how do you walk away with pride and professionalism?

25 Comments

1. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistSeptember 6,2023 at 8:13AM UTC

   Dear Soon To Be Ex-boss:

   Please accept this as my written notice of resignation effective September x, 2023. Thank you for the opportunity.

   Signed,

   Happy Anoymous

   cc: Human Resources

2. Marcia SmithSeptember 8,2023 at 1:16PM UTC

   I wish I could give this 10 stars and a few extra upvotes! :)

3. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistSeptember 8,2023 at 5:31PM UTC

   LOL! Thank you, Marcia - you made my day ;o)

4. Marcia SmithSeptember 8,2023 at 10:46PM UTC

   :)

5. AnonymousSeptember 6,2023 at 12:47PM UTC

   I hate to be the one that tells you, but your boss will not care. You dont have to say anything. You can just not show up for work if you choose to. If you dont care about burning this bridge, You can set up several meetings for others and leave them hanging. You can send out delayed emails and let everyone know you have left the company. You do what you need to do. If HR contacts you tell them that you left because you believed he was harassing you.

6. Jessica FerlandSeptember 6,2023 at 1:22PM UTC

   I was in a similar situation and decided to quit. It is not in my personality or work ethic to quit without something else lined up, but I had to for my own sanity. Some recommendations:

   · Set up a meeting with HR to let them know about the issues with your manager. If you are not alone, encourage others to do the same. One report could be a one-off, multiple reports are a trend.

   · During this meeting, ask HR what your options are if you quit to get a sense of if they will contest unemployment benefits. You will have a case for unemployment benefits given the hostile work environment, but always easier if you can get that in writing from HR

   · Email your resignation letter to your manager and cc HR

   · Work out your two weeks notice with your best effort, setting up the team for success in your transition. In other words, take the high road. Meanwhile, expect the possibility that they will not require 2 weeks notice and ask you to leave immediately, that is ok.

   · Treat looking for a job like a job, network, etc.

   · Look into benefits that are available while you are unemployed

7. Grisel Scarantino, Career and Work-Life Fulfillment CoachSeptember 6,2023 at 4:06PM UTC

   This breaks my heart. Bad leaders don’t realize how much they negatively affect people’s lives and I always wonder how they made it into a position of being a people leader when they have terrible social skills. You can submit your resignation via email with a CC to HR. You don’t have to include any details in it except to say that you are resigning from your position, and when your last day will be. Check your company’s resignation policy to make sure you comply with whatever is listed there to ensure you get your PTO payout (if any) and that you leave in good standing. In your resignation letter, be thankful for the opportunity to grow and provide value to the organization. Short and simple, that’s all you need. HR may want to complete an exit interview with you on your last day. I’d share the truth with them and then move on to the next chapter in your professional story.

8. MislynSeptember 6,2023 at 4:52PM UTC

   You don’t have to go in details just simple say it’s not a right fit for you. Being mistreated and miserable at work play a big part in your mental health. Don’t let yourself get to the point to where you are affected. I suffered from almost a type of paranoia after an extremely bad work environment. I constantly felt like my every move was being watched.I couldn’t do anything or say anything without having the feeling my boss would find out and it was things that didn’t even matter most the time. I stopped talking to other employees even. I still suffer today but I’m getting better. You have to do what is best for you and don’t care what your boss thinks about you leaving.

9. AnonymousSeptember 7,2023 at 1:10PM UTC

   Just leave. Don't even give notice, or give it retroactively via email on your last day. YOU decide when that will be, take control of your future and end the toxic experience on your terms.

10. Sarah BordersSeptember 8,2023 at 12:23PM UTC

    Good for you for getting out of there! If it were me, I would tell my boss (via email if you have to, but try over the phone first if he simply won’t meet with you) that I’m leaving to pursue other opportunities, and I would be as honest as I like with HR during the exit interview.

11. Marcia SmithSeptember 8,2023 at 1:12PM UTC

    I am in the very same situation and have been looking for work for just over 2 months. I also see a therapist regularly because my boss has had a detrimental effect on my mental health. I am not going to say anything when I leave. I considered saying something to the Executive Director and HR manager - but it is clear to me now that they do not care about the staff the way that they say they do - AND - I personally think it would be impossible for them not to know how toxic my boss is.

    If you say something negative, it could only hurt you in the future - because you can be sure that your toxic boss will want retribution. Know that you are worthy and deserve a job where you are respected and treated with respect. Just leave and shake the dust of your sandals when you do. They don't deserve a great person like you - but a good and caring manager is out there somewhere waiting for you....

    You should resign via email - and keep it short...just the basics - you resign, your last day...period.

12. AnonymousSeptember 8,2023 at 1:29PM UTC

    We just have very different styles, and it's not a good fit?

    There's a difference between managerial style and not being a good manager.

    You should tell all in the exit interview. He needs to be removed.

13. Michelle NesterSeptember 8,2023 at 1:59PM UTC

    I was in a very similar position until about 2 months ago. The environment had become toxic and I was taking that home to my family. My boss was rarely in the office. So, I left a copy of my resignation on his desk and emailed a pdf of it to him, so I knew he wouldn't miss it. He didn't bother with a face to face when it came time for my exit interview and was very condescending when we did speak about it, via Zoom. I contemplated what to tell HR, and while I did confide in a close friend in HR the reasoning, during my exit interview I was not forthcoming. I was afraid to burn the bridge. However, now that I have left, two other people on the team have left because of the same manager.

    You have to look out for you. It doesn't sound like your manager is going to. I would send the resignation via email and then if he wants a meeting to discuss it, keep it professional, not about him, just time to make a change.

14. AnonymousSeptember 8,2023 at 2:35PM UTC

    I’m sorry to have gone through this. I know this can be difficult, but there is good experience in this and a solid mental reminder that your mental and physical health are one and the same and that you have to do what's best for you.

    Generate all options and keep professional above all! Remove the feeling of what you want to do in this situation and have a clear plan for resignation and approach. You'll thank yourself later, as they will have no issue throwing you under the bus the minute you show any emotion or disrespect that can trip you up for the next job.

15. AnonymousSeptember 8,2023 at 2:49PM UTC

    I've been there, and there is no more incredible feeling than getting that offer at your next job. All of the former stuff will melt away (unless your new environment is as toxic as the last). When it happened to me, all my boss wanted to know was how much the offer was. (I don't think he wanted to counter-offer; he was nosy). I had resigned because I was being offered a growth opportunity that didn't exist where I was (which was confirmed by the director of the department). It's time to move on. Your mental health isn't worth this type of treatment.

    As for in-person or email, I always go for in-person. That way, you know they have it, and they have the opportunity to ask any questions if they don't understand. Don't schedule a meeting. Type it up, giving only the minimal information - the length of notice you're giving and your expected last day. Thank the company for the experience you gained while there (even if it was minimal), and that's it. You don't have to give a reason or tell them where you are going. If they ask, provide a broad generalization: You are going somewhere with growth opportunities at a company where your talents and experience are valued. That gets the point across without pointing fingers at anyone in particular. You can hand it to him by walking into his office, or when you pass in the hallway, it doesn't matter. You can give it to him and keep moving—no need for public drama. Copies sent by email are acceptable for your boss's boss and HR but should be sent after you have given your boss the document in person.

16. AnonymousSeptember 8,2023 at 4:08PM UTC

    I feel this!!! I just wen through this with a similar leader. Nothing I did was good enough and I felt like I didn’t fit in.

    I found another job and put in a three week notice. I worked all my shifts and remained upbeat. I walked away feeling good and on good terms.

    Walking away was such a relief and I’m glad that I did it with professionalism. I start my new job next week.

17. AnonymousSeptember 8,2023 at 5:10PM UTC

    I had the same situation with a ridiculously underqualified boss who had the position created for her after a merger. She constantly canceled our meetings, even though I told her I had an urgent matter to discuss with her that I didn't want to do via email or text. Finally, at the two week mark, I told her via email that I was leaving. She refused to accept it and said we would talk when she was back in the office (some indeterminate time.) It was then my privilege to explain "at will" to her and give her the date of my last day. She retaliated by refusing to notify anyone else on our team until a few days before I was leaving, I think she thought it would deprive me of a going away party. She was very unpopular with everyone so she had no idea we had already had several going away parties without her!

18. AnonymousSeptember 8,2023 at 5:47PM UTC

    If you are in a toxic workplace file a formal complaint with the EEOC and FEHA let them do an investigation and if you are quitting be sure you let them know you were forced into doing this because of poor treatment. You should be able to collect unemployment until you find a new role. Or you could go into HR and let them know you need their help to navigate his abuse and that you want to retain your role but in a different department or have the company package you out because you are planning on filing if not and want to be sure you can collect unemployment before you just up and quit. Let them know the basic reasons and let them know you have concerns about the companies liability for his behavior. That should set the tone for a professional exit. Do it in person, look them in the eye and own your part in trying to make it work despite the abuse. You have to do this to get past it. Doing it cowering in the corner means he wins and you don't deserve that. You should stand tall and protect your own interests especially upon exit. Make sure any exit documents you sign contain a mutual non-disparagement clause.

19. AnonymousSeptember 9,2023 at 12:54PM UTC

    Email the resignation and move on. Honestly, if your boss is as bad as you say, HR has already clocked it….I always know what’s going on with everyone in my company (and its not small).

    Just don’t quit like one of our old managers did…he didn’t get the promotion he was hoping for so he put in his notice. After that he got very, very strange and ended his last day by throwing his laptop at out CFO and myself and threw a literal tantrum in front of a lot of people. I don’t know what was going on with him, we suspect some home stress, etc. but whatever you do, leave with your head high, not like that guy lol.

20. AnonymousSeptember 9,2023 at 1:56PM UTC

    i hate to say this, but i've sadly discovered that employers and HR really don't care about our opinions re: bad boss/managers. Nothing changes. I've worked many years in many places- Same people stay, good people leave...it's a cycle. So, it's you taking care o you...Leaving is your best decision, so leave...Give proper notice to both HR and your manager. Be the person you SHOULD be...head high, doing it right...That's who you are. and move on. There's no recourse, and I know you want that. I'm sorry. I had to do the same two years ago.. save your energy and apply it well to your next role. God bless and Godspeed

21. AnonymousSeptember 9,2023 at 7:09PM UTC

    Exit interviews are pointless! Some of the professionals I have watched on Youtube say that giving an exit interview to HR will only make you look like a problem and even ineligible for rehire in the future. You are right HR is not on the employee’s side

22. misskelleypSeptember 10,2023 at 1:04AM UTC

    You should do what's best and easiest for you regarding how you give notice. As far as how much data you give the company with regard to your reasons for quitting - I'd say if HR ASKS, then be honest, professional, but honest. Otherwise, skip it. They probably know and just don't care, and I'm sure you're not the first person to quit because of this @$$hat.

23. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 4:11AM UTC

    Be honest with HR in the most diplomatic way possible.

24. AnonymousSeptember 11,2023 at 7:54PM UTC

    Do NOT resign via email or text. Secure a new job before you quit. Schedule a meeting with your boss and his boss if he continues to cancel. You don't owe your boss or HR any details of your reasoning for leaving.

25. Lisa MarieSeptember 13,2023 at 9:27AM UTC

    No one really cares. It's just a job, so secure your next best opportunity, write a professional resignation letter, provide hard copies to your boss and HR, also scan annd email it, then simply leave (if they allow you to stay for the notice period).

    Nothing furthet needs to be said.