Every time I start a new job, I'm excited about the opportunity but as soon as I start doing well, my managers start turning on me and try to push me out of the company.

31 Comments

1. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 1:58AM UTC

   I had the same happen to me. I worked in an all female department, never again

2. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 5:10PM UTC

   It is so sad, but true. IMO, women are the commonality. I was so excited to finally change industries and get my dream “office” job. My department is all female and for almost two years it has been pure hell. I have no issues with any other department, have actually received accolades for my work, but that just makes it worse. I have literally been instructed to not respond to the head of the company by my direct supervisor. I even got in trouble for speaking to her boss in a five minute conversation about a leadership class I was nominated for. I was instructed by cooperate and HR to reach out and learn more about other departments as part of my training and now I am public enemy number one to my boss because she doesn’t like her boss. I have literally had to start taking medication to deal with this job!!

3. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 3:44AM UTC

   Oh my word, this sounds like my experience. I haven't taken medicine yet but I'm on the cusp. I've been told not to respond, let the men do their job, the team loves a teammate who wasn't selected for more role and they've made it their mission to exclude me and sabotage my efforts. I've reached out to my VP and she doesn't care as she works in Arizona isn't part of the 'problem.' I feel bad as I talk to my friends and family about this all the time but I can't believe this is happening on a daily basis. I'm not sure where to turn and was so excited about this role when hired. I thought it was my dream job that quickly became a nightmare...

4. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 3:09AM UTC

   This all too familiar! Hard to advance at work with a target on my back. I'm not even at that level in my career, 30 yrs work experience, but nope...still entry level and always the enabler for other workers to advance. It's all about their spouses and reproduction, not like no one else had a family. If their spouses are all that why are they working? Apparently this isn't so. Lots of sabotage it's unreal!

5. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 12:45PM UTC

   Claim your turf and visit with your boss about what you are experiencing. Come in with solutions.

6. Deb HillOctober 23,2023 at 12:51PM UTC

   Honestly you sound like a good fit for contractor / consultant. Very up for the challenge, fast learner, fast results, probably overachieves, clients love you. Clearly don't have a problem switching companies or interviewing. Maybe the standard promotion path isn't for you.You don't even have to go freelance if there are Consultant companies in your Industry.

7. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 3:38AM UTC

   Thank you, Deb. That sounds like a wonderful option. I haven't considered that before and will defiantly keep in mind for the future!

8. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 1:49PM UTC

   I had the same thing happen early in my career. At my first job, I made myself indispensable, so there was no possibility of me ever doing anything else, which the organization's director acknowledged when I turned in my notice. At my second company, I ensured that someone could always fill any hole I left if I was ever promoted by mentoring others and taking the lead on projects. The notice this got me was that I was leadership material, and I made it to VP of R&D for one of the most successful product lines in the company. I didn't make a lot of friends along the way, except for those that I boosted up, but my peers were the ones who gave me grief. Doing your job well gets you noticed. The alternative isn't an option if you are looking at a career rather than "just a job."

9. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 3:27AM UTC

   I'm sorry you faced this as well. I've tried to fly under the radar especially early in my career. When I was considered 'safe' everything was fine but when I was seen as exceeding then it was a problem. I've learned that I should be proud of my successes but take feedback when I've made mistakes. As I look for a new role, I'm taking everyone's notes into account.

10. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 8:31PM UTC

    I have never been one who could do anything but the best I can do. I have always refused to do something "less" just so someone else can shine. I always figured that those who took offense to that it was THEIR problem, not mine.

11. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 1:53PM UTC

    You’re the commonality here. If this keeps happening, it’s likely something you’re doing, all of these people don’t have the same response because they’re just all inherently evil. I sense a bit of a superiority complex here….I’m not bragging but…. Maybe take a look inward and really think about how you present yourself.

12. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 3:25AM UTC

    OP: I appreciate feedback. I feel that line was taken out of context in which I meant, I'm not someone who shares publicly what's happening behind the scenes both in terms of when I'm doing well and not. I hate that this happened a few times throughout a 30-year career. I've had wonderful bosses but others that I thought I had great relationships with until I was recognized publicly. I want to avoid this happening in the future and I'm open to criticism.

13. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 2:34PM UTC

    IMO I think you need to look at common denominators and start there.

14. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 5:44PM UTC

    I could see this happening once, maybe twice, but more than that, I think you need to look at yourself if it is every job. Not all management of upper level superiors are the issue. It is time for some self reflection on this one.

15. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 7:53PM UTC

    I would question the common denominator and try and analyze what do all of you jobs have in common and why this trend is 100% consistent across the board.

16. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 11:10PM UTC

    OP: Not every job but it feels like the ones I most excited about turn into this type of situation. I acknowledge that I'm not perfect but I've had hands off managers who tended to pass the buck on to middle managers. When middle managers started doing well, they would hear jokingly 'they are doing a better job' and then it was a problem. This wasn't just me or I would examine within but my counterparts on other teams faced this same scenario. I honestly want to go in, do my job, do it well / learn and collect a paycheck. I'm simply doing my job and then told I shouldn't do it to the best of ability as it makes management look bad as they'd prefer not to their work. If your worth is based on your successes how can you compete in that type of environment> Do well, you're faulted, coast, you can't move forward and then don't do your work and you'll be written up by HR. I feel it's a no win situation. .

17. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 12:52PM UTC

    I don't understand the psychology of your point of view from management's perspective. The hardest I ever work is when my employees are struggling. This was true as a first line supervisor, middle manager, and senior management. It creates more fires for me to extinguish, more drama that takes a toll both physically and mentally, and all failures in a company are considered my failure as a leader. Why would I want that?

    It is true that not all middle managers will become senior managers at that company, but that doesn't mean they aren't being encouraged to excel. It's a numbers game. If it is your goal to be in senior management, you may have to work your way up at a few different companies. There are many benefits to this including statistically higher pay bumps and learning a variety of areas that increases your overall value in the marketplace.

    I would say that you're surrounding yourself with unhappy people that are creating a toxic culture. Really think hard about your last sentence. You are not a victim. You are the Captain of your own ship. You decide how you excel. Anyone in senior management has been around toxic employees/managers. The ones who overcome that are the ones who stay focused on their goals, bettering themselves, and make the focus of work about self development rather than some prize to be won.

18. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 5:20PM UTC

    I am highly skeptical. It seems highly unlikely you received the direction to dumb down your work or not to do it to the best of your ability. You seem to be missing the messaging and assume your work is of such a high level it scares managers. I just don't see how this could ever happen.

19. Todd DuclosOctober 24,2023 at 12:34PM UTC

    I think this a real issue within leadership. Humans are political and when they see someone growing in importance they can try to thwart that to protect their rewards. I suggest finding stronger leaders who will embrace your production as a joint effort. I admit many managers fail as leaders but if you find that trust them and enjoy the collaborative rewards.

20. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 3:29PM UTC

    Thank you, Todd. For a few of my roles, I was brought in because the leader was coasting and the CEO wanted someone to push projects forward. My direct manager and CELO weren't on the same page. By actioning what I was charged with by the CEO, (my direct manager was never around) it brought to light what she wasn't doing and she was eventually let go due to lack of productivity. The months leading up to that were contentious as I tried to collaborate and keep her in the loop with what I was being requested but she didn't want to hear it.

    Another situation: I had a great relationship with my boss for two years and then publicly a SR VP was joking around and said I had everything handled while he was on vacation and did it better than he did. I was doing the job that was requested in his absence and while it went well, it was a bad joke that the SR VP shared that my boss took to heart.

    The day after I started having projects taken away and being reallocated. The atmosphere where we had brainstorming session to help make the company and department move forward were cancelled and I equate it as if I switch went off and it wasn't the same situation.

    While I fully admit I'm not perfect, both of these situation were out were out of my control. I agree about the stronger leaders scenario as I've worked in management but instead of feeling threatened, I love to see my team members succeed and move forward in their careers. Thriving employees who feel valued by their companies and have the opportunity to develop their skills I find are more motivated and committed to the organization.

21. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 3:17PM UTC

    They feel threatened, I should listen my own advice it's very sad the word we living in. The work place that doesn't want to build up their staff

22. KathrynOctober 24,2023 at 3:36PM UTC

    I have this same issue I was fired recently as I was highlighting some issues we should deal with and instead of them being dealt with I got fired. So frustrating I keep hoping I will find a place that appreciates hard work but sometimes I feel like i should not do my best but I will and we will see what happens.

23. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 5:15PM UTC

    Does it happen with each job?

24. Melissa Boillot, SHRM - SCPOctober 24,2023 at 4:35PM UTC

    I would recommend coaching as it is really hard without more context to diagnose what is happening. Since this has happened multiple times, I’d recommend a lot of self-reflection to understand your role in the situation.

25. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 5:14PM UTC

    Obvious you are doing something to impact these relationships if every job goes south. That's not normal. Your not picking up on cues.

26. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 5:15PM UTC

    you have many choices here - not knowing the details of what you are experiencing, perhaps step back and think about the environment that you need.

    You can go to a place where you have to ask for permission to do things, or to ask forgiveness and just get sh** done. Then think about where you are and what the history that keeps repeating itself falls into the bucket it falls into is where you shouldn't be. Then think about how you get motivated and demotivated. Sometimes a company where there are many layers and people have power struggles to get noticed for their work can be harmful. This may be where you need to avoid for yourself. Choose wisely, look for trends in the past to not repeat in the future.

27. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 5:25PM UTC

    I completely understand; this also happens to me. Unfortunately many of those who call themselves leaders are actually far from that. I even got turned out by both managers and co-workers at a couple places because how I dress (nothing provocative or outside norms, just pulled-together and applying makeup). It’s a real thing out there. And it isn’t your fault! Many workers and managers hate to see shining stars. You keep doing you; encourage others, be a team player, and find a job working with truly confident people (easier said than done, but doable). Good luck!

28. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 6:20PM UTC

    Screw those comments that say to "self reflect". This happens in every workplace and I'm sorry that's happening to you.

29. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 6:48PM UTC

    Have you figured out why it keeps happening?

30. AnonymousOctober 25,2023 at 1:03PM UTC

    There are a lot of ‘leaders’ who have minimal if any leadership talent or skill.
    They will inevitably become insecure and try to keep ‘their’ team from outshining them.

    Depending on the industry, you may have better luck in a startup environment where new ideas and hustle are not seen as threatening.

31. Lisa Bracco SpinelliOctober 25,2023 at 4:39PM UTC

    This happened to me a few times. I wasn't the best at what I did, but if I got the polish and training I needed, I could have been a superstar. Instead, I ran into people who wouldn't help and exploited my weaknesses - neurodivergent being the big one.

    Not surprisingly, I worked in a female dominated field.

    The last time it happened, it was by a woman afraid of losing her job, who started to undermine my performance after I brought issues to the big boss's attention. I was in no way trying to suck up because that's not me at all. She noticed this, quietly started the BS and you can easily guess the rest.

    If you can't get the current situation back on track, look into consulting or your own business. You might be better off working for yourself.