How long did it take to realize that a job/position at a company is not for you?

40 Comments

1. Megan LeasherAugust 28,2023 at 2:09PM UTC

   I've been in your situation a few times and the feeling of job fit has always come a bit later in those moments for me. I hope it does for you too!

2. AnonymousAugust 28,2023 at 2:16PM UTC

   I gave it 8 weeks then I had to admit it. Took me 4 more weeks to land my current job. I am sooooo much happier. ....

3. AnonymousAugust 28,2023 at 3:47PM UTC

   When you know you know. It's not the same for all.

4. AnonymousAugust 28,2023 at 5:58PM UTC

   The one time I realized I’d made a mistake taking one offer over another, I knew it within two weeks.

   Start looking immediately - as long as this isn’t a pattern, looking for the right fit isn’t a bid thing.

5. AnonymousAugust 28,2023 at 9:36PM UTC

   Too long! I have had two positions where I really should have realized right away that it wasn't the right job for me, but I am not one to admit defeat easily and see it as a challenge to be overcome. I'm stubborn, and I've paid for it.

6. AnonymousAugust 29,2023 at 11:09AM UTC

   OP: That was me in the past.I stated for 5 years.I'm slowly recognizing the signs for this new role. I don't want to give up easily but at the same time I know what it can do to me overtime.

7. AnonymousAugust 29,2023 at 1:21PM UTC

   Been there done that and it took a toll on my health.

8. Katheryn MAugust 29,2023 at 12:40PM UTC

   I think 5 weeks may not be enough time unless there are some pretty severe cases of toxicity, bullying, poor management, bad communication, etc... I do think you can get a sense quickly of whether you will like a job or not but a lot of times it can take a long time (6 months, even a year) to get acclimated and feel confident and comfortable. A lot of times the cons can come out quickly and it may take longer to find the pros. But if it's not right for you, it's not right.

9. AnonymousAugust 29,2023 at 1:19PM UTC

   Depends upon the situation. I once started a new job and knew from day 1 it was not a good fit.

   I stayed 2.5 years and was bullied non stop. I went on disability due to the stress and never returned.

   So sometimes you can overstay when you should have exited sooner….

10. AnonymousAugust 29,2023 at 12:41PM UTC

    A week tbh. I quit a year later. I stuck it out because I was at the company for 5 years and loved the company and the people but taking the new role was a mistake for me. But more loved the role hated my boss and I got bullied so a little different situation.

11. AnonymousAugust 29,2023 at 1:11PM UTC

    A week and 3 days I had to quit and have no remorse.

    It’s not something I will add to my resume and don’t care.

    From day one the manager was timing my bathroom breaks. One day I had just got up to go and immediately returned to my desk.She said she passed by my desk and I was not there and wanted to know where I was.

    She would stand over me and always wanted me sitting close to her in her office.

    I had received my badge to enter the building and she insisted I stay downstairs until I let her know I had arrived and she would come and get me. Sometimes I waited 10-15 min for her and she expected me to work 8 hours from the time she came to get me. Even though I had arrived 15 min prior.

    After that incident I stopped waiting and badged in and went to my desk.

    I need my distance and don’t want people in my face. Covid is still a thing.She was condescending and couldn’t see myself being there reporting to her long term.It was a bad situation and I was stressed out and had to go to urgent care.

12. AnonymousAugust 29,2023 at 1:17PM UTC

    Was in your exact same position recently- took a job during the pandemic. Lovely people and liked my boss but knew first month that I wasn’t a good fit. Stayed with the company almost 3 years because I didn’t want to give up but being in a position that was a struggle took its toll on my stress level. I left that job and found a new one. Knew day one that it felt right for me. Trust your gut on this one.

13. Sarah BordersAugust 29,2023 at 1:22PM UTC

    The shortest time I’ve ever been in a role before moving on to the next one was 10 months. The role was sold to me as one job in the interview, and it turned out to be two jobs crammed into one, essentially. I’m pretty sure I knew it was not the right fit within the first 90 days, but I wanted to stay with the employer, so I networked internally and kept my eye out for new opportunities.

    Since you like the company, you could start looking internally, but a lot of places have an embargo on internal movements—six months to one year, typically. First things first, I’d find out what the policies are.

    Is your boss super supportive of your career development? If so, you can talk to them candidly about your desire to work in a different area at the company, and you don’t have to paint it as, “I’m miserable, and I want to move on,” but rather, “I’ve discovered I have an affinity/interest/talent in this other area, and I’d like to be in a role where I can nurture it and grow my experience.”

    mid you don’t see a path for movement anywhere in the company, then it’s probably time to look externally. Good luck!

14. GirlBossanova934974August 29,2023 at 1:31PM UTC

    3 points I would make: 1) 5 weeks is way too short of time to figure out if the position is a good fit for you. 2) In many cases, a job is what you make of it. IF you are ambitious, you should be using your time to meet and get to know a large group of people in the company. Get on their radar. When a great project or assignment comes up, your name will be out there. 3) Training, educational, and NEW project opportunities. 15 years ago, I signed up with this outfit. The job was pretty good. No complaints. BUT all of a sudden after 4 months on the job, the VP of Marketing tells me he has a great opportunity for me. ONE of our prized tech folks had walked out the door for a $25K raise. IF I want to take over that job, the job was mine AND here's a $4,000 bonus check to start! INTERESTED? Heck! The skills I picked up from that new project were worth $20K/year to my existing salary on the open market. Seize the opportunity!

15. AnonymousAugust 30,2023 at 10:11PM UTC

    Respectfully disagree. Depending upon the job and situation it don’t take a long time to figure out if it is a good fit or not.

16. EMILY KIKUE FRANKAugust 29,2023 at 1:51PM UTC

    I always tell my clients to give it 3 months before assessing fit. Settling in takes time.

17. AnonymousAugust 29,2023 at 2:10PM UTC

    Unfortunately, I have always recognized a fit problem within the first two weeks. I don't give up easily either and have always muddled through and tried to do my best for at least 3 months before starting to search job offers.

18. AnonymousAugust 29,2023 at 2:28PM UTC

    Definitely in this situation. I knew in the first 2 weeks that this job wasn't for me, when I seen the toxicity, & how spiteful my manager can be. Sometimes its not about giving up its about finding better. I would suggest applying immediately to other roles. Or 1st step can be applying internally although most companies have a waiting period before you can do so.

19. AnonymousAugust 29,2023 at 2:46PM UTC

    I had a gut feeling at an interview that it wasn't right for me, but they offered me a job on the spot and I took it because I needed money. I was trained (poorly) for about a month then left increasingly on my own to figure stuff out. Overall, I was there for about seven weeks. I would say right about the time I was mostly on my own I started to realize the company I worked for was a hot mess and I literally could not do my job properly because of it, and there was no hope for change because the owner was too stubborn to change anything.

    Something major happened one week that pushed me over the edge of "I can tough this out until something better comes along" and I just walked in one morning, wrote my resignation letter, and left. I usually try to perserve through tough times, but it was something that happened that I would just not tolerate under ANY situation.

    I have not regretted it at all, even if money is super tight now.

    For you (and everyone), I would revisit your own personal boundaries. If something happens that crosses your boundary of "I cannot tolerate this any longer, this is my limit", then walk away. You'll be much better for it.

20. Marcia SmithAugust 29,2023 at 3:23PM UTC

    I totally agree! Your mental health, boundaries, and ethics/morals are worth WAY more than any job every will be. Kudos to you for staying true to yourself - and I think that this was part of being "tough". Stay proud and strong!!!

21. Marcia SmithAugust 29,2023 at 3:20PM UTC

    Usually, I know within 3 months if the job will last long-term or not. By then, supervisors and team members have started showing their "true colors" and I have a good idea what the job really entails. It is OK if you don't feel like it is a good fit - better to look for a job that you love than to stay in one that you don't like.

22. AnonymousAugust 29,2023 at 3:36PM UTC

    I once quit a job on the 10th day. I called the manager from the parking lot and told them I was on my way up to return their laptop, best decision I ever made. When it's wrong why invest yourself further especially since your career should be controlled by you. Now I am not saying to up and quit if that is something you cannot do but definitely start to look again, and when asked share that it just wasn't working.

23. AnonymousAugust 29,2023 at 3:44PM UTC

    I knew during my 90 day period that my job was not a great fit. Lots of personalities that were abrasive and rude.

    I stuck it out for a whole year. On the day of my one year anniversary I had a terrible day with one of those difficult personalities.

    I went home that day and applied for jobs and had a great interview that week.

    I’m working my notice and counting the days. My mental health was really suffering.

24. AnonymousAugust 29,2023 at 4:21PM UTC

    OP- Congratulations!! I'm happy that you found a new opportunity.Over all health comes first

25. AleshaAugust 29,2023 at 4:38PM UTC

    One day! The company was not a good fit at all and the entire was finance group was contract because they couldn't find employees. We started at 8am and ended the day at 11pm. It was awful. My hours were worse than public accounting!

    I would say if this company is good and the people are great, I would give it time - maybe you could move to a better fitting position within the company?

26. AnonymousAugust 29,2023 at 5:54PM UTC

    It took me all of two months. It’s almost been a year now and I am so desperate to be promoted to a new position within the same company or to find a different company to work for all together. There is very limited opportunities for mobility at my current company and although we have great medical benefits and a pension, I can barely meet all the bills I’ve accumulated and have no savings account. Please keep me in your thoughts and release good vibrations to help me get to whatever God has in store for me quickly. Thank you for your time.

27. AnonymousAugust 29,2023 at 6:42PM UTC

    Much depends on your specific circumstances and why you are asking the question. If you feel it's wrong, there is nothing wrong with starting to look again. When you find something else, your new job could have either corrected itself, or you know you don't want it anymore.

    If your mental or physical health is at stake, that is a different story as the situation becomes more urgent. It is not wise to quit a job without something else lined up unless you are financially secure without a job (and most of us aren't).

    If all you are asking is how long it takes you to know, I would suggest that the 90-day probation mark is a key indicator, and you are less than halfway there. If you still feel the same way then it will likely not get better.

28. Maggie StoneAugust 29,2023 at 6:45PM UTC

    For me, I have always begun to have questions during the first 90 days if it’s not for me.

29. Audrey KirschAugust 29,2023 at 9:39PM UTC

    A couple of times I took positions as a front office assistant / receptionist. I had been looking awhile and needed the money. I knew almost right away that the position was a bad fit but stuck it out because the work environment was good and the co-workers were great. Eventually I just self-sabotaged myself right out of the position because the work was so boring. If you don't think the job will ever be the right fit, you should start looking elsewhere. Trust your instincts. It's really hard to make something work once you've got the idea that something is wrong.

30. AnonymousSeptember 3,2023 at 6:15PM UTC

    Self sabotage! I've done that in past jobs where my whole mind and body didn't want to be there. Fully agree that once you have that idea that it's not right, it's pretty much not going to work out.

31. AnonymousAugust 29,2023 at 9:45PM UTC

    I quit a job after 3 weeks. I was unemployed and unsure of the company, but I figured it was worth a shot to be back on staff as a salaried employee. The moment I was in, the boss immediately made big changes to my role and responsibilities. Ummmm.... I negotiated my salary based on what we agreed to. When I told him I was leaving that day, he begged me for 2 more weeks because "this will make me look bad". I hope it did.

32. Heather (she/her)August 30,2023 at 9:12AM UTC

    For me, I think it was around three months. It's common for people to feel unsettled or not secure in the first few months as you get your feet under you in the new role. You have to learn a new team, new processes, etc. and it can feel less than great. I hope this five weeks is just your settling in period, and that things start to feel better for you soon.

    That being said, if you're really unhappy, you can always start seeing what else is out there.

33. MislynAugust 30,2023 at 10:55AM UTC

    Just a matter of months. I thought my boss was a nice guy after a few months in I started seeing major red flags. Very toxic work environment that also got worse. If you feel like you don’t fit in find a new job.

34. AnonymousAugust 30,2023 at 11:35AM UTC

    OP-Thank you so much for posting your experiences.In the 5 weeks I've seen a lack of work life balance within the group. I've been through that experience in the past and it was difficult on me physically and mentally.I'm a bit thrown off when I hear them saying work life integration.Also, some of the responsibilities are different from the job description.There's also don't see any room for growth on the team. I plan to make it to the year?

35. AnonymousAugust 30,2023 at 12:49PM UTC

    Your intuition and instincts have already raised the internal alarms for you - And you have already taken the position to ignore them by stating "I won't just give up easily. Never have and never will"...Seems like you've come to your own conclusion so not sure what you're looking for from this open forum...???

36. AnonymousAugust 30,2023 at 1:37PM UTC

    If you're already asking the question, I think you have your answer. I was there recently - I took a job offer despite some major red flags and within a month my mental and even physical health were suffering badly. What will it take to "give up"? Walking away from a job that is not a good fit is not a bad thing.

37. AnonymousAugust 31,2023 at 12:27AM UTC

    Trust your instincts. Your subconscious thoughts are telling. Also check in at milestones of 60, 90, 180 days and 1 year into the job on the return of your investment in the role.

    My instincts told me about 2 weeks into a previous job that something was amiss. On the first day I noticed company had a high turnover rate. At 30 days, I was in a one-on-one meeting with my boss when they changed the subject to become a confrontation about their problems with me. While I nearly lost my job at day 30, I was written up instead. A week later, I was called into an impromptu meeting where I was berated for poor performance. I knew then I would not pass the 90 day probation and began looking out for myself. A week before the end of probation, I gave my notice, having accepted a new opportunity. Was let go the day after, a first in 18 years industry experience.

38. Liz MilneAugust 31,2023 at 2:54PM UTC

    5 weeks is too early for me, especially if the job is good.

    (I have left one job after a few hours because the 10-hour per week contract had already turned into 15-hours per week at the interview, and then became '25+ hours a week with the expectation of up to 40 hours or more' during onboarding. I was doing a full-time PhD, teaching and freelance writing at the time, I could barely spare the 10 hours, never mind the 15!)

    But if I like the job and the conditions are as promised, I would give it at least six months, and hope to feel settled in anywhere from 3 months onwards?

39. AnonymousSeptember 3,2023 at 9:45AM UTC

    I usually give it at the least 90 days, I evaluate the company just like they evaluate me during their 90 day probationary period.

40. athena slatonSeptember 4,2023 at 7:36PM UTC

    I am a strong believer, in keeping my eyes open and paying attention to my body and how everyone behaves.Because a job can make you physically sick. if it does not feel like a good fit then start applying immediately other roles which will be a good fit. I would at least give it the 90 days probationary period ( or however long it is) to see, because people's true colors become exposed around that time , ( sometimes sooner if you have a high sense of discernment) . Also remember its not giving up if it isn't a good fit for you its finding something better.