Hello FairyGodBossers,

Anonymous

August 12,2023 at 5:26AM UTC

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Hello FairyGodBossers,

I really need some advice on a work situation which I am finding untenable. I know what I have to do in the end, if not NOW, is secure another position.

I've gotten along in a position as a leasing agent which was posed to me at the interview as a mere "24-hour-per-week" job which, in reality, translated to "24 hours spread out over 7 days a week availability." When I found this out after challenging my boss, I said having to be accountable and available 7 days a week was not doable for me, and I needed to quit immediately, as it was not made clear from the get go. She apologized and bargained that I would be "available" 6 days with one day off. (Gee.) So, a part-time person can't get two days off per week, which sounds ridiculous. But I've made it work for almost two years, because I need an income.

In her letter of offer, she said I'd get one week off per year. Last year, I asked for my week off and she said my "week" was only 3 days--I only worked 24 hours. The last time I counted, a week is 7 days. But no, I was part-time and actually wasn't entitled to any time off. After negotiating endlessly, I managed to get her to give me 3 days, plus my one regular day off. But here's the twist: Another part-time Leasing Agent, a guy, hired at the same time as me, got EIGHT days off to my four. I know, because of the company email announcing our times off. I thought maybe I'd made a mistake by not insisting on 7 days and emailed my boss that I'd take my remaining 3 days at another point in the year. She came back at me, again, saying 4 days was "pushing it," and that she and "James" had negotiated different terms for him. BTW, James has only 1 property and I have 3 to handle.

For the record, in fact, importantly--James and I get along just fine--I like him, and have no animosity toward him, whatsoever. We talk and laugh once a week. But the bottom line? To management, James walks on water and I swim in a toilet bowl, as my boss's disparate treatment of us seems to go.

I've worked for well over a year now, and, after watching every other person take vacation time, i.e., a week or longer, asked for mine. I asked for 7 days, UNPAID, even. I'm tired and burned out. She screamed at me on the phone and again, via email, saying this year I had the gall to ask for "even more time than last year," and that I should "rescind the request." What is WRONG with her? She said the timing was off--I had "at least six apartments to rent" -- and this was too busy of a time. I DO have six to rent--but not all at once. In fact, it has been slow; because there is a shortage of maintenance staff, I can only actively rent one or two units, max, at a time, instead of the usual four to five. But I said, fine. I'd request my vacation time at a more appropriate time, if that's what she needed.

BTW, James and I are supposed to cover for each other when we need time off--I covered for his 8 days off last year. He covered for my 3 to 4, where nothing much was happening. I even emailed him with the intended dates I'd be requesting time off for this year before asking my boss, and he said he would be fine covering for me. He wasn't going anywhere for now--BUT--he'd be taking a full week off next March for a family wedding out of state. And, I'm counting on this--there will be no objection from our boss.

I guess my question is--and maybe some of you HR professionals could address this--why is one person automatically granted time off and the other one fought to the ground for requesting a fraction of the other person's? Same jobs, same functions, except I have 3 properties and he has 1. Oh! I left out the most important fact... My boss kept saying that, because I was part time and only worked 24 hours, I was not entitled to seven days off. James only works 16 hours, but gets 7-PLUS days without quibble.

To me, this is gender discrimination. Same jobs, same start date, same... I don't know... time put in. (No--actually, I put in MORE.) I rent my properties promptly and my customers love me. I always look and behave professionally. James dresses sloppily and has had several complaints of being "unbelievably rude." Maybe he rents his units faster than I rent mine, but his are considerably cheaper. The other thing? I have been told that Leasing Agents cannot keep "wait lists," but James DOES--and it's documented--flaunted, even--in emails.

The whole hypocrisy of this company is that we are supposed to treat everyone the same. Why don't they treat their employees equally?

Any comments would be welcome. Thank you!

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AnonymousAugust 12,2023 at 7:01AM UTC
Is there an employee handbook you can reference? Start looking for another job then let the boys know if you can't get better benefits than an employee who works less hours than you, you're gone. Oh, and do it on the Wednesday before James' vacation. Or if the refuses to give in. Then quit on Thursday. There will be a scramble to full your position. Or you could get what you demand. Call your local labor board. Have them advise you. Find out what they suggest.
AnonymousAugust 12,2023 at 10:38PM UTC
Hi Maryann,
Thank you for reading my very long rant, and taking the time to address all the nuances of my situation. At this point, I'm beginning to feel as if I can no longer think clearly as I'm just so upset. That said, first off, great suggestion! I will check the employee handbook I DID read it when first hired, but found it to be very general. But I'll revisit; maybe there's something I missed. To answer another question, I suspect, as you mentioned in the case of "James," that he got "very different" employment terms. I am expected to be available six days per week, with one day completely off, whether I have places to rent, or not. I make my own appointments, as I work remotely and customers call me directly. The problem with the misunderstanding is that she didn't make the terms clear at all in the beginning. I had worked for another property management company years prior to this one, but it was full time and everything was pretty standard. So, this "part-time-all-the-time" role can feel overwhelming and exhausting. But yes, I'm sure you are right about the hours-worked policy. It's just it was never spelled out. I don't know if "James" gets paid for all his time off (he said he didn't know, either!) but, just to be clear, I'd offered to take mine completely UNPAID, so I don't know why she's annoyed. It's been well over a year (I've never called out sick, even during COVID) of steadily working, and I'm just tired.
Finally, no, I am not interested in prolonging this situation; I'm starting to feel physically ill from just thinking about it. A retail wage job that makes me sick is not worth anything. BTW, this woman is easily annoyed. She is the owner's daughter and will inherit the business, once he decides to retire completely. She treats ALL her employees just ghastly (except for maybe "James"), even though they keep the business running for her so that SHE can take all the time off she wants.
I'm just feeling devalued and unappreciated, even though I rent her apartments very quickly and people love dealing with me. That said, I'm done apologizing to her. She doesn't deserve one, in my opinion.
I think I'll just go back to working for myself, which I had for 20+ years. I've even thought about perhaps becoming an independent broker, since I actually like the work and enjoy helping people. And, that way, if I don't like working with a particular property management company, I wouldn't have to deal with them.
Again, thank you taking the time to help me out with your knowledge and clarity and honesty.
RebeccaAugust 13,2023 at 12:40PM UTC
This is ridiculous, I’m so sorry. You sound great at what you do so I’m assuming recruiters are contacting you. Just quit on the spot - it’s clear they need you more than you need them!
AnonymousAugust 13,2023 at 11:12PM UTC
Hi Rebecca,
Thank you for your kind words and support. I'm really feeling much better about myself after reading your response. I really DO give 110% and consider myself a true professional. Recruiters, unfortunately, are not contacting me, because on Linkedin.com, I'm still positioned as my previous role--Sr. Marketing Copywriter. So, my plan is to contact all the property management firms around me that I would like to work for. I think I would actually have more luck that way. I really like the duties of the job; I would be very happy if my boss were easier to work with, and if I could just get my vacation time. But not with THIS company...
AnonymousAugust 13,2023 at 2:05PM UTC
This is favoritism at its extreme. I’ve received similar treatment but this sounds bad. We are humans and no matter how many handbooks there are, people will act their own way. Not everyone is moral upright and doing the right thing.
I would have a heart to heart with your boss. Not just incidental email exchanges and lay out your POV and frustrations. He or she may not even realize how this is affecting you.
after that if things go south and there is no improvement, tell him or her, you are leaving. Better yet, don’t announce, just do it.
AnonymousAugust 13,2023 at 11:06PM UTC
Thank you, thank you. I so appreciate your empathy and support. The worst thing is, this is woman (boss) "punishing" woman. Although--and I do have to make this distinction--I've been told she speaks to all employees in a most cringe-worthy manner. I don't know why they stay. Many have been with this company for YEARS. I don't get it.
AnonymousAugust 13,2023 at 4:33PM UTC
Bottom line is you accept the pushing around and haven't quit so you are getting what the manager knows you'll accept.
AnonymousAugust 13,2023 at 11:01PM UTC
Absolutely right. Stupid ME.
AnonymousAugust 14,2023 at 1:10AM UTC
It doesn't have to be this way. If you don't feel like you can stand up publicly, go to HR, another manager or leader with your experience.
AnonymousAugust 15,2023 at 2:17AM UTC
Ah, that's the problem. There IS no HR--it's a small, family owned company. My boss is the daughter of the family owned tradition and will inherit this company when Daddy retires or passes. She's a spoiled, entitled b*tch who is used to treating her employees like dirt and no one leaves. And guess what? She comes from an HR background (or so she claims.) Worse still? She's married to a lawyer. Game over.
AnonymousAugust 15,2023 at 11:14AM UTC
You have recognized what you need to do. You've stayed there for way too long and allowed the behavior to go on for way too long. Set boundaries, stick to them, and start looking for other jobs immediately.
AnonymousAugust 15,2023 at 12:32PM UTC
Wow, is there any area of your life that you do stand up? Game over when you say game over. Period
AnonymousAugust 13,2023 at 5:37PM UTC
I'm not sure it is necessarily gender discrimination but it is unfair and irregular treatment. If you both have the same role and do the same thing and were hired the same to do the same role then you should make a formal complaint to the EEOC. The company is required to respond to their investigation and you may be due and owed back wages. Share with them the details of the misalignment and the documents you have. Don't make it about the bevahior of the boss so much as the fact that you are the same and you are getting less for it. They will help you sort it out.
AnonymousAugust 13,2023 at 11:00PM UTC
Thank you so much! I appreciate your great advice and, above all, your support.
AnonymousAugust 13,2023 at 11:20PM UTC
Thank you. I worked for myself for at least 20 years as an advertising/marketing copywriter and loved it. (I'm a "natural" at it.) But COVID reduced opportunities (and company budgets) and, I will admit, it's an industry for "youngin's." I'm also working on a new career as an interior stylist, as I love this, too. But I thought, in the meantime, I could make a living by branching out to something different. But not at the price of this ridiculous stress. I thought about getting licensed as an independent broker, but am not sure it would be for me. Continued good luck to you in your career!
GirlBossanova934974August 14,2023 at 12:55PM UTC
As a commercial property owner myself, I just do NOT understand this. So some apartment management company does NOT want to pay for a full time employee to handle 3 properties. Cheap-skates to put it lightly. Then they go out and hire a 2nd part employee to handle another property to save some more money. Then they put both part time employees on notice they have to cover 40 hours of responsibility but only get paid for part of those hours? What the "you know what"? AT THE VERY LEAST, they should assign both employees to the 4 properties and have 1 employee cover the 4 properties for 3 days per week and the other employee cover the other 3 days per week. No more on the clock but not on the clock IF the State Labor people found out about this one, it's lights out for this company. Back wages, fines, penalties, and who knows what? Are they just plain crazy? Where do they find these people? Right out of the turnip truck?
AnonymousAugust 14,2023 at 1:54PM UTC
It’s not gender discrimination. You set the bar when you didn’t hold them to the 24 hours. If you work more than 24 hours you should be getting paid for it. You should be getting a token stipend for on-call plus pay for actual work performed during in-call hours. Likely the on-call is your supervisor’s responsibility and she’s passed it off to you. You know what you have to do, but for the next job, change your behavior.
AnonymousAugust 15,2023 at 11:12AM UTC
So it's her fault bc she accepted a s***** job offer and where they have been playing her since jump street?? Give me a break. Clearly she has been trying to advocate for her needs for a while now, to no avail, and now needs to just get out of there. It's apparent she's recognized that.
EMILY KIKUE FRANKAugust 14,2023 at 2:53PM UTC
Yep, your boss is sexist even though she's a woman. This is a thing that happens often to women (and trans folks, BTW) and it stinks. Document EVERYTHING, including the hours you actually work, the hours you're on call, times your boss yells at you, compliments from custimers, etc. You may not have a case, but at least you'll have records.
And start looking. This is unsustainable. When you find something new, read the contract carefully and ask questions before you accept. Then set firm boundaries from day 1.
Karen PatwaAugust 14,2023 at 4:43PM UTC
This could be favoritism and it could be gender discrimination, without more context, it is impossible to say. However, it definitely seems like you are being taken advantage of. You could definitely take action around it, if you so choose.
I wouldn't put too much faith into a one-on-one with your manager; it's clear she has been treating you both differently repeatedly, and tries to use intimidation to do it. it's likely she knows what she is doing and also likely it's intentional. And before you talk to anyone else, make sure they aren't all in it together. Managers intimidate who they can intimidate, and it's not ok. This Is not your fault, but it benefits you to recognize the behaviors that are enabling them in your end.
If you want to leave anyway, there are ways to document the mistreatment and complain if you want to go that route. Don't expect HR to fix it, but you still need to document it and complain as part of that process) and seek back pay/severance if your documentation is good enough, before you even needed to go to the EEOC. Might be an option you want to look into depending on your situation.
Marcia SmithAugust 14,2023 at 5:24PM UTC
There is a lot to unpack here - but let me just say that I will not accept any job that does not have at least a 4 week PAID PTO policy. Anything less is just in line with what is normally offered.
If you boss is yelling at you and having fits about you needing this very minimal time off - she does not care about you at all. So - stop expecting her to.
Time to go - find another job and get out as soon as you can. This situation will never get any better and only harm your mental health and self-confidence more.
You deserve better - MUCH better!
ElizabethAugust 14,2023 at 5:56PM UTC
It sounds like they like James better. Maybe he's more charismatic because it's not based on talent, that's for sure. Maybe the way to get what you want is too schmooze the boss. If it were based on talent, you'd be a shoein. I'd say if that's not feasible for you, you could find another job with ease. Everyone's always looking for talented leasing agents. Given your experience and metrics accomplished, you can easily find another job that will treat you better because you'll negotiate right of the bat with them.
Lisa MarieAugust 15,2023 at 12:37AM UTC
Hello Anonymous Leasing Agent,
Please update both your resume and LinkedIn, turn on OPEN TO WORK in your profile settings (you don't have to add the corresponding picture banner at all), and soon LinkedIn recruiters will come knocking at your door. Additonally, do as you stated you would, and also reach solicit the other management companies you know about.
You definitely need to remedy that wotk situation as soon as possible. Because the bottom-line is, whether or not another employee "negotiates" more time off from work, denying unpaid time off, during a slow season, and you have a task-buddy to actively cover your workload, is just plain mean.
Your boss doesn't seem to be treating all staff equitably, so it is time to gather your toys and graciously leave that unfair sandbox.
Good luck with finding your next best opportunity, where your boss is fair.
Cher GoodchildAugust 15,2023 at 1:05PM UTC
WOW! I'm sending all of the good energy I've got to that place in time when you're looking back on this, thankful to be rid of it.
AnonymousAugust 15,2023 at 3:04PM UTC
If you are in the US, and you have good records of when you worked, you may have a wage and hour case. Those are handled by a government agency that works for you for free. You may also have a gender discrimination case since the favoritism involves a male. Those are review by the civil rights commission, but they only go back six months so you would need a specific incident with in the past six months. Given the current employment market, you likely can find something else, so now would be a good time to look. When you are looking for your next job, you might consider a larger employer, because they tend to try harder to stay on the right side of the law, since their deeper pockets make them bigger targets for lawsuit. Healthcare organizations are so desperate for nurses that they end up treating most of their staff halfway decent .
Your boss is a bully, and there’s no point in negotiating with a bully. fairness and reciprocity are not in their vocabulary and exploitation and power plays are their currency. Bullies have a sixth sense when it comes to sniffing out their victims, and for some reason you subconsciously sent all of those signals and your male counterpart did not. This is not your fault, we are all wired differently. The first step is accepting that your boss is playing by bully rules, and you are not, so you will never see eye to eye on issues of fair play. Good luck with this, you will emerge stronger and wiser.
AnonymousAugust 15,2023 at 11:16PM UTC
Thank you so much. I've never liked small, family owned businesses, because they tend to get away with a lot that larger companies never would. Very much like a small landlord renting out a unit in a private home, as opposed to a larger apartment complex.
You are quite right about the bully personality and the imbalance. "James" gives it right back and, so, he is respected. Not that I haven't (I have absolutely REFUSED to agree to a lie about me, which she has tried to get me to do a few times), but probably without the thunder "James" has exhibited.In an effort to be professional, I've probably come off as wimpy. And yes, we ARE all wired differently. It's such a shame some of us are punished for it.
BTW, your writing is exceptional. I hope you do it for a living. It's what I USED to do!
AnonymousAugust 16,2023 at 12:25AM UTC
Hello,
I just want to thank all of you for your great comments/advice and, above all, support. I presented my situation in such a long format, but wanted to paint a clear picture of my situation. However, I probably left out some key things.
Number 1: I am paid 24 hours per week, every week, even if I have worked the full 24 hours. Sometimes, when it is slow, I can work as little as 7 or 10 hours per week, but still get paid. (Just trying to be fair to them.)
Number 2: The scary thing is I rent my apartment from these people. As part of my "benefits," I get $500 off my rent each month. That's considered part of my compensation package. But they/she are my landlords and can probably kick me out at any time, for any reason. I have seen them fire maintenance staff and make them homeless, too. A requirement to work for them is that you live onsite. I have lived in my apartment for 31 years. I'm not too worried about them giving me the heave ho, because my status was "tenant" before employee.However, the maintenance workers are "off the street," and given apartments when they start their jobs, or soon after. So the apartment is taken away when they are fired. I would think they would offer them the chance to simply rent their apartments at market price, but they probably figure they will be a "bad influence" on the residents. Who knows?
The whole thing is, I thought this opportunity would be ideal for an older woman collecting social security and trying to succeed as a freelance copywriter-- but still needing an income. Plus, the $500 discount on my rent helps my budget tremendously. The benefit to THEM was my longevity with them; I "knew the ropes" and telling prospects how long I've been in my place (I tell them 20 years to avoid being "old") would be a strong selling point (it is). So, it all seemed like a win-win that Suze Orman would have applauded. It made good sense!
But the terms were all too nebulous. They never said 24 hours a week with a 7-day-per week availability. They never said I could work 1 hour one day and 6 hours another, or be paid for not working AT ALL, if all my places were rented. Conversely, I KNOW I worked at least 40 hours per week in the beginning with no days off at all, because I had 9 to 11 apartments to rent. So, it was an all-or-nothing workload.
When the realization that I was basically expected to be "on call" 7 days per week hit me, I became horrified and told my boss I couldn't work with that sort of commitment. I had a freelance writing biz, and I needed time for that, as well. She apologized for the lack of clarity (honesty) and offered me one day off--but I still had to answer emails. ???!!! Sadly, I accepted that deal.
The other thing is, most of their employees never leave! In fact, I was replacing a man who did the job for 18 years. I became a casual acquaintance of his, and can only say he never seemed stressed or angry. I would laugh and tell him I wanted his job. He never gave me any warnings or said, "DON'T."
Ladies, apologies again for the length of this! I am totally grateful for all of your thoughts and suggestions. But, I have I've come to the conclusion that I must do what a lot of us FGBers end up doing to change an untenable situation: quickly and quietly looking for another job and just remaining a professional while doing the one I've got. I won't rock the boat or give rise to suspicion. (As one of you said, "Don't announce it; just DO it.")
Thank you, all!