My boss is considered very difficult in our organization: cold, micro/manager, unreasonable, scattered.

Anonymous

December 21,2023 at 4:05PM UTC

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My boss is considered very difficult in our organization: cold, micro/manager, unreasonable, scattered.

I have navigated and done ok by not seeking validation from her and by actively focusing on her good qualities and strengths. I do learn from her, even though it’s generally a painful experience.

Recently, subordinates and coworkers have been talking openly and publicly about how difficult she is and how they basically have stopped work because dealing with her is so uncomfortable.

I am mentally exhausted and burnt out. I know that a direct conversation with her is the way to go and I’ve tried that by asking questions but there always seems to be some penalty.

I expressed my concerns to our HR leader and she said this is a known issue. Basically: Everyone knows it’s an issue it’s never gonna change.

I’m running interference with my team so that the bulk of it lands on me and not them. What else can I do?

I am not planning to stay at the organization after next year, so I am not letting myself get highly emotionally invested in this situation.

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AnonymousDecember 21,2023 at 5:21PM UTC
Head down plug in in the am and out at 5....let it go. Support your subordinates, and hopefully leadership figures out the harm she is doing to the company and culture. If your plan is to leave, do so with grace and don't get stuck in her mess.
AnonymousDecember 21,2023 at 6:16PM UTC
You just described my former boss up there. It was such a draining, exhausting situation to the point where I ended up quitting. HR knew the whole story, did not acknowledge it and as a result, half department left. It was sad to know they lost many great talents to later fire this woman who was a bag of incompetence.
AnonymousDecember 21,2023 at 6:39PM UTC
If it is accepted by hr and leadership then your hands are tied. Just do your best to work around the issue and don't spend too much time trying to correct her behavior or style because it will not be supported by leadership. HR has confirmed that.
AnonymousDecember 21,2023 at 7:12PM UTC
You've been told and shown in many different ways that this is your reality. Trying to do anything about is a recipe for disaster.
AnonymousDecember 22,2023 at 3:32PM UTC
It sounds like most of the staff has already "quiet quit." It is best for you not to engage in disparaging conversations with them and to focus on doing your job as best you can. Get that resume out, and good luck.
AnonymousDecember 26,2023 at 1:53PM UTC
Sounds like you are way too involved in the juicy drama and are being a martyr. That’s not healthy at all and you do have control over your own behavior. Don’t run interference for anyone, unless you’re on a football team. Do not engage or listen to disparaging conversations about your boss. Though it’s so tempting because it helps prove that you’re right and she’s a jerk and you are long suffering etc. it’s a trap and will not help you in the long run. Take a look at your point of view and see if you can change it to something else. For instance, see yourself as a consummate professional who takes great pride in doing excellent work no matter the different personalities, styles or situations. That will change everything for you. You sound like a lovely and sensible person. Give it a try and have some fun.
Jennifer YeeDecember 26,2023 at 5:38PM UTC
I think a lot of us have been in your situation! I totally feel you. When I was in this situation I meditated for 10 min morning and night and it helped me stay cool and less stressed. I hope you find a new gig ASAP because nothing is ever going to change in your current situation
Daniel EdwardsMarch 13,2026 at 6:34AM UTC
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