I was recently laid off, along with other people at my company, while taking FMLA to care for my husband who has Stage IV cancer, recently had surgery, and is about to undergo radiation and chemotherapy treatments for 6 weeks.

54 Comments

1. AnonymousNovember 14,2023 at 5:10PM UTC

   If writing a letter helps you find closure and peace then by all means write your letter.

2. AnonymousNovember 14,2023 at 5:47PM UTC

   You can certainly express your thoughts with the company about the decision, but I'm not sure that is the best avenue for you. Severance agreements are negotiable. If this is affecting many employees, you should have 45 days to consider/sign/return the agreement. Are you over 40? Were you provided with an OWBPA notice? How long were you employed there? I'd ask for more severance (if you've bene there awhile, also ask how the severance amounts were determined), them to cover at least a month of COBRA (if you were on FMLA, how did you keep up with your insurance premiums?), by any chance are they provided you with any sort of outplacement services?

3. AnonymousNovember 14,2023 at 7:54PM UTC

   Go to your local health department with your severance package and husband's medical information. If you have no money coming in, you should be able to apply for State Medicaid that will pick up when your other insurance drops.

   Unfortunately as far as writing the company, as hard as it is to swallow, it is business. Over time you get to know a lot of people and you know their personal stories and while the empathy is there, often times the ones making the decisions are not the same ones you report directly to.

   I would write the letter and put it away. Apply for any help you can get from the State/Federal government. Get a caseworker and don't be too proud to accept help.

   Good luck. I pray that things get better for you.

4. AnonymousNovember 15,2023 at 1:20PM UTC

   Given your situation, I would definitely approach HR and your supervisor about this to see if they might make an exception to cover your COBRA premiums for a couple months to get past your husband's treatment phase. I would discourage you from discussing this or any special arrangements that may be made between you and HR/the company re: this request as it may make others bitter and resentful even though your situation is rather dire. It doesn't hurt to ask and I would go ask immediately.

5. E CNovember 15,2023 at 1:26PM UTC

   I am sorry you are dealing with this. I wouldn't write to the company. I would write to your Congress Person and Senators. The number of people who are "selected" for layoffs for taking FMLA leave is enough that it's a legitimate fear. I personally know two. The fact that FMLA is unpaid and that companies are able to target these staff without consequences is absolute and utter BS. Workers in 2023 deserve better. After you do that, consider whether you want to share your experience on Glassdoor or elsewhere. You need to determine the potential consequences for your career, especially if someone can figure out that you wrote it. Companies would, of course, prefer if you don't share this information. But it is not slander if you factually state, "I was on FMLA leave and laid off." Wishing you the best.

6. AnonymousNovember 15,2023 at 1:38PM UTC

   There is nothing you can do. I had this happen to me 5 years ago. I had stellar reviews and was outproducing my peers (in same role)- 5 stars on public reviews, etc....But the entire service line I worked in was being quietly eliminated by a failing hospital system...and I was in that service line. There's alot I can say about this (like, why didn't you offer me a position in another department?)--but that is water over the bridge now. It didn't matter. I, as well as others, lost pretty much everything and my severance was 5 weeks' pay. We lived (still do) off my entire paycheck, as my husband hasn't worked in 9 years- he has a connective tissue disorder that is genetic. So....yes, I've been in your shoes. Don't waste ONE MINUTE of energy on trying to fight anything. The decision was made, the Ink is dry, and it's all legal...esp since they let others go at the same time. (I made the decision to hire an attorney and learned ALOT, but it cost me 5K-- you already know everything you need to know). They don't care, will never care. They closed their eyes and wiped out peoples' lives...yours included. So...Here is what you are going to do for the short term: YOu are going to buy cobra for the next month or two. I KNOW IT'S EXPENSIVE. But you'll do it to buy yourself some time and get thru the holidays. You are going to file for unemployment immediately. Here in my state, that came thru without much difficulty after my severance ran out. You are going to stop all subscriptions and tighten every spending belt you have. You'll be amazed and how much you can buy and be happy with from the Dollar Tree and Thrift stores. and you'll spend much quality time with your spouse, who is ill. Later (probably 3 years from now)- you will look back with anger and disdain for these people who did this to you...but you will also see that it gave you good quality time with your spouse...and this will change you for the better. Yes, it will. After you sift thru the anger/shock and resentment...the hurt....you will emerge better than before. I promise. God bless!

7. ShellieNovember 15,2023 at 1:55PM UTC

   No one could say it better than this.

8. AnonymousNovember 15,2023 at 5:35PM UTC

   Thank you. But what if I can't afford COBRA?

9. AnonymousNovember 17,2023 at 12:38AM UTC

   So...check options...cobra versus healthcare exchange versus some private policy with super high deductible. Sell stuff on marketplace, take out a home equity loan...ask your parents, anything to keep a shell of coverage...that's what you'll do...there is ingenuity to be had...you'll dig deeper and do this, I promise!

10. AnonymousNovember 22,2023 at 4:45AM UTC

    I'm looking into the health care exchange. We don't own our home, and my parents are both gone now. So those aren't options. But thanks!

11. AnonymousNovember 15,2023 at 2:03PM UTC

    You also might want to contact the medical providers, like any drug companies, hospitals, or doctors offices. Explain your situation and ask for the discounts the insurance companies get, or anything else they can offer to help.

12. ShellieNovember 15,2023 at 2:05PM UTC

    If you are over 40, the only law this really falls under is the OWBPA. If your company had more than 20 workers and laid off a group of people, they should provide you with demographic information on who was laid off. This may help you feel better that you were not targeted for your FMLA situation or age. However, the process of lawyers or EEOC filings would be long and costly, and you have important things to focus on. I was laid off when my mother was going through chemo. It hurt financially but unemployment helped. I treasure the time I got to spend with my Mom before her passing. It was a blessing in disguise. Sending hugs your way.

13. AnonymousNovember 15,2023 at 2:46PM UTC

    Yes, I can sympathize. I was a day before taking FMLA for my own medical condition when they called me on the phone and let me go. After almost 15 years at the company and stellar performance. I fought them for more severance (and won) and took some time off to get better and then put my energy into relocating and changing career paths, which is something I wanted to do for awhile. Now I’m much happier with a better job, living where I want to live. In the end, what started out as awful (and it absolutely was at the time) turned out to be a blessing. I hope it does for you too.

14. AnonymousNovember 15,2023 at 4:04PM UTC

    I am so sorry. This happened to my brother too. He took FMLA after having a serious nervous breakdown. He was laid off. It took months to help him get his mental health back in a good place, but he’s doing a lot better now. His finances are a mess from being unemployed for so long though.

    The United States needs unions now more than ever. Private businesses don’t treat workers with empathy. The laws designed to protect us aren’t working anymore either. Workers really need the collective bargaining power of unions.

15. Balanced372207November 16,2023 at 2:01PM UTC

    Amen to your comment on the necessity of unions.

16. Theresa WilsonNovember 16,2023 at 3:17PM UTC

    I also had the experience of using all my sick leave, not qualifying for the disability program they school district, going on FMLA and eventually obtaining (after three attempts) State (California) Teachers Retirement Disability (STRS). It was so stressful as I was hospitalized and didn't know if I would ever work again. I had a friend help me who had worked with disability claims in her industry-healthcare.

    A low point was when an HR staffer asked why I wasn't over the depression yet. I was so mad. I wrote back that I hoped neither she nor any of her family members ever suffered from severe clinical depression. It took four years to fully recover. I worked as a volunteer, part time and now full for last two years. It was so humbling to go on disability but it saved my life along with meds and therapy. Get an advocate, emotional or otherwise to check on you, help you and never give up. Times are certain to change. Change is the only certainty.

17. AnonymousNovember 19,2023 at 6:42PM UTC

    Unfortunately there is still a stigma that does not seem to go away about mental illness/depression etc. You'll still get employers/HR acting like all you wanted was a vacation from work for a few weeks or months, you were just indulging yourself. You are expected to "get over it" and they don't care. Good for you for standing up for yourself!

18. AnonymousNovember 19,2023 at 6:37PM UTC

    It depends on the union. My husband is a former city employee in a hospital. Their union reps were frequently told by management to go kick rocks when an employee had a grievance or other dispute and the union had to back down just about every time. Unions can only do so much.

19. AnonymousNovember 15,2023 at 4:33PM UTC

    This happened to me in May. I was a week into FMLA leave for extreme depression. I had been communicating with my Manager in the months prior because it was really effecting me. I had been with the company 8 years. Had great annual reviews up until a couple weeks before my leave started. I had mentioned to them that I was working on the paperwork for this leave. They even put me on a PIP. Again, all of this after 8 great years with them. I contacted a lawyer after the lay-offs (769 other people were involved). They offered severance but it wasn't typical (2 weeks for every year of service). The lawyer advised me not to even bother with discrimination for FMLA. It's nearly impossible to prove with a large layoff. He also warned about asking for more severance as it isn't required for them to offer it. I decided to ask for 4 more weeks. They denied it but still left the original offer on the table. The law is still on the side of the employer. My advice is to not waste money on a lawyer and move on. I will probably always harbor some resentment against this company (for a lot of legit reasons not mentioned here) but, in the end, I'm better off not spending my time making money for people like this.

20. AnonymousNovember 15,2023 at 5:09PM UTC

    I’m not sure I’d bother with the letter as it will fall on deaf ears. Companies don’t care about people, they care about their revenue stream and keeping seats filled. They’ll come up with any excuse in the book but they will NEVER admit to the FMLA being the cause as it’s illegal. You can talk to an attorney on a free consult and explain your situation— a lot of logistics there like size of company, your tenure there, etc but it’s worth it as they may be able to get you a bigger severance, at the very least. Having been through a similar situation recently and I learned the hard way the lengths companies will go to to hide their “misdeeds”. Quickly realized how naïve I was to think they’d actually care about humanity.

21. Tami CannizzaroNovember 15,2023 at 5:55PM UTC

    First, I'm so sorry all of this - the illness and the layoff - are happening to you. One is difficult enough, yet at the same time is a lot to digest.

    I've been laid off too and it's an emotional time. Similar to you, timing was not good for me. Even if you see it coming (and it sounds like you didn't) it's still something that hits like a ton of bricks.

    Give yourself a little time, but not too much. Try not to dwell on this as it's something that happens to most people at least once in their career. Your energy is better spent on you and your family. Better times are ahead.

    Remember that layoffs are not emotional for the company - it's a numbers game. They don't go down a list and choose people by name/circumstance/etc. They look at a list of titles and salaries to make decisions in an effort to trim costs. If they see jobs that could be outsourced in the short term to save money, those positions may be laid off. My point is that we take the layoff as personal. To the company it's a business decision and they have not taken a deep-dive into each person's lives to see what it may affect.

    Sending good thoughts your way as you navigate through this. Remember, better times ahead!

22. AnonymousNovember 15,2023 at 5:55PM UTC

    I was suddenly diagnosed with an aggressive cancer and had to take FMLA immediately. When my disability ran out, the short term disability told me I was fit to go back -- I wasn't. So, I reached out to my job and they took forever to get back to me, only for them to tell me I lost my job. Imagine fighting for your life and surviving the battle, only to have to fight for your livelihood right after. It was legal how they did it, too.

    I was messed up emotionally from that horrific shock and I'm still not over it. I looked at the workforce differently after that. I was literally on my deathbed and then had to somehow muster the physical strength to interview (spoiler alert: I was rejected A LOT). It's inhumane, and I noticed that on applications when they ask about disabilities they include cancer on there, even if you beat it. So I'd be considered a "disability" because I had it in the past. I don't trust that they would hire me fairly if they knew my health background.

    Financially, I wasn't in a great place either. I lost my health insurance and income, making it difficult to pay my bills afterward. I had to change doctors during the remission window of my treatment. I had to go on public assistance for the first time. I felt like a failure. Again, imagine successfully fighting for your life only to get thrown into the unemployment line. I had a bloated face from the chemo and just physically looked... off. So employers were not eager to hire me. I had to get help from my family to survive.

    I hope you and your husband come out the other side without so much trauma. These people in the work force are evil AF. I hate that you're going through this, because this world is cruel.

23. AnonymousNovember 15,2023 at 11:12PM UTC

    That is beyond awful, and I'm so sorry this happened to you. I don't understand how it can be legal, but most of all, I don't understand how these people sleep at night.

24. Balanced372207November 16,2023 at 1:59PM UTC

    Praying for you

25. AnonymousNovember 19,2023 at 6:32PM UTC

    I agree. So sorry for the Catch-22 you and others with cancer and illnesses go through. If you're honest on your application you don't get hired, and if you're not and later have to go on FMLA it's "Oh come on, you're going to be out for the next six weeks?!" Most employers are POS.

26. Cindy GloverNovember 15,2023 at 11:19PM UTC

    I am so sorry for your situation and I’m sending as much love and prayers as I can.

    these ladies have given you so

    much to work with and again, never disappointing on the support we have here. ❤️

27. AnonymousNovember 16,2023 at 1:51PM UTC

    So sorry you're going through this. I don't think it will do any good to reach out to the company to express your thoughts about their decision to include you in the layoff.

28. AnonymousNovember 16,2023 at 1:53PM UTC

    I'm so sorry to hear this. I went thru something similar recently ... took FMLA to care for a sick child, then hit with disciplinary action when I returned to work. I was told I'd be let go in 4 weeks if I didn't "meet their expectations", and I had a critically ill child to tend to, so I just left. Companies just don't care, and it's horrible. Not sure what state you're in, but if you also had PFML check into the rules around that. I'm working with a lawyer now on that angle. Best of luck to you and your husband!

29. AnonymousNovember 19,2023 at 6:25PM UTC

    No they don't, because unfortunately too many of us employees can't afford to fight back. Nobody should get penalized in any way for taking FMLA.

30. AnonymousNovember 16,2023 at 1:54PM UTC

    One thing you can do is write a review of your experiences with this employer on Glassdoor. It's not going to help with your situation but at least it may help you emotionally with the whole situation.

31. AnonymousNovember 16,2023 at 1:55PM UTC

    Been laid off three times. The 2nd time, I was personally very sick on FMLA - came back part time for three weeks (after two months off) working up my stamina and was laid off. Illegal - yes - I did consult legal counsel and the company extended my medical benefits for 6 months and 4x my severance for me not too sue. I don't like the lawyer route, but sometimes it is necessary

32. AnonymousNovember 16,2023 at 1:57PM UTC

    Most companies hate FMLA, and will "get back" at employees who legally use it. Something similar happened to my daughter when she used it to take her father to doctor appointments after he had a series of strokes, but before he went into a nursing home to then die from Covid.

33. AnonymousNovember 22,2023 at 4:39AM UTC

    I'm so sorry. That is terrible.

34. Ginger PetrusNovember 16,2023 at 2:00PM UTC

    I am so sorry to hear this. It breaks my heart. I can relate to being laid off. My husband and I were both laid off (worked for the same company); however, adding a sick spouse is a whole new element. I don’t have any words of wisdom for you, but I will try to be encouraging and tell you that you are an inspiration to me and others. I’ll also pray.

35. AnonymousNovember 16,2023 at 2:01PM UTC

    I had a similar experience. You might want to speak with an attorney because this sounds a little too convenient.

36. Amy GrimshawNovember 16,2023 at 2:01PM UTC

    Not justifying the company here but if the company is doing poorly and does not have work for people they do what it takes to keep the doors open. It’s unfortunate that you’re in this situation and very sad. I’m in management and unfortunately these things happen. Many people get fired for poor performance after taking fmla anyway. Fmla costs the company money, time and loss of work productivity.

37. AnonymousNovember 22,2023 at 4:38AM UTC

    It didn't cost them money because I took unpaid leave. And the whole purpose of FMLA is to protect a person's job.

38. AnonymousNovember 16,2023 at 2:06PM UTC

    Having worked along long time I can say unequally that companies truly do not care,, every decision is based on bottom line numbers and yes they don’t like FMLA for any reason

    Cutting off all coo e ruins is standard practice , I watched employees of 20 years being walked out by security because they were laid off , it’s security don’t take it personal .

    it is harsh reality people at your work may care and understand how horrible this will be for you more stress on top of more stress but. The decisions are never made with individuals in mind just the bottom line, you can certainly express your thoughts to the company but be professional and don’t expect a lot in return.

    I am so sorry about your husband my prayers are with you and he, try to look at it as an opportunity for something g better to come along I also know that’s not easy

    try to find ways to care for yourself , meditation, counseling, exercise, it’s important for you do some self care as well .

39. Balanced372207November 16,2023 at 2:06PM UTC

    Cobra coverage is wildly expensive and always has been. Even moreso now. And it is insulting to suggest that people ask family and friends for money. Most people would do that if they knew their family and friends were financially able and willing to help.

40. Susan Heidi WolmanNovember 16,2023 at 3:23PM UTC

    Get your husband and yourself on State Insurance NOW. You cannot afford to miss a second of health coverage for him.

    apply for benefits - unemployment and food stamps. This is probably not the time for you to look for a job. Call every social worker and agency that you can think of. With each call ask who else you should contact.

    you need medical care, food and shelter and neither you nor your husband can work for it right now. Hurry the holiday season is coming.

41. AnonymousNovember 16,2023 at 4:15PM UTC

    This is great advice. She should look into the state’s health insurance to see what resources are available, before looking into Cobra.

42. AnonymousNovember 17,2023 at 12:45AM UTC

    Yes, this is great advice! Thank you for providing her with information on resources that can help her immediately while she looks at other options for her family. Blessings to you and yours!

43. AnonymousNovember 16,2023 at 3:26PM UTC

    Okay, I know this will be an unpopular opinion, but nothing is black or white.

    The company is struggling, and they have to make some very difficult decisions. Likely, they've made several moves to try to navigate the challenges already. When a mass layoff happens, they're moving their last pawn so to speak. They don't want to ruin lives and they know that losing income affects everyone. They also know that overall this will affect the remaining employee morale. Therefore, although the outcome is personal, it's rarely personal from the company's end. I say rarely because on occasion there is an internal conflict, and someone leverages this situation to put a knife into someone else. All that to say that unless you are in that latter situation or alike, I would not spend the energy to fight this.

    First, look into therapy options through your insurance and get in as many sessions as you can before the plan terms. You need to process and learn some coping techniques during this traumatic time. I would also inquire about referrals or a reduce rate to the therapist to potentially continue past Nov. At the same time, ask your husband's clinical team about referrals and/or support from the social worker. Thirdly, I would start joining cancer focus groups for caretakers. This may be an invaluable resource. Lastly, I would start a GoFund me page. The above is not the solution but hopefully it's something to hold you over while you make bigger moves.

    I am truly sorry you are going through this situation.

44. AnonymousNovember 16,2023 at 3:31PM UTC

    Very sorry for all you are going through. Lean in and focus on your family, friends, faith and church family,

    Similar situation happened twice to me with longterm jobs. Don't waste your time or energy on the things you cannot change. The employer will not care. FMLA is a short term option. Investigate other insurance to sustain your family.

    Praying for you.

45. AnonymousNovember 16,2023 at 3:57PM UTC

    It’s unfortunate but organizations do feel the cost of high utilization of their medical plans. I do not believe the decision was fair, especially that you were under the protection of FMLA… but unfortunately, I don’t think anything can be done because the employer had a bottom line dollar to manage to. Our organization recently laid out open enrollment for 2024 benefits, and they said the costs skyrocketed primarily due to economic reasons, but also high utilization by its employees base in the past. :(

    gather information on all the possible resources available to you, perhaps COBRA would be a good choice for now to bridge the gap to keep consistency for your husband’s cancer battle. Have faith. Prayers for your situation.

46. AnonymousNovember 16,2023 at 5:45PM UTC

    I would get an attorney that is willing to pro bono help you to perhaps up the severance. Alternatively write a letter to leadership and if you have not yet signed your severance documents negotiate for 6 months of cobra on the company dime. If they have any heart at all they will cover those costs for you.

47. AnonymousNovember 16,2023 at 6:33PM UTC

    Best case try to negotiate some months of cobra payments on top of your severance if you can (use the FMLA to your advantage) but as others have said and you know, this was legal so you have little to no recourse but it never hurts to ask them to cover some of your cobra if you can based on your circumstances. I was laid off during pregnancy (high risk) and I was able to get 4 months of paid health benefits to get me to birth. To a company it’s usually minimal costs really but to your family can be $1000s and so worth asking. Best of luck!

48. AnonymousNovember 16,2023 at 7:42PM UTC

    Use the opportunity after expressing the impact it's had to seek extended medical coverage. It's appropriate.

49. Carissa SchneiderNovember 16,2023 at 8:18PM UTC

    I had to learn a similar hard lesson that business always puts business first - no matter what they preach

50. Jonathan MyersNovember 17,2023 at 5:11PM UTC

    The difficult - but important - lesson here is: do not have false loyalty. Companies do not have loyalty to you.

    Once you've dusted yourself off, you may want to look not only at your options through COBRA and Healthcare.gov, but see if there are any associations that may assist. One of my employees had a similar situation with a kidney issue, and was able to get extensive support from a local kidney organization (to the point of paying for a transplant for her husband). It's not assured, but it's worth looking.

51. Ava WestNovember 19,2023 at 1:17AM UTC

    Negotiate the severance for more paid weeks and ask if they will pay for 3 months of Cobra.

52. AnonymousNovember 21,2023 at 3:19PM UTC

    Honestly companies only care about the bottom line, employees are just an expense, contrary to the family kumbaya BS they try to portray. Unfortunately the numbers do not care about what an employee has going on in their personal life. Most likely your direct manager had zero say about it

53. AnonymousNovember 22,2023 at 2:49PM UTC

    Yup. That’s why more people are forming unions. Our workplaces don’t care about us but, if we band together as a group — we become too powerful to ignore.

54. AnonymousNovember 22,2023 at 4:47AM UTC

    Thanks, everyone, for your very helpful comments, suggestions, and support. The whole thing makes me wonder what the point of FMLA is if it doesn't really protect anyone from a job loss.