Feeling anxious about my job and the future.

Feeling anxious about my job and the future. It also doesn’t help that it feels like my manager doesn’t like me.

I’ll start from the beginning. A couple of years ago I applied for a QA technician job at the factory I currently worked at. I applied because I wanted to earn more money and get off the shop floor. It was really tough and stressful because I was thrown into the deep end and the pace of work was really hard to keep up with. Then I managed to get to grips with it and it all fell into place. During my time my manager has been very harsh at me at times. For example when I didn’t have all the paperwork required for an audit she spook to me in private with hatred in her eyes and said she expected all of that paperwork within an hour of me receiving the email. I was still on my probation phase trying to get to grips with the job. The paperwork required was done by someone else who was covering this job before I came onto the scene and it was filed away incorrectly so I had a difficult time finding them. I explained this to her and she wouldn’t have it and she asked me how I handle stress. She made me feel like I was wrong and crap and that she was right and I failed. I’ve always found the job difficult to keep on top of because it’s too much for one person and there used to be two people doing it. I raised this with my upper manager and he said that he can’t justify spending the extra money. So I plod on and at times I felt like I could handle this. Then my boss kept putting more onto me and my job felt stressful to the point I had to go on antidepressants. Then it would settle again but it wouldn’t be long until my boss would demand requests to make my life harder, then I’d get behind on other work, and of course everyone expects it all to be done. I’m currently on holiday and I’m dreading going back. Last week was horrible because she wants me to take on more stuff to do and she keeps drumming into us that this area is my baby and my responsibility. Every time I try to tackle this, deliveries turn up unannounced and I have to check these because if I don’t there is no traceability if something was to go wrong, or the paperwork is required for a future audit. Before I know it, more deliveries are arriving and I can’t do what my boss requires because there isn’t any time. Last week at our team meeting she kept asking me to verify how I do certain parts of my job. I felt like she doesn’t trust me. Then she had a go at me for not noticing that the gate got hit by a lorry even though I wasn’t there at the time because she wanted me to collect samples in a different location! They got rid of security by the way to save money and because I happen to have my desk in the security office, myself and another colleague are expected to let lorries and contractors in and out and to direct visitors to wherever they have to go, which also distracts me from catching up with my work.At the time I didn’t even know it happened because I went straight from collecting the samples to the team meeting. On top of all this I’m only temporary in this job because I’m covering for someone who has cancer. I thought I was going to do this for 6 months but it’s now almost 2 years. This might come to an end soon and I feel anxious about going into the factory in case they give me a really stressful job I’m not good at. And I’m worried about being forced onto night shift when I’ve never worked nights in my life. I’ve looked at other jobs but I don’t know what I want to do or what I’d be good at. If anyone has any good advice to keep me sane and give me hope, it’d be much appreciated.