when they don't get a "Merry Christmas" in return. So they get even more bent out of shape about it. They are doing it to prove their point that they think they are right and everyone else is wrong and must bend to their whim.

  11. Paulla Fetzek, MSEd

    This is definitely becoming more of a topic for certain. I can see both sides to be honest:

    1. As she celebrates Christmas, she's simply sharing her holiday greetings. Anyone who doesn't celebrate could respond with their own holiday greeting.
    2. She could say Happy Holidays - which takes into account whatever holiday people are celebrating at this time.

    I say Happy Holidays nowadays, unless I know the person celebrates Christmas in which case I'll say Merry Christmas. I don't get offended if someone says Happy Holidays to me, I appreciate the goodness from which the comment generates.

    I believe most people over the age of 16 know Christmas isn't the only holiday celebrated during this time of year. For someone to only say "Merry Christmas" - it could come across as selfish and uncaring. On the other hand, if Christmas is the holiday you celebrate, you should have a right to say so.

  12. Anonymous

    Yes, but you have not addressed the every meeting part, when she knows exactly who is on/in the meeting.

    Not one person has said she can’t say Merry Christmas, but a significant number have said that she is creating an environment that is not inclusive to those different than her, because she does it every meeting, and in a way where people are questioning her sincerity vs. being passive-aggressive. There is a difference.

    I’m going to write it again, there are no posts saying she cannot say Merry Christmas. There are plenty saying she is creating a work environment that is not inclusive. Companies have DEI policies because they want the best talent they can find, and whatever that talent may be, they want them to stay with their organization. People not being able to be inclusive chase away talent.

  13. Anonymous

    Anyone who starts a response "Oh lord love a duck" gets my vote...........

  14. Mtrsprtautoltd@aol.com

    This is a problem because everyone is so easily offended. Why can’t you simply reply back saying “happy holidays” rather than make it an issue?

  15. Anonymous

    Seriously why is this even an issue at this point in time

  16. Anonymous

    I would say everyone’s best response when she exclaims “Merry Christmas” is to say “Happy Holidays” right back.
    There is no real “culture war” on holidays at the end of the year when overzealous christmassers are on their kick immediately after turkey day (I don’t call it Thanksgiving for several other reasons). Even if she’s very into her Christian faith, let her be unless she purposely goes to others and wishes them harm. And let everyone else feel free to celebrate their faith and holidays. Allow everyone to understand this weird thing called “Christmas Cheer” and how others may be more “bah-humbug” than “yay!” If other staff are offended, maybe ask them why or what about the exclamation offends them. Make sure they know they’re being heard, but you need to find out why they feel threatened when someone celebrates a holiday when they are also encouraged to celebrate theirs. Maybe it would be helpful to gather info from all staff as to what they celebrate at the end of the year, do an in-office pot luck lunch where everyone brings something from their special holiday and they can explain the holiday to others and the special meaning behind it for them. If we want to address the culture war that isn’t, and we want to invest in our DEI implementation, we need to work together to encourage everyone to celebrate what’s special to them. My former company’s position was that we generally had “holiday” festivities and then in person, we wished each other “Merry Christmas,” “Happy Hanukkah,” “Blessed Kwanza,” etc., when we knew who celebrated what. We have to give people resources and choices, and your Christmas queen is simply another person who loves to over-indulge in what she will certainly call “the spirit of Christmas” or whatever brings her joy. If she’s making other staff wary of her intentions, bring everyone together and simply have everyone volunteer their special holidays and help educate everyone on who celebrates what day and make it a full office event every year to make sure you find ways to celebrate who people are in the 4th quarter biz of world celebrations.

  17. Anonymous

    No if others are allowed to celebrate how they want then so should she be able to.
    Gif when did society outlaw the phrase Merry Christmas? It’s not a political statement and it’s not even a Religious sentiment. There are much bigger problems in the world. Esp at work. Let it go.

  18. Anonymous

    It's making other people uncomfortable, it's a problem.

  19. Anonymous

    It’s not outlawed. But her behavior is cringy and insincere, at best. She has co-workers that are of a different religion, knows this, but still insists on not wishing them well in a way that is meaningful to them - probably better

    to say nothing at all if you are not sincere about what you do say. I don’t think it is actionable, but I do think she’s not well thought of and likely avoided by many.

  20. Anonymous

    Wow. How bitter you sound

  21. Kryssy Santana

    Scrooge much

  22. Kryssy Santana

    Why is this posted anonymously. Might as well be out loud about your discrimination

  23. Anonymous

    If you bring your religion to the secular workplace, you’re the problem, bestie.

  24. Anonymous

    What discrimination? or do you mean the actions of the person who is deliberately doing things to make their coworkers uncomfortable? I think your definition of discrimination needs to be reviewed.

    Being inclusive, and expecting people to be respectful, of other people celebrating their holidays at this time of year is NOT discriminating against Christians.

  25. Heather (she/her)

    This should absolutely be addressed. Step one would be to have a conversation directly with that staff member in the hopes of clarifying the issue and solving the problem. If they aren't open to the conversation, then you bring HR into the situation. Things like this should be addressed and documented so that the issue can be resolved quickly, and so that if there are issues in the future you've already started documentation.

  26. Anonymous

    You want to “start documentation” on an employee who says “‘Merry Christmas” to others? What if she says “Happy Hanukkah” or “Happy Kwanzaa”? Will you advocate documenting these too? Come on. The hostility is in all of you who think this is a work crime and a hostile act. Neutralizing one culture to create this phony DEI strategy is not solving much except creating further exclusion of others. If hearing merry Christmas offends anyone’s ears and is perceived as an act of hostility I suggest you all provide a set of coloring books and crayons for those who need to feel safe from the threat. I also suggest you shield their eyes from anything that looks like Christmas trees or gifts. And certainly don’t listen to Christmas music or go to any celebrations about the birth of Jesus. Honestly we have much larger issues to tackle in lives than this.

  27. Anonymous

    Your comment is a wee bit over-reactive, don’t ya think? The post is about Merry Christmas, every meeting, every day, when she knows there is a diverse workforce. Sounds like a SNL skit in the making. She’s either oblivious, or a jerk. It’s not easy from original post to diagnose from afar, but could be safe to say the cognitive dissonance is strong in this one.

  28. Heather (she/her)

    I'm recommended that an employee who is happy to disrespect others even when staff is expressing discomfort should be closely monitored by their manager to make sure the employee in question does not create a toxic work environment for those around them. No one is saying it's a "crime" and I specifically said that they should try to talk it out directly with the employee first before going any further. Office environments are diverse places and everyone in those offices deserves to be respected. We can tackle bigger issues while also making sure that microaggressions aren't ignored.

  29. Anonymous

    What goes around comes around.

    she can celebrate her “ Christmas” while others can celebrate “Hanukkah”, “Kwanzaa” or Buddhism

    sorry to break it to you but the Christmas person has exactly the same rights to speech as a Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or Zen Buddhism.

    dont politicize merry Christmas- it’s a greeting !!
    the fact that you are so vehement about this supposed “culture war” says more about you then her. don’t waste time on this nonsense. If you confront or go to HR because someone wished “merry Christmas “ then it will bite YOU in the **
    go right ahead and see what comes of it

  30. Anonymous

    So, it's okay for someone to deliberately and continuously say things that make other people uncomfortable and create an environment where exclusion and harassment are accepted? Because it's free speech? No, just no.

    Free speech only applies if the government is trying to shut you up. Guess what, a private business is not the government and they do have the right to make sure their employees feel safe, secure and free to be themselves regardless of one person's religious views. Especially because of one person's religious views.

    People's rights to say what they want does not mean they are free from the consequences of what they say. Based on past experiences, the person using the Merry Christmas is just being a snot and they know it. They are pushing the boundaries because they feel they are morally superior and they're waiting to be called on it so they can cry victim.

  31. Anonymous

    You are right, it’s not okay. It’s interesting to read the comments from a few commenters, maybe the same one, about diversity and inclusion efforts, and how, if OP says anything, she’ll be violating some tenant of inclusion. The people that created the need for DEI get all excited when they think they can use it against the organization for the purpose of keeping things the same. Pipe dream. The reality is that for profit, publicly held companies need skilled employees tostay. Good chance that, if they’re in a larger company, Ms. in-your-face Merry Christmas, has already been noticed. And, it’s morelikely that there will be zero holiday mention allowed. Sucks to be in HR or a manager this time of year! Happy Holidays to all!

  32. Leah Petrosino

    But she didn’t go to HR. The employee in question went to HR when someone wished her a happy Diwali.

  33. Anonymous

    You are absolutely right, but I guess the question is why she feels

    like she has to use her religion as a weapon in the workplace? When she clearly knows not everyone is of that religion?

    In any case, she’s labeled herself as a jerk, and will soon be wondering to HR why people avoid her. That’s what happens when you push your religion on others.

    There’s nothing wrong with wishing people well in a way that recognizes what they perceive as a sincere way of wishing them well. Merry Christmas even meets this criteria, when it’s done with sincerity, and you don’t know more about that person, but that’s not what she’s doing. It’s akin to buying your spouse a present that is really for you. Awkward, insincere, a holiday jerk that chooses to ignore what others value, while insisting they value hers. I just defined about 38% of today’s Christians.

  34. GirlBossanova934974

    When I read the headline, I thought to myself.
    Maybe this coworker had put a flashing neon sign in front of her desk declaring the CHRISTMAS holidays. Maybe she was dressing up as an elf every other day? Maybe she had set up a 10 foot tall Nativity scene in the company parking lot? IMAGINE MY DISAPPOINTMENT when I read about a simple Merry Christmas greeting on a random day or two! "Several of the staff" seem to be the instigators of the Culture Wars. I thought diversity meant one was supposed to be open to other people's ideas and customs, right? Intolerance of a simple greeting seems to be the norm for some these days.

  35. Anonymous

    A religious greeting. Should I come up to you and say Hail our lord and savior Satan! Each day? That be cool with you? He’s my lord and savior.

  36. Leah Petrosino

    If you read it you would see that the employee in question went to HR when a woman of another faith decorated only her space for her holiday that wasn’t Christmas. That’s obnoxious.

  37. Erin Dickey

    That was in a reply to the original poster, that woman was explaining something in her own office... The original post had nothing about the woman going to HR, nor decorating anything.

  38. Anonymous

    Absolutely needs to be addressed immediately, assuming you are her manager, exactly how you stated it here. She is being rude and exclusionary and making the rest of her fellow team members uncomfortable. I don't know what your companies view of DEI is, but I know at mine this would be treated as a serious issue since she appears to be creating a discriminatory and harassing workplace.

  39. Loli Delaney

    I had a colleague like this at an old job. I'm Hindu and although I celebrate the Santa and Elf on the shelf's version of Christmas, I don't go to mass/church. Anyhow, my colleague was obnoxious about her greetings and even decorated her desk and put wreaths on the office doors.

    It was annoying and very in our faces. The following year, Diwali landed before Remembrance Day (in Canada so before American Thanksgiving too). I put up colourful lights and decorated my space only. I would wish her a happy Diwali but she never greeted me back. She instead went to HR and complained.

    Our company in turn, decided to decorate and celebrate all religious holidays - even Elf on the Shelf.

    Anyway, I think it should be addressed by creating a conversation circle around the issue. Good luck!

  40. Anonymous

    She's lucky it didn't go the other way and your company banned decorating for all holidays, which I feel like most companies would do. Her complaint could have seriously backfired on her.

  41. Anonymous

    Had this happen years ago at my company. A coworker was having her 50th and a group of us decorated her desk in the slightly snarky 50th birthday stuff you can find, she'd have been the first one picking those decorations out. Someone completely unrelated complained that it was disrespectful and whatnot so they company caboshed decorating desks for any reason.

    We only found out later the person that complained was jealous because it was their 50th birthday that day as well and no one knew.

  42. Anonymous

    It should be addressed by HR, not you, but I would also consider just not giving it air. She wants the attention. She wants someone to fight her on. I would consider just replying with Happy Holidays or just nothing when she does it.

  43. Christi Lopez

    It's unfortunate that she is making others uncomfortable. I would recommend sitting down with those who are uncomfortable and asking what action they would like taken. Are they comfortable with discussing this with her?

    Personally, I wouldn't want any action taken because that could just make the situation worse. But I would expect to be allowed to be just as vocal about my holidays. As a non-Christian, I have no problem with others wishing me a Merry Christmas because that's what they celebrate. Just like they should have no problems with me responding with, "Blessed Yule!"

    I tend to treat others in kind. If they don't discuss their religious beliefs, then I don't discuss mine. If they're vocal about their beliefs, then I take that as them being open to hearing about mine. Because you can't be OK with one religion in the workplace and not be open to ALL of them.

  44. Anonymous

    They are choosing to be uncomfortable, you can't make someone feel a certain way.

  45. Anonymous

    Do you know the employees personally the OP is referring who are uncomfortable and why they are uncomfortable? I think you need to reevaluate your assumptions.

  46. Joan Holliday

    Nonsense.

  47. Penny Guthrie Beasley

    People- get over yourselves! Merry Christmas is a simple greeting this time of year. I don’t get offended when someone says Happy Hanukkah or Happy Kwanza or any other holiday I may not celebrate. I say it back to them and go on. When did our society get so offended over simple little things? These people would never have survived growing up when I did. Life’s not fair- you’re not going to agree with everything or everybody. Move on and let it go. Cancer is important - a happy greeting is not worth getting your panties in a wad!

  48. Anonymous

    I would agree with you except it feels like in OP's situation it's more like a micro-aggression. Maybe if it were on a "by situation," but it seems like in OP's situation, it's constant ("at the end of every meeting, starting after Thanksgiving").

    When people have come forward and explicitly stated that they "perceive it as exclusionary and unwelcome," it is not up to anyone else to tell them how to feel or how they are "allowed" to feel.

  49. Anonymous

    Exactly! All these overly-sensitive whiners on such a simple issue - reading hostility into a greeting is just absurd.

  50. Dale Rosenberg

    Just as a counterpoint to all the #notanissue comments, I think it's bizarre to end every meeting for a month by wishing everyone joy in a holiday that you know many of them don't celebrate. Even if it were a secular non-religious holiday that presumably was shared by all, it would not be appropriate. Can you imagine someone wishing a "Happy Fourth of July!" to everyone at the end of a meeting, starting in early June? If she were saying "Happy New Year" starting the second week in December wouldn't that be kind of odd? The cultural assumption that everyone celebrates Christmas and is celebrating it for the whole of the month of December is not in my opinion appropriate in a workplace unless the workplace has a Christian focus/mission.

    For those of us who don't celebrate Christmas, the assumption that everyone does is pervasive in American society and does often make us feel unseen at best and disrespected at worst. It often gets aggressive, too, with people asking in a group "What is everyone doing for Christmas?" or feigning shock that we are "denying" our children Christmas or claiming that it's just a winter holiday and lots of people celebrate it without a religious motive, so we should too.

    The satirical JewWhoHasItAll page on X (formerly twitter) or Facebook takes the Christian hegemony of the US and projects it onto a fantasy country (Medinat America) where Christians are in the minority and Jewish holidays are the "regular" ones to show what it feels like. It's funny and sometimes feels so over the top, but everything on it has happened (in reverse) to me or people I know. They sometimes publish the original event they are parodying.

    If I were in your workplace, I would answer her as I do in general. I put a smile on my face and say, "I don't celebrate Christmas, but I'm assuming you do and I hope you have a great holiday." If she kept wishing everyone - as the OP indicated - a Merry Christmas after that, I would think it's deliberately hostile. Even more so if I'm told that I'm a Grinch or a Scrooge or "ruining Christmas" by not just responding in kind. Unfortunately, for some Christmas cheer is so fragile that even recognizing that it's not universally celebrated is a threat...

  51. Lori Laurito Betz

    I’m a (very lapsed) Catholic who does celebrate Christmas and I love your reply! I’m going to check out that page too.

  52. Leah Petrosino

    I’ve definitely seen people get weird about making sure they say “Merry Christmas”, not as a well wish but as a micro aggression. I’ve said “happy holidays” to people who throw it back in my face with something like “you mean Merry Christmas?” It’s absolutely ridiculous. It’s aggravating and annoying and goes way beyond just having the freedom to say “Merry Christmas”.

    If she was truly trying to spread joy instead of being antagonistic then there shouldn’t be an issue. If it’s what I described above (and since she went to HR over another employee’s non-Christian holiday greeting it sounds like it was) it has no business in the workplace and should be addressed.

  53. Anonymous

    Yes it needs to be addressed. She isn't trying to spread holiday cheer and she's making other people uncomfortable. Speal to HR and or legal though as she may claim freedome of relision or speech - she won't have a case but it's a time and resource suck.

  54. Anonymous

    She should be reported. People like this are insensitive but they will turn around and say "I'm spreading happiness ".

    Definitely say something

  55. Anonymous

    Oh please! Get over yourself.

  56. Rebecca Milliken

    If it's someone in an office setting like this that I see daily, I would be the a-hole that wishes her happy whatever holiday it is that day, not matter what religion or culture. I'm an athiest and Christmas has no religious significance to me, although I do celebrate it as a holiday with family etc. and enjoy it. I don't care if someone says Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays to me.

    But she is weaponizing the wishing of a holiday, and that's the difference. For those who think it's no big deal, it is if you are the one who is being singled out.

    So for her, on Father's Day she'd get a "Happy Father's Day!" from me and on President's Day, Purim, Eid, whatever is going on. Maybe she'd get the message.

  57. Anonymous

    I would also have everybody wish her a Happy Birthday on their birthday and not wish her Happy Birthday on hers.

  58. Anonymous

    We live in a time of absurd over-sensitivity. I agree with all those who say leave it alone. “Weaponizing” a holiday? Ridiculous! I feel left out on certain life events and happy mother’s or father’s day just reminds me that mine are both gone. As you say, Christmas is secular to some, religious to others.

  59. Rebecca Milliken

    But she IS weaponizing the wishing of Christmas when she's making a point out of saying it repeatedly. She IS singling out people who don't celebrate it. You may think it's ridiculous but you aren't the one she's aiming at.

  60. Anonymous

    Christmas is a national holiday and is celebrated by most Americans. Who appointed you to the Orwellian thought and word police?

  61. Anonymous

    Stop, please - you do not understand the meaning of Orwellian.

  62. Anonymous

    I agree with the it’s only a short time part, but not that she is a well-wisher.

  63. Anonymous

    To quote Frozen, let it go. She probably does it as a strong belief in her own values. She means no harm. If you talk to her about it she probably won’t understand. She is speaking as an individual not for the company. Let thé individuals who are offended deal with it themselves. There is nothing stopping them from wishing her a heartfelt, Happy Chanukah ..Kwanza..Diwali… or Seasons Greetings in return.

    There is no reason to start a battle around good intentions. There are few of those in this world

  64. Anonymous

    Oh I disagree. She sounds like she is begging someone to catch her at it. It is ON PURPOSE. It makes me furious when I say happy Holidays and someone looks at me pointedly and says Merry Christmas. Talk about passive aggressive. Perhaps people should respond with Happy Hanukah and May your year be filled with light, love, and laughter this Diwali, and blessed Solstice and even 'io Saturnalia' (pronounced eeyo sa-tur-nal-ee-uh and roughly translating as 'hurrah for Saturnalia'). Perhaps even: " May the airing of grievances be short, the feats of strength be friendly, and the miracles be many. Happy Festivus for the rest of us. " Every time. See what happens.

  65. Anonymous

    I said “Happy Holidays!” to a check out person at homegoods yesterday, and got the terse “Merry Christmas!” in return - there was nothing merry about it.
    I couldn’t contain my laugh. She got decidedly less merry. The Merry Christmas police are out there in full force, just in case anyone forgot it’s Christmas. Like they could…

  66. Joan Holliday

    I'm not at all sure she means no harm.

  67. Rachel

    I've never celebrated Christmas in my life (or any holiday for that matter). Honestly, I don't care what other people say. I can't control them, nor do I want to. I just say, "Have a good one," or "Enjoy", or something like that. You can't change other people - you can only control what you do!

  68. Anonymous

    Ignore her.
    It's your only real chance of her stopping. Any bait, such as reporting the HR, will convince her the Christmas wars are real.

  69. Anonymous

    The only thing I would care about in this context is whether her coworkers are comfortable (and safe) working with her. Her own paranoid beliefs are not my problem - but she's turned them into A problem. Those who suggested she's probably causing other problems for her coworkers who are not white and/or not Christian are more likely on the right track. This just isn't appropriate in a professional, secular environment. She would be less triggered if she worked somewhere where everyone else looks and believes like her. If she can't handle her current workplace, she needs to move on.

  70. Anonymous

    I would say "and Happy Hanukkah and Happy Kwanzaa!" after she says Merry Christmas, then roll my eyes.

  71. maria rose

    First of all, the way this topic was presented by the anonymous OP is completely biased and non-equitable in acceptance of a different towards a certain holiday. In today’s ESP context, one should accept all differences in others as we expect the same acceptance from them. Many of us have multiple interpretations of this time of year where there’s pressure for achievement and end of business year results and the last thing not needed is to get upset by a fellow coworker’s greeting because you, personally, find those words offensive and you want to make them stop, period. If you can make yourself go ahead to discuss this topic with HR, you are going to have to prove how much the words affecting your job performance—I.e. mental stress to the point of needing medication, or a physical illness caused by the stress of hearing the words expressed. —what is missing here is how this specific coworker interacts during the non holiday season by stating any other triggering words. Because if the way this person expresses themselves in greeting others is so offensively triggering, it would have been noticed and dealt with. What I see here is an attempt to make someone’s joy a problem because it bothers you, the OP. And you need to be the center of everyone’s attention. Go have that discussion with HR if it makes you feel better but remember that you will have to provide proof of your discomfort beyond the fact that you don’t want to hear the words spoken by this coworker.

  72. Anonymous

    To me, OP’s anonymous post, which is perfectly fine btw, is about someone who appears to be purposely foisting her religious beliefs on others in the office.
    Working with other people requires some level of respecting differences - that is the reality of work today. Sharing your joy would be about bringing joy to the person(s) you are addressing, would it not? So, “a happy holidays, all” would be a bit more inclusive (joy-inducing) to everyone. I was raised Christian, and I would be embarrassed for her.

    I don’t think anyone should go to HR, just avoid the provider of Christmas joy.

  73. Erin Dickey

    Honestly I have to say I am so tired of hearing people complain about this offended me, that offended me. If something bothers me, that's on me and I either ignore it or deal with it, I am the one bothered by it. Why does everyone have to CHANGE something because others are offended. Words are words and unless you let them bother you they are powerless. This world is really becoming full of snowflakes. I do not intentionally go out of my way to hurt anyone, but I do celebrate Christmas and I usually say Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays, but if we are suppose to acknowledge others who do not celebrate, then shouldn't they also acknowledge others do? Why cant we all then say I am offended Merry Christmas isn't accepted anymore? People cant have it both ways, if you don't celebrate, that's totally fine just smile or don't even but if you get that upset about it honestly I think that is your hang-up, not mine. If someone says Happy Hanukah to me, I just say Thank you.

    ***BTW there seems to be confusion, one poster wrote about a situation at her office and people are mis-reading that as the original post. The original poster- HR was not involved in any way, some people keep saying "yes but she did go to HR" <- that is another post and was a reply to the original poster letting her know a situation at her office.

    I wish everyone a wonderful Holiday whatever that means to YOU :)

  74. Anonymous

    Same to you! It means Merry Christmas to me!

  75. Anonymous

    That was easy!

  76. misskelleyp

    I mostly agree with you, however the OP said that this woman was saying Merry Christmas at the end of EVERY meeting every day since Thanksgiving. She is the one trying start something.

  77. Anonymous

    Well you could ignore it, or at the end of meetings when she says merry Christmas you or your employees can add happy Hanukkah, happy Lanza etc whatever they celebrate that way they also are recognized, if it means something to everyone I usually say happy holidays as I have friends of different faiths and honestly in my opinion it doesn’t leave anyone out but I know the merry Christmas war is ongoing don’t let it bother you or ruin your holidays or the other employees people like her care more about making some imaginary point to feel better they dont really care about wishing anyone well

  78. Anonymous

    This is a situation you cannot win.

    “Yes - Happy Holidays, Everyone!” is a good call out to the group.

    The first rule of gift giving, which I would extend to holiday wishes, is to make it meaningful to the recipient. If she was at all interested in her co-workers, she’d be acting accordingly. Instead, she sees the season as self-affirming. She’s either extremely self-adsorbed, or someone who has bought into the dog whistle of “they’re taking away Christmas!” No, no one wants to take away Christmas, but everyone wants to feel respected. There is a big difference. If she was new, and didn’t know anyone, I’d consider her a well-wisher and take her at face value in keeping with the “always assume good intentions” rule. But, she does know., so…

    To call her out would likely reinforce her beliefs, and she has enough problems. Plus, there’s likely no one in the office that doesn’t know about her, and it’s also likely many avoid her. We all work with those people who require us to paste on a smile while thinking please let this be a short interaction.

  79. Anonymous

    I live in a country where Christmas is truly secular. There is no such phrase as “Happy Holidays” it is Christmas, and no one is offended. There are Muslim people in commercials celebrating the day with Christians. No one is offended, everyone is included in the fun, whether this is an actual religious time for you or not. Imagine if the US took this view was well? If someone said to me Merry Christmas or Happy Hanukkah or Eid Mubarak, I’d say thank you and wish them a great time too. Why do we have to be looking for a fight all the time?

  80. Anonymous

    I love this! Unfortunately, the idea of people trying cancel Christmas has become a trigger for certain Christian folks in the USA. Maybe if the country lasts long enough to mature, they can get there, too!

  81. Anonymous

    Yes, and privately. Let her know that while her joy for the holidays is appreciated others have quietly let you know that they feel the specificity around her holiday greeting is not allowing them to feel included. Recommend to her to use Happy Holidays instead and that way it includes those who celebrate Chanukah and Kwanzaa as well.

  82. Anonymous

    On some level I agree with this, but the person in question appears to have a low EQ, which means you need to tread very carefully. For me, it would be a chat with HR to see if something needs to be mentioned. The world has changed a lot over the past decade, and some folks are very dug in to their perspective.

  83. Debra Ogston

    My guess is those employees celebrating Hanukkah, Kwanza or Zen Buddhist are not ending every meeting with a "Happy Hanukkah or Happy Kwanza". My position is that if employees have raised it as exclusionary, I think it's certainly appropriate to ask her to tone it down - replace it with "Happy Holidays" or simply say nothing. Employee "freedom of speech" rights in the workplace is very different than outside of work where employers are more often exposed to liability where they fail to prevent an environment where individuals do not feel excluded. Also, if as the author suggests, this individual is doing this for the intent of "digging in on culture wars" and is using this as a way to make a point against a "woke culture" - she is the one who has politicized it.

  84. Anonymous

    Friendly and cheerful? When she knows that a significant number of people in the office don’t share that holiday? Sometimes an eye-roll as you walk away is what makes the day doable - made me laugh, anyway!

  85. Anonymous

    I would ask her how she's going to feel when everyone starts wishing her Happy Fathers day knowing she is not a father.. and if that upsets her she needs to re-evalate how she treats her coworkers.

  86. Heather

    With all due respect, I wouldn't consider that a fair comparison.

  87. Anonymous

    Why not? It's basically the same thing... People across the US are from different backgrounds and celebrate different holidays. In the OP's situation, the person is purposefully wishing "Merry Christmas," when there is the choice to wish "Happy Holidays." If she does not identify as a father, and she is constantly (every meeting) getting wished Happy Father's Day, I'd be willing to bet she'd be offended. It just shows a lack of learning and the unwillingness to accept others.

  88. Anonymous

    Should we assume her gender? That’s much worse.

  89. Kitty

    She has the right to freedom of speech. I would let it go.

  90. Anonymous

    She does, and everyone else has the freedom to avoid her as much as possible. Which means a communication problem in the office - that someone will eventually have to address.

  91. misskelleyp

    She actually does NOT have freedom of speech at work. FYI.

  92. Anonymous

    Your being petty and hateful. Let her say Merry Christmas. Do you have more important concerns at work? You sound childish and immature.

  93. Anonymous

    She.can.say.merry.Christmas. The problem is the over and over, with people she knows not to be of that religion. It’s bullying and rude.

  94. Anonymous

    You speak from experience. Happy Holidays!

  95. Anonymous

    Maybe the commenter was just trying to annoy them. If that’s the case, we should

    find her a Hobby Lobby, eh?

  96. Anonymous

    This particular commenter is very focused on getting her likes today.

  97. Anonymous

    I am? Absolutely not concerned about likes. I have been here a long time and say very little. I do note the cattiness of women and how they are more concerned about their popularity and political correctness than on the pride of achievement. There is far too much concern about the perception of attitudes from others and their personal persecution’s than on the act of successful working.

  98. Anonymous

    Exactly. Well said!

  99. Anonymous

    Exactly. An eye roller is hostile. It says much more about her than the person wishing all a Merry Christmas!

  100. Anonymous

    No matter who it is, its a valid reply to an absurd question.

  101. misskelleyp

    My issue with her would be that she is "weaponizing" her Merry Christmas. She's saying it on purpose to make a point. Have the other folks reply to her with Happy Hannukah, or Kwanzaa, or whatever they celebrate. For those who do not celebrate, they can either ignore her or say "yes, I hope you have a nice one".... And then I would look at her performance. If she's acting like a jerk in this instance, does she do so elsewhere? If so, start documenting. Alternatively, have a conversation with her and let her know that not everyone celebrates Christmas, and she needs to tone it down. It doesn't need to be said every day, to the same group of people.

  102. Anonymous

    It probably does show in other places.

  103. Rosemary

    Spot on.

  104. Anonymous

    Likely - seems to have also missed the point that the behavior is every day, every meeting, to people she knows to not celebrate Christmas. To me, that is absurd.

    As I’m reading through the comments, I think this girlie is commenting all
    over the place! Same attack, same tone.

  105. Anonymous

    Oh, you’re back! Happy Holidays!

  106. Anonymous

    I do, too! Your point?

  107. misskelleyp

    IF I were her manager, I would not allow her to pester her coworkers. And if she is doing so, likely she is doing so in other areas as well. And that's not ok. I love Christmas, but she's being a jerk.

  108. Anonymous

    I would absolutely dig into her performance after this. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to get talented people who will show up every day, and work well with other highly talented people? So, we’ve got all that going on, we’re busy, everyone is supporting the other, and then we have this one who is completely willing to alienate co-workers because she thinks she’s making some statement via micro-aggressions. From OP’s description, she does it on purpose. I’d have already talked with HR concerning next steps with an end goal of getting her away from my team. It really comes down to this: do I want to spend all my time rehiring for the same positions because she cannot figure out why she is here, and draw a line between that and her religion? Nope.

    Btw: Christian, regular church attendee, and smart enough to know that if I didn’t need it on my resume, there’s no room for it in the workplace.

    You need an accommodation to pray, participate in your holidays, etc., I’m your biggest advocate. You want to bully and alienate the rest of the team? Buh-bye, and don’t let the happy holidays sign hit you on the butt on your way out.

  109. Sarah Chambers

    100% this! ^^

  110. Anonymous

    Very well said why is it everyone else can say happy holidays Happy Hanukkah or whatever but when Christians say Merry Christmas they get so easily offended

  111. Anonymous

    Really, every meeting, for 4-5 weeks, even though she knows the composition of the team? I can guarantee you, if the shoe was on the other foot, you’d not be happy.

  112. Anonymous

    I think you need to set aside your bias and read the whole note. Her staff that she directs is uncomfortable with the term Merry Christmas. In essence the employee is creating a offensive work environment. As a manager you need to understand these things and be aware if your employees are expressing discomfort with the behavior and work environment she is creating. It is tearing down a team and is offensive to some. There are legal ramifications that could be in play here.

    To the original poster of the question - work with HR if you have one, if not, make sure you are documenting your conversation with her and make sure she understands she is treading on thin ice with here behavior.

  113. Anonymous

    Leave the poor soul I am not a religious person I am a spiritual person but as much as she goes on about Christmas I bet you and your other workers go on when it's there religious celebrations

  114. Anonymous

    Agreed.

  115. Anonymous

    Have you ever wondered if perhaps Christmas is her favorite holiday and she's simply extremely excited about Christmas and wants to simply share the joy?
    Personally, I wish everyone a Merry Christmas, yes I know that not everyone celebrates it and they are welcome to either a) not respond or b) wish me something else back.

    One thing I would caution is telling her not to say it or document that she says it every day, because that could cause more issues. If she is positive and polite who cares if shes telling others merry Christmas? I would ignore it if it affects you.

  116. Joan Holliday

    It doesn't sound like she's being positive or polite. She also doesn't sound like she's behaving in a way that Christ would approve of.

  117. Anonymous

    I agree with you. She may be one of the people who absolutely love the season. People look for things to be offended over.

  118. Anonymous

    Wishing people merry Christmas is not a big deal. It’s HOW this person is doing it that’s a big deal. In the workplace bringing attention to differences is not ok.

  119. Anonymous

    Sounds like someone in the office may be watching a little too much Fox News. Then again, as others suggested, she may just really like Christmas. I would probably ignore it as I do not bring politics into work (if indeed, she is trying to make a political point). You aren’t going to change her mind if she has that “persecution syndrome” drilled into her head from the media and it will just cause more trouble than it’s worth in the end. Unless someone is truly being unprofessional and belligerent about politics, I generally ignore all political discussions or comments in the office. I have no time for that. I’m there to work not argue with coworkers over their personal, political, beliefs.

  120. Amy Carissa Oliver

    Politics? I thought this was about religion. Christmas is a a Christian holiday and this employee seems to be very purposefully and forcefully saying Merry Christmas to a bunch of people at work who aren’t Christian. Although not specifically stated by the OP, it seems there’s a workplace policy to be neutral on religious matters at this time of year. Multiple religions celebrate at this time of year, not just Christians.

    It is an EEO violation to create hostility on religious grounds.

  121. Anonymous

    Religion is all political these days

  122. Anonymous

    Nonsense! Christmas is a national holiday and most Americans celebrate it. Leave us all alone as we do not need an Orwellian thought and word police.

  123. Anonymous

    Look, we get it. You read an Orwell book and you think you know what it means. But, you need to go back and re-read. Absolutely no one on this thread has a problem with a heartfelt Merry Christmas. But if you read the original post, it’s about someone who works with a diverse group, knows this, but still uses her passive aggressive season’s greeting over and over in a manner that is inappropriate in the workplace. She, in effect is shutting others down, and actually encouraging disrespect in the workplace. Half the people on this thread are laughingly suggesting wishing her something else back. It’s going to start a problem, because she’ll eventually run into a jerk with different belief, who will take her up on her challenge. Flash forward to this week, and she’ll be sitting in HR, tears in her eyes, saying “I don’t know why no one wants to work with me…”

    We’re all at work, just don’t be a jerk. It’s that simple.

  124. Anonymous

    It's rude and unchristian to make others who celebrate other holidays feel less included. She's obviously not interested in the reason for the season!

  125. Anonymous

    Maybe get the other people to reply with ‘and happy Hanukkah as well!’ Or whatever their faith. Best to be all in than all out.

  126. J Williams

    Why does it even bother you? If people have other holidays they celebrate then they should feel free to express themselves also, this is the least of your worries !

    Just be festive throughout the entire season and leave it be.

    Happy Holidays!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  127. Anonymous

    Everyone should respond back joyfully with "Happy Holidays", Happy Hanukkah" , "Enjoy your Yule Log" "Happy Kwanza!" "Happy Winter"

    Religion in the workplace is so difficult. It would be DIFFERENT if she said, "Christmas makes me so happy and joyous. I know some of you don't celebrate, and I certainly wouldn't expect you to but I hope you let me share some of my joy with you." Saying "Merry Christmas" KNOWING people might take offense, is passive aggressive. There are many non-passive aggressive ways to tell people that this is your personal holiday season and you want to share the FEELING--not the belief with people. I remember we had an Indian co-worker who brought sweets to work during Dwali. It was such a nice gesture. The woman yelling Merry Christmas is just challenging people, not really wishing them happiness. At some level it says something about her as a person.

  128. Anonymous

    Happy Holidays IS inclusion. Merry Christmas is not.

  129. Anonymous

    Wow. Hostile work environment for Merry Christmas ? Oh geez are you a gen Z or something ?

  130. Anonymous

    I am sure you think you were stating a solid point, but you are only continuing to be part of the problem, not the solution. Nothing like being overly passive-aggressive to get what you think is the right point across. Noted.

  131. Anonymous

    100% yes address it full stop.

    Why after every meeting? Way too much to unpack there, but if after every meeting it continues, it's weird, but also 100% should be addressed. Makes no sense in a professional reoccurring meeting . I'm confused why it's continued? It doesn't make sense and 99% sure it doesn't align with the meeting agenda.

    Addressing some comments:

    This is not a free speech issue, this is a professional setting

    I see a lot of comments frustrated with changing the way they think in terms of culture and traditions.

    For those trying to learn, this is a micro aggression and an example of systemic junk. No one is taking anything away from your culture and traditions.

    Here are a few things to note and learn:

    Christmas is a central holiday for Christians, religiously [as it celebrates the birth of Jesus].

    Hanukkah is a Jewish festival that is celebrated to commemorate the rededication of the Holy Temple (Second Temple) in Jerusalem. Hanukkah predates Christianity (600 years)

    Kwanzaa is cultural/spiritual based and celebrates African beliefs and heritage. People of all faiths can and do celebrate Kwanzaa. It also pre-dates Hanukkah

    All of the holidays have certain things in common, including unity, celebration and sharing.

    The major difference includes how each is celebrated and the reason.
    All three celebrations however include loved ones, joy, laughter and food.

    Do better
    Be better

  132. Anonymous

    Yes, and just because the only celebration you know is Christmas doesn’t mean that has been the only celebration Americans have known from the beginning of the country. Many other faith practices have always been here too. Just because you’re in the majority doesn’t make you right or with the authority to be rude.

    When did we lose so much perspective on, “They will know we are Christians by our love,” and respect.

  133. Anonymous

    As a former conservative Christian who believed in the ‘culture wars’ and now a progressive Christian who believed in the values of a free, *pluralistic* society, YES, she really needs to stop. She thinks she’s ’making a stand for Christ/traditional values’ when the reality is what everyone else sees - a weirdly passive-aggressive religious lady who can’t understand how no one wants *her* Jesus ?

  134. Anonymous

    The issue is that other employees have asked her to stop and she hasn’t. I personally think she’s enjoying the fact she’s annoying people and the best way to deal with her is to ignore her or respond with whatever holiday you celebrate (feel free to make one one). Btw, while Kwanzaa is based on several ancient African harvest celebrations, Kwanzaa itself was created in 1967 by a college professor.

  135. Anonymous

    I would also like to include Yule (Alban Arthan) here, a traditional festival celebrated by witches, wicca and pagans. This holiday which occurs around the same time (just before Christmas day at the winter solstice) has been celebrated

  136. Karen Mullin

    Just stop.

    The behavior of this person is very clearly not one of "sharing the holiday spirit" but is aggressively directed at trying to annoy other people she considered to be wrong. Christians don't own this time of the year.

    The proper response to this person is for every other member to respond with their own holiday greetings. Let her chew on that.

    And may The Goddess bless your Yule.

  137. sbbircher

    I agree. This whole tactic of daring people to take offense only works if the bait is taken or if other people are made uncomfortable about being different and choose to stay silent as a result. It creates a stressful environment for everyone because it is an intentionally aggressive act.

    Being confident enough to let your holiday take up just as much space as the dominant holiday and keeping it light forces the other person to be the AH and own it instead of hiding behind some culture war talking point.

    As the manager though, OP needs to address the lack of professionalism. She needs to stress the importance of accepting a wide variety of viewpoints and that the whole team has a responsibility to one another in creating an environment where everyone can speak up. The fact that this employee is being aggressive with their viewpoint is what needs to be addressed- not the content of that viewpoint. The manager here needs to stay focused on that.

  138. Kristin Burns

    Christmas isn't any more American than Hanukkah or Kwanza - these are valid holidays and just as American to celebrate.

  139. Anonymous

    People may have been offended but didn’t feel comfortable saying that.

  140. Amy Carissa Oliver

    Lots of emotional answers here without a lot of straight facts.

    If this person is creating a hostile work environment, no matter the cause, you have a duty to report to HR. HR can pull her aside and have a gentle chat.

    I am reading between the lines that staff have repeatedly asked her not to do this with them and she’s continuing anyway, which is a form of bullying.

    If that’s the case, HR needs to have more than a gentle chat because your colleague may have graduated from being annoying to committing a Civil Rights violation.

    Let me be clear: Merry Christmas is a religious expression that is protected under the first amendment. But, in the workplace, if this person has been repeatedly asked by specific individuals not to offer this salutation and she’s doing it anyway then she is knowingly and purposely creating an environment that harms them, and that’s where it gets dicey.

    This isn’t a political issue as many have told you. But it is a religious one, and while this woman’s religious freedom is protected, so is that of the rest of the staff. And particularly in a work place, when someone sets any type of boundary, if it’s violated then it’s an HR issue. They can’t set a policy that violates her right to say Merry Christmas but they can and should have a policy that if specific people have asked not receive that salutation that she has to respect it.

    I also want to impart to you that I grew up in Utah and later lived there as a working adult for over a decade. Utah is a very heavily populated Christian place. Mormons and Catholics are everywhere. And yet, that place never seemed to be so angrily attached to Merry Christmas as a salutation and even in the 80s and 90s we were saying Happy Holidays or Season’s Greetings.

    So anyone telling you this is America’s tradition clearly is voicing their own opinion on tradition and not representing the whole of the country.

  141. Anonymous

    This should be addressed as a respectful workplace issue, if you don't have such a policy you should create one. She needs to be advised that she is being exclusionary. The company is at risk, and you will have continued issues if you do not lay out policies to get everyone to recognize and respect each other. Ask her how she would feel if the situation was reversed, and she was constantly bombarded with a tradition she did not understand or celebrate? And before anyone attacks me, I do celebrate Christmas but we leave room to respect others traditions!

  142. Joan Holliday

    In this country, there is more than one religious tradition. No one is asking you not to celebrate your holiday, or to celebrate someone else's. Just to acknowledge that yours is not the only holiday happening. I am Christian, and have no problem with Happy Holidays!

  143. Anonymous

    And, no one is saying do not use merry Christmas. What we are all saying, over and over, is if you know better, do better.

  144. Leader908938

    Christmas in America is both a religious and a secular holiday. I celebrate it as secular but understand that everyone I encounter does not celebrate it at all. This is why I choose to say Happy Holidays because this time of year includes so many holidays - both religious and secular - starting with Thanksgiving and ending with New Years. I personally consider it the most inclusive of holiday greetings since I don't always know what someone celebrates. If I know someone celebrates Christmas I will wish them a Merry Christmas. But I hate when someone gets offended when I wish them Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas when I don't know them well enough to assume what they celebrate. This employee needs to understand that whether knowingly or unknowingly, they are creating an environment which makes others uncomfortable and that's never OK in the workplace.

  145. BethB

    Yes. If she wants to work in a Christian company she can go work for Hobby Lobby.

  146. JSan

    By this logic, no one can use any type of salutation ever in fear of offending someone. I'll just bet almost every person in your office observes the "Christmas" holiday in some fashion, be it enjoying the paid time off, decorating and putting up a tree, and giving gifts, which is basically what 'Christmas' means to most people these days anyway. Why would anyone be offended by being wished happiness during a holiday?

  147. Anonymous

    I agree 100% but shouldn't be done to drive a point. Less is more.

  148. Anonymous

    The world does not revolved around Christians. The OP made a point to say they work on a diverse team.

    it costs you nothing to make an effort at being a good person.

  149. Anonymous

    A person can say Merry Christmas and BE A GOOD PERSON! What is wrong with all the Orwellian control freaks? Christmas is a national holiday. Most Americans celebrate it! If you get offended when someone says it, that is your problem.

  150. Rebecca Milliken

    Ummm, is this forum not meant for people giving opinions? None of us are this person's manager--not the point.

  151. Rebecca Milliken

    Sooo missing the point.

  152. Anonymous

    No I am not missing the point. There are far more serious matters at work than this.

  153. Anonymous

    I second, Missing the point.

  154. Rebecca Milliken

    It seems a lot of people are missing the point. It's not what she's saying, its the fact that she is repeatedly saying it, way too many times, to make a point. I don't know if people are really this obtuse about this subject or are being disengenious.

    I remember years ago a coworker would come in yelling GOOD MORNING in a really overly cheery voice to everyone who was at their desks trying to work. Or a guy who used to come in later than me when I worked in retail sales who used to interrupt me with a customer, "Hey Rebecca--hey Rebecca! Just wanted to say hi!" It wasn't what they were saying that was irritating. It was what they were doing and why.

    I'd probably get myself in trouble with this Merry Christmas lady because I'd say something like, "Yes, thank you. I heard you the other ten million times you said it. We all get it now."

    It's interesting how sensitive people are about OTHER people being sensitive. "Oh everyone gets offended these days! But it's MERRY CHRISTMAS, not Happy Holidays, you heathen!"

  155. Sarah Chambers

    Critical thinking and EIQ is completely lost on some me thinks.
    Change and evolving with that is not in their repertoire. And you last line is the drop the mic "for the heathens"

  156. Anonymous

    How is it too many times? Is there a matrix that determines this?

    How do you know that she isn't falling apart inside? And her being cheery isn't the only thing that's stopping her from crumbling down.

  157. Anonymous

    I’d say too many is when it becomes the most notable part of the meeting, because she is saying it over and over to the same group, and she knows the make up of the group. Yup - that would probably be part of your matrix.

  158. EMILY KIKUE FRANK

    She's being very insensitive. She needs to be taught that hers aren't the only beliefs that matter and she's making people uncomfortable. I don't think anyone minds a well-intentioned "merry Christmas" here or there, but the aggression of it being so intentionally repeated is an issue. If the people she's making feel excluded aren't comfortable telling her that, her manager needs to.

  159. Anonymous

    No she isn’t! I am so sick of all this nonsense and trying to control what people say. Christmas is a national holiday. Get it? That is because MOST Americans do celebrate it!

  160. Anonymous

    If people are uncomfortable they should reply with happy holidays. She will get the message . Wishing Merry Christmas is not offensive unless done deliberately.

  161. Anonymous

    OP's point is that it is being done deliberately...enough that others are feeling uncomfortable. Maybe the Christmas-wisher isn't aware others are uncomfortable. That could be pointed out. However, it's possible this person will have a bad reaction to that, especially if they believe *everyone* at the office should celebrate Christmas.

  162. Anonymous

    Yeah, this feels like she's being a bit passive-aggressive and insincere with this greeting and is pushing her agenda with "Merry Christmas" vs. "Happy holidays." It's a shame it's even an issue, though.

    I remember working on the internal comms team of a huge retailer, and with a diverse international team, we recognized all holidays. But when we sent employee-focused Christmas greetings, we were careful to always say "Happy Holidays." However, we still received messages from angry employees who were offended because we didn't say "Merry Christmas!"

    You're damned if you do and damned if you don't! Everyone gets offended these days!! #Eggshells

  163. Anonymous

    You're the team leader? Say something after she says that, like "And happy New Year, Happy Hannukah, and Happy Solstice to all"

  164. Stephanie Hill Alexander

    Yes. This. When she says "Merry Christmas" others need to look her dead in the eye and say "Happy Kwanza" or "Merry Festivus!" She'll get the hint. Or maybe it will spark a conversation. :-)

  165. Anonymous

    Sounds like HR needs to do more “be a good human” training.

  166. Anonymous

    stop trying to be the victim here, it’s silly

  167. Freda Lee

    Just say Happy Holidays to you too! Hopefully, she will take the hint. If not, I am sure it is not intended to be exclusionary.

  168. Anonymous

    Some of the catty people on here have accused me of posting for likes and making multiple comments I made one. That is all. I have other things to do. Take a look at yourselves and all your correctness. It is this behavior that stops your success at work and why people resort to forums to air their mean girl words. Live your own lives and stop worrying about what others do and reporting people for common human behaviors. Fix yourselves. And again - I made one post. Any other anonymous posts are not mine but are the opinions of others who do not wish to identify themselves because of the onslaught of online bullying you comolain happens in your workplaces.

  169. Anonymous

    Are you okay? There are a couple of hundred posts here, many by people who didn’t fully read the post.

  170. Jennifer

    If anyone is a friend to her in that office, someone should pull her to the side and quietly let her know that it is a little over the top. Too many people get butt hurt about ridiculous stuff! I'm also done with thinking "If I say Merry Christmas, is it politically correct?" So is there nobody there who is a friend to her that might do her a kindness and let her know that it's just a little over the top? If not, that's sad.

  171. William Stoskopf

    I offer my homemade tongue-twister option
    MerryHappy ChristmaHannuSolstiKwanzamas.
    I think that covers most of them.
    Dazzle them with that!

  172. Anonymous

    Why does a happy holidays offend you? If you're excited about the celebration of loved ones, joy, laughter and food. If you know the room includes many celebrations throughout December, what offends you to express joy for all. No one is cancelling Christmas. Restating it for no reason at the close of weekly meetings knowing others don't "share that sentiment" is a clear example of micro aggression. Sit with that (saying this genuinely) and think about it. With greater knowledge, and truly positive intent, why would you want to look like someone who only cares about yourself. A one time, mention with positive intent, ok, no problem, and folks can join in and include additional traditions and celebrations. A very odd decision to close a meeting every week with this. That is deliberate. Anonymous above, "Get Over it"? Thanks for showing exactly who you are.

  173. Wanda Shaw

    Unless she's going around and needling others with her greetings, she has the right to say Merry Christmas, just as much as others have the right to say or not say anything.

  174. Anonymous

    You mean something like every week in a meeting? You're missing the point. No one is trying to cancel Christmas. But imagine a world where we want to spread excitement to everyone. I realize making a change specifically with a broad group is hard. From Merry to Happy and from Christmas to Hollidays is so incredibly rude to ask and hard to accomplish. The posts here freaking out about "rights" are actually the COMPLETE opposite of spreading joy and love. But mmmkay. You do you.

  175. Anonymous

    And look! That’s exactly what she’s

    doing.

  176. Anonymous

    100%! So many cannot read the post. Only the title, which is like a dog whistle for the insecure that cannot fathom change.

  177. Anonymous

    OMG who cares, she isn't cursing people or putting HEXs on people.

    If she was arguing with people about it being Christmas and insisting on it, then that's another thing.

    Like if that's all you have got to worry about....

    Just let it go, in 2 weeks it will be over.

    Enough of policing every single thing.

    What makes it ok that the diverse team are not ok with her celebrating her special occasion?

    This is like taking exception if something brought in their own cakes to celebrate their own birthday...

    Enough!

  178. Drea Rahming

    Agreed

  179. Anonymous

    Exactly! And Christmas is, after all, a national holiday! Most Americans do celebrate it.

  180. Anonymous

    The problem though.. is she's the same person who's going to be offended when I wish her Happy Fathers Day.

  181. E C

    Reading the comments.... there's no "War on Christmas." But there does appear to be a growing insistence on a workplace that respects all faith traditions, including those who don't have one.

  182. Melissa Nobile

    She celebrates Christmas. You celebrate something else. So be it. Get over it!

  183. Heather (she/her)

    Do you not think that coworkers owe one another mutual respect and an inclusive environment?

  184. Melissa Nobile

    So telling her she can’t say Merry Christmas is inclusive?? Really??

  185. Heather (she/her)

    Literally noone is saying she can't celebrate or recognize Christmas, or say Merry Christmas to those she knows celebrate it. It's a very simple request that she not toss it into every conversation and meeting when she knows the team is diverse in their beliefs.

  186. Anne Krook

    she can celebrate all she wants, of course. But starting at Thanksgiving to end every meeting with Merry Christmas when she knows many people do not celebrate it is not polite. The OP says others are uncomfortable, and if I were her manager I would ask her to be more mindful of others' different beliefs and celebrations and the fact that in a workplace they cannot just walk away from her in a meeting, for example. Hearing it multiple times a day from Thanksgiving on would annoy me, and I celebrate Christmas.

  187. Becca T.

    Saying "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas" has become more appropriate these days. She should respect that others do not celebrate this holiday. If it is becoming an issue with the team, it should be addressed, respectfully.

  188. Karen Bates Medders

    She can say Merry Christmas, that's her holiday...One can reply with Happy Kwanza, or Happy Grinch Day, or Happy Holidays or quite frankly, Bah Humbug...let each be their own and by doing that, it kinda neutralizes her Merry Christmas by subtly reminding her that is hers and these are ours...

    And one of the reasons why I no longer participate in corporate surroundings...Political Correctness which is nothing more than snobbery and rudeness, when reality is if we all treat each individual with dignity and respect, none of the above is necessary.

    Happy New Year, Y'all!!!

  189. Anonymous

    This is one of the reasons I don’t want to be in leadership.
    As a supervisor, staff reports brought up issues with other coworkers to me that were not really issues. Many of them were addressed and I felt that my job was about putting off nonsense fires. I don’t know what is the problem, but some people are just too sensitive these days and that is destroying our spontaneity and authenticity

  190. Anonymous

    Same, but for the opposite reason. Most of the issues that were escalated to me were caused by people truly not understanding that their culture wasn’t dominant anymore. Change is hard.

  191. Anonymous

    There’s no war on Christmas, but as the workforce changes with people that have a more diverse background, there are less people that share your culture and customs. You are welcome to worship, or not, anything you like, or not.

    200 comments later, and I’m amazed at how many people do not understand this, and insist on making it about what they believe. You are at work, whatever you do at home is irrelevant, but your work now involves making sure everyone feels welcome at work.

    At this point, I’m thinking that we should just ban all of it from the workplace. Do your job, go home.

  192. Anne Krook

    One way to do it is to have everyone who celebrates something else wish her "Happy [my holiday] at the beginning and end of every meeting, every time they see her in the hallway, restroom, or other public space. If everyone does this, she will start hearing how she sounds to others. You just have to get everyone she interacts with who celebrates a non-Christian holiday to join in. Bonus if you can find a pastafarian or a Satan worshipper. You will enjoy this, trust me

  193. Anonymous

    I would enjoy this! Although, I’d have to do so while looking concerned and empathetic. I dislike people whose unprofessional behavior puts me back into hiring mode - it’s such a drain on our time and resources. There are some people who, regardless of how good they are at their job, are just not worth the trouble.

    No matter the title, you were hired to solve problems, not cause them.

  194. Anne Krook

    Yes, it's a pain in the butt and a total waste of time, But still, sometimes you have to engage to cut through the oblivious fog and wake people up. I once had to tell a young employee that she needed to wear shoes in the company cafeteria. Not making that up

  195. Anonymous

    Pastafarian here! ? ? ✋?

  196. Anonymous

    Someone else that didn’t read the original post. The issue is frequency and making others on the team uncomfortable. Why is this hard to understand? Does someone have to do it to you before you get it?

  197. Anonymous

    Every reply on here is theoretical. And there are a number of managers on here saying the same thing - get her away from your team. Someone in here was saying something about anonymous posting - you are why people post anonymously. Miss Kelly understood the assignment. You? Not so much.

  198. Anonymous

    It is not even remotely similar! Good grief the people on this thread!

  199. Anonymous

    Oooo - #5! Good use of Orwellian in many sentences!

  200. Anonymous

    #6? I’m losing count. You need to find another word. Orwellian is overdone.

  201. Rebecca Milliken

    Oh the irony.

  202. Anonymous

    There’s a post way down the line, where someone tries to explain it to her. And they were counting the “Orwellian” references.

  203. Anonymous

    Good. Let them count away. Hopefully they will get it. I doubt it though. Unbelievable that all of you don't get that this issue is among those that gets a criminal like Trump elected. And for good measure: ORWELLIAN!

  204. Anonymous

    I hope you have an amazing Hannukuh. Its so refreshing to see people not getting offended for such silly things.

  205. Rebecca Milliken

    You can put this comment about thought police on every post but it won't make it true. NO ONE is telling her what to think or say. They are just sick of her fake "Merry Christmas" that she is repeatedly saying to annoy people. It has nothing to do with her words but her intent and actions. Every single person with this argument is either dense or just loves playing the victim.

  206. Anonymous

    I would say dense is a projection on your part. The same idiocy that accuses a lovely merry christmas wish with "weaponizing" a holiday.

  207. Anonymous

    How many ChatGPT prompts did you have to put in to come up with the "Orwellian thought police" line you're so eager to drop all over this comment section?

  208. Anonymous

    Someone on here counted 6 or 7 Orwellian references.

  209. Anonymous

    None. Unlike you, I actually have thoughts without consulting ChatGpt. I can express them too! And will, whether you like it or not.

  210. Anonymous

    I would suggest you actually READ some books. Are you part of that smug Gen-Z crowd who never read anything so you assume everyone gets every thought they have on ChatGPT. God help us. Such lazIness.

  211. Patricia

    While "Christians" are happy to advise us that it's a national holiday celebrating Jesus Christ's birth on 25th December and you can repeat your greeting as you see fit.... you may like to check your history books.

    The early church actually did not celebrate the birth of Christ in December until Telesphorus, who was the second Bishop of Rome from 125 to 136AD. He declared that Church services should be held during this time to celebrate “The Nativity of our Lord and Saviour.” However, since no-one was quite sure in which month Christ was born, Nativity was often held in September, which was during the Jewish Feast of Trumpets (modern-day Rosh Hashanah). In fact, for more than 300 years, people observed the birth of Jesus on various dates.

    In 320 AD, Pope Julius I specified the 25th of December as the official date of the birth of Jesus Christ. In 325AD, Constantine the Great, the first Christian Roman emperor, introduced Christmas as an immovable feast on 25 December.

    However, this date was originally a pagan festival to celebrate the Great Mother Goddess giving birth to the baby Sun God. It is also called Yule, the day a huge log is added to a bonfire, around which everyone would dance and sing to awaken the sun from its long winter sleep. In Roman times, it became the celebrations honouring Saturnus (the harvest god) and Mithras (the ancient god of light), a form of sun worship.

    The Gospels tell us that his birth was shortly before Herod the Great died. Herod's death can be fixed with certainty. The first century Romano-Jewish historian, Titus Flavius Josephus, records an eclipse of the moon just before Herod passed on. This occurred on March 12th or 13th in 4 B.C. Hence, Jesus was born in March, yet his birth is celebrated on December 25th, the time of solstice.

  212. Anonymous

    Thanks! Many of our Christian holidays were conveniently scheduled around existing pagan celebrations, mostly to make it easy to assimilate to the new religion.

  213. misskelleyp

    I always love a history lesson! Thanks!

  214. J Williams

    Merry Christmas and we can say i everyday for 365 days of the year. The same way others may enjoy their holidays so will we. Thank you for the History lesson.

  215. Anonymous

    And, from the OP, if she wasn’t trying to force her merriment at every meeting, it wouldn’t be a problem. I’ve not seen one person post she cannot say Christmas or merry in any combination. What they do not want her to do is alienate the other team members that do not participate in her specific beliefs. Happy Holidays pretty much includes everyone. Except for those that do not celebrate anything, but even for them, it could be read as about the season, not a specific holiday. At least it’s an effort to be inclusive.

    You need to comprehend the every meeting part, as in not a heartfelt one-off, despite knowing that there are team members that do not celebrate the same thing. With that knowledge, she should know enough to try to do better. Unless she has a point to prove. In which case, we are back to she’s doing it to be a jerk at work.

    If you are talking about the US when you say your country is mature, you are so not aware of what is going on around you. Try not getting your news from only one source, and even tune into international news once in a while. This one example of a work jerk is about a lack of comprehension, as well as a lack of forethought. If what you want is a country that allows you to celebrate your religion without sanctions, or feeling uncomfortable about it, then you’d better allow others to do the same - if for no other reason that you be allowed to continue if you were not in the majority anymore. That’s the lack of maturity right there - you can’t think far enough ahead to a time where you might not be in the majority. And how you’d like to be treated if you were not in the majority. If you cannot do it for kindness alone, do it for that.

  216. Anne Krook

    Partly because the OP reports that others in the office are uncomfortable. This isn't neutral behavior, and one way to point that out is to turn the tables on the source of the behavior. Now, if there are other ways, great, but one advantage of this is that if the person doing the relentless greeting gets it and does less of it, no one has engaged HR, for example.

  217. Anonymous

    So what wrong with answering merry Christmas with happy Hanukkah or happy kwanza or just happy holidays ? I think it’s more a sign of respect for all faiths to say happy holidays , say what you want but that’s everyone’s right , so when You get a happy holiday or a happy Hanukkah and your not Jewish just smile and say merry Christmas what is wrong with people ? This upset over what is supposed to be holy time ? Everyone needs to chill lol i think it’s ok o answer with your faiths sayings why not? Why is that bad ? Get over it Christian is not the only faith show some Grace lol happy holidays !

  218. Anonymous

    Sixty-three percent of Americans are Christians, while that is the "majority" I would find it quite bullying if that 63% pushed their beliefs on me. It also means in a small office of 10, three people do not celebrate Christmas. In larger offices, more people will not celebrate. Christmas is a "day off" but we do not celebrate it like we would, let's say, Memorial Day, Labor Day or the Fourth of July. It is not something that we bond over as a nation, so just because it's a "day off" I wouldn't call it a National Holiday. Ironically, Christians most high holy day, Easter, is not a "National Holiday". Neither is the day Jesus died, Good Friday, a "National Holiday." So, clearly, the US government is not supporting Christianity and their holidays. Having your holiday off is clearly a priviledge that not every one shares. I think it is arrogant to keep reminding them. Also, I strongly believe that religious holidays are not something you throw in your co-worker's faces. I worked with a religious Orthodox Jew who quietly took her holidays off with no fuss or bother. Didn't wish us Happy Hanukka unless we wished her first. You know what I'm sick of? People flaunting their Chrisitanity like it's a badge to be worn. It's funny. I'm not always offended by a "Merry Christmas." I know the people who are generally wishing me joy and goodness and others who want to take the snowball badge of "I'm a Christian and you MUST acknowledge me" and shove it in my face. Where I live, schools close for Rosh HaShanna and Yom Kippur and for the first and last days of Ramadan. No one has ever loudly wished me a "Happy New Year" or "An easy fast." I stick largely with "Enjoy your day off!" If someone is a Christian and I am aware of that, I will quietly wish them a "Merry Christmas." I have to say I found the line "not [K}kwanza, not Hanuk[k]a or whatever" particularly telling about your priviledge and respect for those around you..

  219. Anonymous

    Christmas is celebrated in a secular way too. Christmas is a national holiday and we will say Merry Christmas whenever we like. Get a real problem or stop whining.

  220. Anonymous

    Religion is protected class. If this feels like harassment, the employee can sue. Even at Christian affiliated companies they have to give disclaimers about this stuff.

  221. Anonymous

    I’d ignore her.

  222. Anonymous

    No, you have. Obviously.

  223. Anonymous

    This is a forum for women to talk about work! It seems to have morphed onto the same social media bs. But why are you here?!

  224. Anonymous

    Ok. Orwellian! Happy? Your remark is still just as stupid as all the others complaining about Merry Christmas. Get a life!

  225. Anonymous

    And I wish you the same! What you deserve for wishing someone ill who expresses an opinion that you do not have the capacity to understand is not a good life.

  226. Anne Krook

    The OP suggests that other people in the organization are uncomfortable. It seems as though it's not the greeting by the frequency; the beginning and end of meetings throughout the workday seems a little much. And doing it to people who you know don't celebrate is a little much

  227. Patricia

    It's not a matter of "what we want to believe', but a matter of fact based on history.

    From the beginning of the Christian Era, the Christians followed the Julian solar calendar of 46 B.C.E. for general purposes, and with it adopted the Roman usage of counting the days of the month in a continuous series in relation to nones, ides, and kalends, they also evolved a specifically Christian calendar, the center of which was the day of the Resurrection.

    In 1568, Pope Pius V promulgated the universal calendar (Liturgical Calendar) setting the feast days and their dates which would be celebrated throughout the whole Church. Like it or not, the early Christians re-purposed pagan festivals and rituals, such as decorating green plants in late December through to the beginning of January to "honour and encourage" the sun god at the time of the winter solstice.

    Families commonly cut down an evergreen tree to bring into their home, where they decorated and displayed it in a prominent place. In the Middle Ages, this ritual of paganism persisted and was eventually adapted and given a Christian label, as Roman Catholic missionaries worked to convince people to worship the Son of God rather than the sun god. Even the famous carol "Twelve Days of Christmas" owe their origin to the pagan festival.

  228. Patricia

    I never said they were pagan, I said that that Christians repurposed/rebranded pagan holidays and rituals. Where ever did you learn comprehension?

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