Coworker throwing me under the bus

Anonymous

July 27,2023 at 10:30PM UTC

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Coworker throwing me under the bus

So my coworker told me that she had been put on a PIP a few weeks ago. Up until then, we were relatively friendly and even exchanged texts occasionally. But since then, she has been actively throwing me under the bus at every chance she can get.

For example, at one point she was supposed to work on a project. She did not meet the deadline. But she claimed that MY contribution was so bad that she could not complete her own part even though my contribution had already been through quality control and approved weeks ago.

In another example, she has been openly bad-mouthing me to other coworkers saying my work is much worse than hers and she didn't know why she was 'picked on all the time' by the manager and that I should be the 'one on a PIP'. (At this point, she has been so loud about it, everyone in the office knows she is on a PIP, by the way).

I know this because she brazenly does it in front of me and some of my coworkers have told me about it when I was not in the room.

I suspect she thinks I got her in trouble somehow, or that I am the manager's pet, although I did not and I don't think I am the manager's pet at all.

My gut is telling me my PIP'd coworker is just feeling out of control and lashing out, and I should just let it go.

But I am worried that if I don't speak up, my reputation will be ruined by the false accusations.

What should I do?

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KatJuly 27,2023 at 11:24PM UTC
Why aren't you speaking up? Do not put up with this. Make sure your manager knows about this blatant undermining. Preserve your reputation and work. Email your manager with counterpoints to her arguments/accusations as they come up. Advocate for yourself so she's not controlling the narrative. She's trying to take you down with her-don't let that happen!
AnonymousJuly 28,2023 at 12:12AM UTC
Speak up. She's bitter and and wants to take you for a ride.
She needs to resign and knows it
Barbara ThompsonJuly 28,2023 at 9:21PM UTC
Document. Document. Document.
AnonymousJuly 31,2023 at 9:50PM UTC
Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AnonymousJuly 29,2023 at 4:26PM UTC
Don't engage her in any confrontations. She will bring herself down, and it won't be your fault. Since she is on a PIP, I think management will take any accusations for what they are: A desperate attempt to shift the blame. But just to be safe, document the disparaging conversations and report them if they become unhinged or threatening.
Mary PoolJuly 30,2023 at 2:06PM UTC
It astounds me how many people refuse to speak up for themselves. What is the point of not speaking up for yourself? Do you believe it will suddenly get better without any intervention? Do you expect others to champion your reputation if you are unwilling to advocate for it yourself? We teach people how to treat us; you are teaching her you are a patsy. If you are not a patsy, speak up, document, call her on it the moment it occurs and send an email documenting the incident every time you are implicated, copying both your boss and hers. If you are unwilling to step up and defend yourself, then the consequences are on you! You are responsible for protecting your reputation, no one else! If your reputation is not important to you, keep doing what you are doing and expect to be on PIP yourself within a few months. She is fighting for her job and her reputation, implying they got the wrong person and the right person is you. Why are you not fighting for your job and reputation?
Try to understand your reputation is more important than other people’s feelings.
AnonymousJuly 30,2023 at 3:32PM UTC
What you allow is what will continue. She’s deflecting and creating distractions (or trying to) because the bottom line is that if you were the one needing improvement, you’d be told by your leader. This person is suffering from a lack of integrity and you get to be the punching bag. She should be spending her energy working on the areas that need improvement- and based on her behavior, likely she won’t last. Step up and let your leaders know. It’s simply not ok, so make sure you’re advocating for yourself.
Good luck - you’ve got this!
maria roseJuly 30,2023 at 4:38PM UTC
Sounds like you are dealing with an extremely insecure coworker who doesn’t realize that they are the cause of their poor performance at work. Some people do have an unrealistic higher view of their work performance and don’t take criticism ( PIP) as a means to improve it, especially when it involves them putting in more effort than they actually want to put in—hence the blaming of others for their lack of performance.
If you feel that you need to be heard or need to talk to management and HR about this ask for a conference to discuss the best way you can move forward with dealing with this person in any interaction in the workplace without having any fallback on you. This employee is creating their own personal problem by not accepting the options given and is probably seeking to get themselves fired to get unemployment benefits, because they think they won’t get unemployment if they quit—which depends entirely on the employment laws in your area—most will give unemployment benefits with delays
AnonymousJuly 31,2023 at 5:43PM UTC
I would pull her aside. Let her know that you hear what she is saying and that is needs to stop immediately. Let her know that you are aware that she is on a PiP and that you are willing to help her if you can to improve if need be of to support her as much as you can but not to the detriment of your own work product. Let her know that if she continues to berate you and defame you, that you will file a formal complaint with HR which will likely not help her at all. Stand firm but be kind when you speak to her, she definitely is lashing out not knowing what to do.
AnonymousJuly 31,2023 at 9:49PM UTC
Look out for yourself: document EVERYTHING and trust NO ONE
AnonymousAugust 1,2023 at 3:49AM UTC
I agree that it sounds like she's lashing out. And it sounds like your co-workers agree, since they're telling you about what she's been saying.
As others have said - document the situation.
Don't respond to her behavior unprofessionally. When she blames a problem on your work that already passed through quality control, you can point that out politely and even ask what was missed in the check, if you want.
If your relationship was good enough, you can try to meet with her and offer assistance to improve her performance. If not, try to ignore her - at least in terms of direct confrontations - but make sure that any untruths are contradicted in your messages to your managers.
Don't respond directly, for instance don't say Ms PIP is wrong, I did that step correctly. Instead write up a summary of what you've accomplished - it's a good idea anyway to occasionally summarize your work for your management - something along the lines of "In the past 6 months, had all 4 of my projects pass the quality control."
Depending on your career goals and the situation, you could even use that to offer to train new staff or to ask what else you can do to move ahead in your career - make it into something positive for you rather than a negative about a coworker.
Good luck!
AnonymousAugust 1,2023 at 12:51PM UTC
If your coworker is already on a PIP, I honestly don't think her attempts to blame you for her missing work deliverables is going to go over well with her manager. Try and not let it get to you, though I imagine this is really frustrating. If you have the same manager and you're on good terms with your manager, you could always make sure you're representing your accurate status of events in your regular 1:1s with your manager without blaming your coworker at all or even letting it be known that you were told she is on a PIP.
Wanda ShawAugust 3,2023 at 11:29PM UTC
It’s obvious that she’s a whiner and a deflector - blaming others for her poor job performance. She’s probably unqualified for the position she currently holds and she knows it. So she has to place the blame on someone else, right? If it weren’t so sad, it would be kind of funny. You’re right, you should let it go. Continue to do your job to the best of your ability and let others think what they will, which I’m probably guessing that they already have summed up the situation and know just how egregious your coworker is.
Cathy GriffithNovember 27,2023 at 6:55PM UTC
I, too, had a horrible experience with a coworker. Exact type of scenario (except that she wasn't put on a PIP). She, too, was very friendly with me. She then started spreading rumors, for some reason, openly bad mouthing me to other coworkers, other personnel within the company, and my boss, while continuing to put on a "nice person" disguise. I went to my boss and informed him as to what she was doing. He did nothing. I ended up getting let go. Lesson learned is that there are ruthless individuals in the workplace. We have to remember that these individuals have issues and are projecting.