One of my employee's resigned to take a position with more pay, better title and remote option.

76 Comments

1. AnonymousOctober 28,2023 at 3:25PM UTC

   Going through the process of applying for a new job in this market is rarely just about a pay bump. That is probably the reason they gave, but it is not the only reason.

   Realistically, your employee will likely leave. If not, they are not likely to stay long because this situation will have changed so much.

   So, you have to realize that this counter-offer changed your relationship with them even if they stay.

   But since both of you are uncomfortable, it does sound like this is a good opportunity to have a conversation with them to see how they would like it to be addressed with their peers. I would also talk to HR and get as much input as possible.

   But realistically know that they are probably going to go now or even if they accept the counter-offer, in a few months and either way their co-workers are going to realize that they can get more money too by moving on.

2. AnonymousOctober 28,2023 at 3:57PM UTC

   Thanks!

   The employee was sought by their former employer (at least that is the information shared) but I agree this isn't just about money.

   Consulting employee would be my natural course, but the HR input is an added angle. I appreciate your input.

3. maria roseOctober 28,2023 at 3:29PM UTC

   I am confused—are you asking about the fallout from the employee leaving or the compensation for taking on the extra work responsibilities.

   First if you are asking about the employee leaving and your boss attempting to offer this employee a counter offer—you have nothing to do with this transaction other than to wait for what results. Maybe the employee will be satisfied with that counter offer or not.

   Second if you are not the boss but a fellow worker, your boss is completely entitled to expect that in the interim if this employee leaves, that the work will still be accomplished. It is not your place to decide how the work is distributed across the office but to accept this as a normal occurrence, especially since it appears that the boss will be hiring someone if this employee leaves. Complaining about a temporary phase adjustment that might not occur is not professional.

4. AnonymousOctober 28,2023 at 3:51PM UTC

   Thanks.

   My question is how to manage the fallout.

   It will be my job to hire a replacement. I am not complaining about extra work. This was to reinforce it is in my best interest to retain employee, but I am concerned about how it will be perceived by others, who also report to me.

5. maria roseOctober 29,2023 at 2:02AM UTC

   If your concern is planning on finding a new employee to fill the role being opened by this employee leaving, then you should already know exactly what skills are required for the position and what kind of employee performance you are looking for and what will keep your new potential employee confident to stay in the job.

6. CassieOctober 28,2023 at 4:28PM UTC

   I say offer it. it's unusual that a boss will try to keep someone. It will help the conversation with the leaving person, it is terrible to leave with the misunderstanding in place - years later you lack credibility that you can refer to. And maybe get her to read, Why Women Earn Less by Mikelann Valterra - really good on noting what other perks could matter, looking at one's long term goals, and finding a way to frame her actions as effective and supportive of company goals, but her methods unseen.

7. AnonymousOctober 28,2023 at 5:17PM UTC

   Most people do not accept a counter offer. Ask her what led her to decide to leave the company, when you understand that you can also understand what is needed to be done for future retention in that role or for an ultimate replacement. You could tell your manager that she is not the top performer and instead suggest someone to promote from within the team who is at the lower rate which would go far further in enthusing the team. A good manager when losing someone to another company wishes them well and celebrates their success as their own.

   If she does decide to stay ask her to not share the details with others because it will cause internal strife.

8. AnonymousOctober 28,2023 at 11:39PM UTC

   Exactly. Then again, if they are staying only for the money, is that a person interested in the job or the paycheck? If it's the paycheck, is that a person you want on your team? I would NEVER counter because I would never leave "just for the money" (evidenced by getting a master's degree in a career that paid half what my previous career did with just a BS.) I want my employees to be passionate about their work but accept that some are in it just for the paycheck. In the end, the cream always rises to the top. This is why I never disclosed the company's offer when I resigned, as that was never why I left.

9. AnonymousOctober 29,2023 at 2:07PM UTC

   Having the luxury of working a job for passion is not a reality for most employees. It is also rather abusive to expect people to put up with poor pay or working conditions because they are "passionate".It does not sound like "the cream is rising to the top" as much as a culture that fosters codependency and attracts people who are willing to put up with substandard conditions.

10. AnonymousOctober 29,2023 at 2:37PM UTC

    I'm not suggesting that. I pointed out two extremes, and most people sit somewhere in the middle. Yes, we all need to support our families, and No, we do not need to be taken advantage of by money-grubbing employers. It all needs to work in balance. In many lines of work, if the person has chosen the career only for the money they will make, they will not likely perform well and burn out quickly. To perform well at a job, a person generally has to like what they do. Too much passion, on the other hand, can burn someone out just as fast, so, like I said, it has to be in balance. I performed well selling cars, but I wouldn't say I liked the job, and it burned me out. If I had wanted (rather than needed) the job or had a passion for selling cars, I could have been one of the top salespeople at the showroom, but instead, I just brought home enough to eat and pay the rent. I resented those overly entitled people who would twist every penny out of your commission by squeezing the sales manager for the sale when I couldn't afford to buy or drive the cars I was selling. To them, it was a "game," so I get your point.

11. AnonymousOctober 30,2023 at 12:42PM UTC

    Sometimes, doing what you are passionate about doesn't pay the bills. I HATE my job. My leadership is garbage, the only acknowledgement and praise comes from peers and business partners, and the parent company just keeps taking things away from us. That being said, I have bills to pay, and the job market is super-saturated, unless you have a specific niche, or care to work more than one job. You can be in it just for the paycheck and still do a good job. As stated, I hate my job, but am one of the top performers on the team - to the point where I am taken advantage of regularly - Added workload with no compensation, blown smoke about being "trusted to handle the high-visibility work"- the games that leaders play with subordinates' heads is terrible. Knowing that we need our jobs to live, they stretch us as thin as possible. When we waiver, or, perish the thought, fall, it's all in us. The way we work in America is detrimental to our well-being. I can't be passionate about a place that couldn't care less about me.

12. AnonymousOctober 28,2023 at 10:28PM UTC

    The problem with anyone who accepts the counteroffer is that the company and the work don't change. The person has gotten excited about a new opportunity, and if they take the counteroffer, they will soon regret it when this realization hits. We had a guy that quit twice, and we countered. When he resigned the third time, we accepted it and showed him the door. I'm not saying this is what your person is doing, but he was "playing" us.

13. AnonymousOctober 29,2023 at 5:21PM UTC

    Maybe he was playing you but here’s a different narrative to consider: maybe he likes the company and tried to make it work, but he realized more money wasn't going to make the job better or more tolerable. There are sooooo many other reasons for workplace misery, like a toxic controlling boss or a hostile environment, micromanagement, no flexibility, work overload, lack of trust, forcing employees to commute back in the office, the list goes on.

    Ppl think if they are making enough money, they can tolerate the other BS. But eventually, it chews you up and spits you out. Ppl quit bc of managers/leaders, not bc of the company.

14. AnonymousOctober 30,2023 at 12:24AM UTC

    I think you misread what I wrote. We showed HIM the door. He thought he could come back a third time for another promotion and more money. He made the environment toxic because we never knew what scheme he would come in with next.

15. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistOctober 29,2023 at 3:58AM UTC

    What, specifically, is the employee uncomfortable about?

    As a general rule, counteroffers are rarely a good idea for either party.

    Employees rarely leave jobs solely for money - so throwing more money at them doesn't fix the real reasons they're looking to leave.

    And if they're worth more money Monday, why weren't they worth more money two months ago. Why did they have to decide to leave for them to get more money.

    I routinely counsel candidates not to accept counter offers. I have had candidates who did accept counter offers call me back - sometimes in tears - to see if they could now accept an offer that is, of course, no longer on the table. The record was 48 hours - she realized management had completely lied to her - but by then she had blown up the great offer she had on the table from us.

    And even if candidates do accept a counter offer, most have already made the emotional decision to move on. After the glow of those first few bigger paychecks wear off, typically they're gone in 6 months anyway.

    And depending on just how mercenary your employee is, they may use your counter offer to go back to the potential new employer to get THAT offer increased.

    FYI - I don't bite on this nonsense either.

    REGARDING: "he said it will be my job to deal with the fall out when her peers learn about it"

    Typical - he creates the mess and you'll have to clean it up.

    So if he's the one approving compensation changes, ultimately it will be HIS job to deal with the fall out.

    This is another reason why counter offers are typically not a good idea. If you employees are smart, they will start asking for comparable raises.

    Depending on your relationship with the employee, you could ask her to keep this matter confidential - no guarantee that she would though.

    Personally, I feel the appropriate response to an employee turning in their resignation is "good luck in your new job!".

    Since it sounds like your boss is unfortunately the one making the decisions on this, you might start by asking your employee the reasons she was looking for a new position - you can then re-enforce that the counter offer you're presenting her will change none of those things.

    Good luck - please keep us posted.

16. AnonymousOctober 29,2023 at 6:25PM UTC

    Thanks so much. I have wished her best of luck and actually think leaving is probably the best decision for her career progression. I truly value her and would love to continue to work with her. The disparity in pay this would cause among people with more experience is what makes this challenging for me.

17. MPOctober 29,2023 at 6:53PM UTC

    Then the problem is solely with your company which refuses to increase their pay for all employees to what is the current market rate for their work. Not your fault alone, since you said your boss is in charge of that, but you could try advocating for your employees who do good work.

18. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistOctober 29,2023 at 11:38PM UTC

    It sound like it's time for your company to do a compensation review. What your boss needs to understand is that if your company doesn't pay your employees what they're worth, chances are someone else will.

    And then your company will have to hire their replacements at market, which if you would have paid your current employees that, they wouldn't have left. Companies rarely save money in the long run by underpaying employees.

19. GirlBossanova934974October 29,2023 at 12:31PM UTC

    I would say you are getting all worried about very little. The employee in question is NOT likely to accept the counter offer and as such, you will not have to explain anything to anyone. The work this person did will have to be farmed out to who is left in the organization until a replacement is found. That assumes a replacement will be found. The more immediate problem is that your organization is underpaying its employees. We are in a new world as of now. The gloves have come off. Employers think nothing of slashing workforces at the drop of a hat. Employees react and cover themselves. A better job with more pay and a promotion? The old employer is dumped like a piece of garbage and the employee hands in a few day's notice, never to be heard from again.

20. AnonymousOctober 29,2023 at 1:08PM UTC

    Please refrain from using terms such as “my employee” - you don’t own her.

    Further, it sounds like she is great performer so was it necessary to mention that she isn’t THE top performer.

    You lack some awareness and I suspect you are a factor in her decision to exit in the first place. Further, if her pay and working location will create excesss dispersion between her and others in the team then, yes, there will resentment from others.

    Wish her well and leave the door open but I doubt she will accept this counter anyway.

21. AnonymousOctober 29,2023 at 1:21PM UTC

    This!

22. Jen IngramOctober 29,2023 at 2:08PM UTC

    + 1 for inclusive language! What alternatives do you recommend?

23. AnonymousOctober 30,2023 at 1:59PM UTC

    * The team I support

    * a direct report

24. Stacey Boduch FoxOctober 29,2023 at 2:09PM UTC

    This response feel sort of rough. I don’t see anything wrong with the post.

25. AnonymousOctober 29,2023 at 2:29PM UTC

    I left a job a couple years ago when I was offered a remote position. We’d been working remote, and we’d been told to return to the office. When I gave notice to my boss, I told her about the new position, which was 100% remote and came with a significant pay increase.

    What I didn’t tell her was that I had been looking for this new role for three or four months, and she was 100% the reason I was looking. She was very short on praise, but every mistake (or perceived mistake) I made was the absolute end of the world. She also enjoyed sharing her political opinions with me regularly, and assumed I was in agreement with her. I was not, but I was afraid to disagree with her because every work-related opinion I expressed in disagreement with her own was met with a response that showed she was taking my vocalized difference of opinion personally. I was also not the “top performer”, but I worked hard and produced significant results, and I know my departure left a hole until my position was filled, which took months.

    I wouldn’t have taken a matching offer—even if they let me work remote. I was miserable and had to get away from that boss! I agree with this and think OP should consider their own part in this employee’s departure.

26. AnonymousOctober 29,2023 at 4:54PM UTC

    This is simply a different viewpoint, and I agree. “My employee “ and “not THE top performer” rubbed me the wrong way as well. But overall, good advice in this feed. Be brave, and as a leader of people, have that hard conversation with your boss about competitive pay and other perks for your team. That's what a good leader does.

27. AnonymousOctober 29,2023 at 6:15PM UTC

    Appreciate your thoughts. I see that language was harsh.

28. AnonymousOctober 29,2023 at 6:11PM UTC

    Thanks. In retrospect, I see the language was off putting.

29. HaleyOctober 29,2023 at 1:28PM UTC

    I’m guessing they won’t accept a counter offer, especially if their new position offers a remote option and yours does not.

30. Maggie StoneOctober 29,2023 at 2:33PM UTC

    If you want to keep her, be prepared to match or exceed the offer. If not, be prepared to let her go. Might be an ideal moment to discuss employee retention.

31. AnonymousOctober 29,2023 at 6:06PM UTC

    Thanks.

32. AnonymousOctober 29,2023 at 2:42PM UTC

    I seriously doubt they’ll accept the counter. Most people are advised NEVER to accept a counter. She’s gone. Should’ve treated her better when you had her . ??‍♀️

33. AnonymousOctober 29,2023 at 6:06PM UTC

    Agree she is probably gone and hoping to learn something from it all. Thanks.

34. AnonymousOctober 29,2023 at 3:06PM UTC

    What part are you claiming is bad advice? Be specific.

35. Megan BloomOctober 29,2023 at 3:16PM UTC

    here’s what you do: you let her go and be happy. then you go to your boss. you say, “all jobs that can be remote should be remote. all pay must be competitive. we just lost X, and we’re about to lose a lot more people if you don’t step up.”

36. AnonymousOctober 29,2023 at 6:03PM UTC

    Thanks.

37. KathrynOctober 29,2023 at 5:12PM UTC

    She should not take counter offer speaking from experience I was first laid off after taking a counter offer. Also you have to deal with fall out no he does he wrote the offer.

38. AnonymousOctober 29,2023 at 6:02PM UTC

    Thanks.

39. AnonymousOctober 29,2023 at 9:38PM UTC

    That is certainly a concern I have about taking counter offers.

40. AnonymousOctober 29,2023 at 6:24PM UTC

    Did she come to you first and ask to work remote, get a raise, and have a better title before she started looking? If not, then there's nothing to counter. I agree with the other posters who said to shake her hand and wish her well and then work with your leadership to focus on retaining your actual top talent so that you don't lose more people.

41. AnonymousOctober 30,2023 at 12:29AM UTC

    Don’t counter. Just don’t. Let her go. She is only going to leave eventually anyway. Focus o. Keeping the remaining employees.

42. AnonymousOctober 30,2023 at 1:06AM UTC

    Sometimes money isn’t everything. Perhaps the employee you mentioned needs to be challenged in a different way. It is good if a person wants to travel for the holidays to visit family/friends and take work with them. That is huge!

43. Chrissy Regan SmytheOctober 30,2023 at 2:39AM UTC

    If your employee was unhappy enough to look for another position, a counter offer won’t change things. It may make the situation more toxic especially if the same deal isn’t offered to other employees. Wish her well and let her go. You’ll find someone to fill her spot.

44. Wanda ShawOctober 30,2023 at 4:50AM UTC

    I’m with everyone else that’s commented on this situation - let the employee go. It’s much better to deal with the temporary pressures that her absence will cause than trying to explain to the remaining team members including the top performer, that their potential bonuses and other perks were essentially swallowed up in an attempt to retain this one employee.

45. Joe HelmsOctober 30,2023 at 11:04AM UTC

    Let her go. Even tho the loss will be deeply felt. The others who are top performers will continue to be be. Reward one of them with t he position.

46. AnonymousOctober 30,2023 at 11:13AM UTC

    Wow, willingly creating a culture of dissent. That's one way to go, be prepared. You just told someone that they're NOT replaceable, false, and the others are seeing a precedence just created. Goodluck, this is not going to be pretty............

47. LivOctober 30,2023 at 12:27PM UTC

    People aren't stupid.
    If the employee stays, they're going to know that more money was involved in some way. Questions will then be asked. You can do as boss wants you to, but ultimately the buck stops with them. That's the wonderful thing about being a boss. They will be responsible for any blowback from the crapstorm that is surely coming. Boss might as well get ready for some meetings with disgruntled employees because why CAN'T they get a raise? ?

48. AnonymousOctober 30,2023 at 12:29PM UTC

    I've seen them do that at our workplace with varying degrees of success. In some cases most people didn't even know the person had put in a resignation. It all happened behind closed doors. In others some people knew because the employee said they had and then said they opted to stay (counter offer? other job fell through? no one actually knew the story).

    I know one person stayed for another month, one for 6, the other guy is still here nearly a decade later. So the "WHY" she is leaving may be even more important than the money. The money can be countered. Workplace culture and the job parameters may not be able to be.

    But if she stays there's no reason for the entire business to know under what parameters she opted to stay.

49. AnonymousOctober 30,2023 at 12:47PM UTC

    too little too late. If you want to keep people, you need to be flexible

50. Mathieu DutourOctober 30,2023 at 12:49PM UTC

    The typical advice is that the counteroffer is too late. The employee has proven she does not want to stay and nothing can change that.

51. Amber MaranyaOctober 30,2023 at 12:54PM UTC

    I agree with the other commenters, also, to give her that kind of flexibility but not give it to anyone else is a terrible idea. You will lose a lot of your team to other places if that comes out to the team. Your boss obviously doesn't care about culture either.

52. AnonymousOctober 30,2023 at 1:00PM UTC

    Let her go and have faith that the new person you hire will take up the job and do well. It is not a good idea to step backwards once you decide to take on a new path. And it is dishonest to offer this to her and lie to the others, and who is to say that your company will not change its mind and take it all back because of all of the problems it may cause with the others? This is LIFE. Let her go and have faith in others. It's just work!!

53. AnonymousOctober 30,2023 at 1:38PM UTC

    No one is indispensable! Don’t counter offer. It WILL lead to a mutiny; loss of trust, damaged relationships, etc., these are the things that ruin morale. Just let her go and leave on good terms… so many great people are out of work( spend the time and $ on the search to replace her, or better yet, promote from within if possible. (P.S. your boss needs a write up on this, perhaps a replacement is in order down the road! Be sure to document this!) hope it all works itself out :)

54. AnonymousOctober 30,2023 at 1:55PM UTC

    Don’t counter. People don’t leave for money only. If these things would have kept her before, she should have asked for them at regular 1:1 or reviews. Congratulate her, wish her well, and now that you know there’s some room for counter-offer look at what you could do with the team you have now.

55. AnonymousOctober 30,2023 at 2:16PM UTC

    The mindset that you and your company that shows that you can't go on without them, is not a company that wants growth. We are ALL replaceable. Too bad the example being set is going to backfire on your other dedicated employees.

56. AnonymousOctober 30,2023 at 3:12PM UTC

    I disagree. Having the mindset that everyone is replaceable will backfire. You should offer the counter. This shows you value the employee and will fight for her. If other employees see this, they will feel that you are willing to go to bat for good employees. However, they should not hear about the counter offer. Explain to the employee that you're offering it to that this is confidential and should not be shared. Then, the employee will see how much you value her and don't want to lose her. This has happened to me and my loyalty to the company and my leader increased and I stayed for four more years.

57. AnonymousOctober 30,2023 at 3:16PM UTC

    Not all are viewed the same, that is not showing consistency, but hey it they're willing to risk it, go for it! You stayed for 4 more years, not the long term ROI. See your point though.

58. AnonymousOctober 31,2023 at 2:09PM UTC

    The store closed after four more years, so I had to leave. I was with the company for six years, which is not short-term. Four more years of loyalty is a substantial amount of time. I would work for that leader to this day and this was 18 years ago. I also respected him and appreciated him for seeing something in me that was worth fighting for. That is rare these days, with company's having the mindset that everyone is replaceable. We are not all replaceable!

59. AnonymousOctober 31,2023 at 6:54PM UTC

    interesting.

60. AnonymousOctober 30,2023 at 2:36PM UTC

    I'm in the same position as your employee; I'm moving to another job with more money and better title. I was not looking for a job but decided to take this opportunity to improve my career. The extra money will definitely help but it's not the main reason why I'm moving. I'd assume she has more reasons to move other than money so a counter offer wouldn't be a good idea.

61. Queen SmallsOctober 30,2023 at 2:48PM UTC

    Follow your boss’ directive. Make the counter. If the employee stays, which it sounds like she won’t, you’ve retained a valuable team member. If other team members inquire about the counter, gently let them know you are not privy to share that information, and express their value to you, the team, and company (if you mean it). If she decides to continue with her resignation, wish her well.

62. The Williams WeddingOctober 30,2023 at 4:09PM UTC

    Definitely wish the employee well and mention that she will be a great asset to the new organization as she is to this organization. Kindly ask her what would a counter offer look like to get her to stay and you will work through the decision makers to do your best to meet it. In that way, you won't be wasting time going back and forth with a counter offer that would not work for the employee anyway. If possible, provide a similar remote option as the new org.

63. AnonymousOctober 30,2023 at 4:35PM UTC

    I dot think you can soften this the other employees are going to know she was given more what they after that is up to them especially if one of them is better at the job than she is and ho early everywhere I have world and seen this the person leaves not long after anyway

64. AnonymousOctober 30,2023 at 4:51PM UTC

    I never understood the counteroffer. The person wants to leave, wants to leave. The reason why probably won't change when getting a higher salary and staying. This will maybe take a few months (or less) and then the reason pops up again. Often more intense.

    One way or another you will lose this employee eventually. Except when money is the only reason. Which often isn't. Or the other(s) because they will not get a raise. And feel neglected, not appreciated etc.

    I don't understand companies who counteroffer. Why is this person of high value but wasn't previously?

    The time I got a counteroffer, I became so mad that I advised my manager never to take that word in his mouth again when I was around.

65. AnonymousOctober 30,2023 at 5:49PM UTC

    Some people do these interviews to keep their options open and to make sure their employers compensate them fairly. The counter offer is necessary.

66. AnonymousOctober 31,2023 at 11:51AM UTC

    Nope. If they are solely interested in making sure they are compensated fairly, then going out on job interviews is not the answer. Research is.

67. LaTanya HubbardOctober 31,2023 at 12:09AM UTC

    I was in this position except I was the high performer, and I did not accept the counter offer. Money was not the only reason I left and by the time I was ready to go, they could have offered me more than my new salary, and I still would have left. I am almost positive she is going to turn down the counter offer so you likely have no reason to worry about breaking it to the rest of the team. My thought process was always if they appreciated me and could have done these things for me while I was here, then they should have done it when I asked. Don’t wait until someone else recognizes my value and then suddenly find a way to accommodate my raise and other requests.

68. Liz MilneOctober 31,2023 at 1:43AM UTC

    It sounds like she's found somewhere much better - and a place where her (seemingly well-deserved) higher pay isn't going to be used as a stick to beat other employees/ this employee with in the future... She's better off going and your boss is better off spreading the money around to those who deserve it BEFORE they find a new job...

69. AnonymousOctober 31,2023 at 8:23AM UTC

    This is a really good post, I like it, and thank you for sharing it with us.

70. schneileOctober 31,2023 at 12:26PM UTC

    My advice: Counsel your boss on being a more flexible, better-paying employer, or risk losing your very best people for the same reasons. Employees today expect flexible work options and being paid what the market says they are worth. If your boss is unwilling to read the room on this, your company is sure to lose more high-caliber talent.

71. Anne KrookOctober 31,2023 at 4:11PM UTC

    It is perfectly possible to encourage your employees to work hard, so well, and get their own counteroffers without referencing the outgoing employee. There are many documented cases of that as a technique for seeking a raise or internal promotion

72. AnonymousOctober 31,2023 at 5:03PM UTC

    How will the coworkers learn about it? Not from you, for sure.

    They can do the same thing - go out and look for an offer and negotiate a counter-offer if they learn that this worked for one person. There may indeed be money for them. Your boss wants to you to lie, so why do you think you're getting the truth from him?

    Don't "borrow trouble." Remember that 90% of the things we worry about don't happen.

73. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistNovember 1,2023 at 8:57AM UTC

    So, OP, what happened?

74. AnonymousNovember 1,2023 at 3:09PM UTC

    Honestly, she shouldn't accept your offer.

    The time to boost wages and take good care of employees is not when they have one foot out the door. It's everyday, Monday through Friday. All the money in the world and all the harp music in Heaven won't change the fact that the other employer valued her more. That's just a fact.

75. AnonymousNovember 2,2023 at 11:30PM UTC

    Completely agree. I want more of that attitude in Corporate America!!! I've been schooled that to get a sufficient raise, a person has to have an outside offer (at my former company it had to be in writing). Despite my first director's strong suggestions to do so, I declined ("if I get an outside written offer, I'm taking it"); he got my raise through somehow. My second director wouldn't, and by this time my pay gap was that much larger, so I got the written offer (40% increase) and left. For this post, if the employee hadn't previously asked for a raise then she's motivated by where she's going. If she had previously asked for a reasonable raise and hadn't gotten it then she's motivated by where she's leaving.

76. LORI-ANN BURLINGAMENovember 1,2023 at 4:00PM UTC

    You are in a difficult spot. Are you more worried about the team or about the impact her leaving will have on you?

    It sppears that she is unhappy and made a decision to leave. If she had wanted moer money, would she have asked for it? Is she trying to manipulate you and the team?

    The team comes first. She made the decision to look for another job and give notice. Is there a way that you can reassign her work to other team members until a replacement is hired?