Looking for advice because I am usually not one to take things to HR, but I fear if I don't say something this workplace hostility will continue.

Anonymous

October 19,2023 at 2:29AM UTC

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Looking for advice because I am usually not one to take things to HR, but I fear if I don't say something this workplace hostility will continue.

It's a long story, but stems from one employee who got upset with me, tried to tattle on me to my boss because they thought I wasn't doing my job, they brought it up in the onsite meeting during a lunch break that I was not a part of. My boss told that employee they were wrong and I am doing my work. That employee went out on maternity leave for a few months and I was able to breathe and work hard. Now they are back and the drama is starting all over again. It seems like they are influencing others to be hostile towards me. In a zoom meeting today the person leading it had a look of disdain on their face when I got on and then they immediately started tearing apart research I did for the meeting. I was in tears and left the meeting.

I have felt similar instances with other employees who tear apart the work I present and get almost hostile towards me --scowls on their face if it's just me and them in video meetings, short and curt when I ask them a question, and discounting many of the ideas I bring forth with idk excuse or another.

I know I need to start documenting these instances. Do I start a document of what I have seen so far to take to HR and keep a running log after I meet with HR?

How do I protect myself from these people who basically bully me?

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AnonymousOctober 19,2023 at 11:49AM UTC
Of course, document everything, gather up whatever proof you have. My questions for you: have you had any additional conversations with your boss? I would start there. Also, when did this individual return from maternity leave? I ask that because when I've dealt with performance issues with an individual returning from any sort of medical leave, our counsel has always been to tread lightly for a bit and in this case, if this person is that much of a jerk, they may claim if any action is taking against them that they are being retaliated against for taking leave.
Meagan PriorOctober 19,2023 at 12:41PM UTC
Record the Zoom meetings. The functionality is easy to use.
Huong Nguyen-ValleOctober 19,2023 at 10:43PM UTC
You must get consent or have a valid reason to record the Zoom meeting. You might get in trouble if you do and the company doesn't know.
AnonymousOctober 20,2023 at 1:20PM UTC
This will depend on what state as well as company policy.
Christine BahraOctober 20,2023 at 2:43PM UTC
When you hit the record button, everyone on the call gets a pop up they have to acknowledge. You can’t secretly record with Zoom
Leader135412October 20,2023 at 4:48PM UTC
Sounds like the middle school means girls club. Document when it started again upon that employees return, who else is now joining them in turn. Tell your boss that they are sabotaging your work, are unprofessional in their treatment of you and you need closure on this situation.
AnonymousOctober 20,2023 at 5:26PM UTC
I would ask your manager to sit down with you and the HR rep and work out a plan to stop these attacks. What you are describing is gaslighting, and professional jealousy. Keep your head down document everything and if nothing is done then file a formal complaint with the EEOC for workplace toxicity.
Going forward the best way to stop this is to tell the person that you expect the same professional respect you give to them. Tell it to them directly and let them know that their behavior toward you and undermining your work will not be tolerated. I suspect because you are a more sensitive person this may be difficult for you so if you need to include your manager in that conversation do so.
Pat CoganOctober 23,2023 at 1:45AM UTC
Are you older or younger than the person who went on maternity?
Damie WilsonOctober 21,2023 at 1:58PM UTC
Have HR log on with you for a while. They'll know which employees contribute to the company.
Karen PatwaOctober 22,2023 at 1:16PM UTC
Document everything in writing. In addition to your own notes, find related emails or other communications that you have legitimate access to which show the behaviors you're experiencing. Ask for permission to record a few meetings so that everyone has a record of what was discussed. If the attendees consent, then record. See how everyone behaves when they are being recorded. I wouldn't go to your HR department right away. Consult external professionals who can give you good HR and/or legal advice after looking at your evidence. Remember that HR might go with the majority, or do whatever they need to do to protect the organization, and not you. Know your rights, the value of your evidence first. I'd also suggest you have a strategy and goals in place around exactly what you want from the meeting with HR before going that route.
Amy GrimshawOctober 22,2023 at 2:17PM UTC
You don’t. You quit or not take it personal. If you go to hr they will take care of the problem by firing the person who doesn’t get their work done. Stop being scared of them and push back. Ask questions why they are staying what they are. You have to stand up for yourself.
AnonymousOctober 22,2023 at 8:09PM UTC
I'm sorry you feel this way. I felt like I wanted to get back at these negative people. Can you confront them in front of your superior? They do this because they can sense you're afraid of confrontation. Make a stand and put them on the spot. Don't be afraid, especially if you're in the right. (fingers cross)
Michelle StewartOctober 24,2023 at 2:03PM UTC
I would request to record all meetings with the excuse that you want to be able to review them later to make sure you don't miss something. I'd recommend starting with your supervisor once you have a few items of proof. You want to have some sort of proof - Teams message, email, etc., that you can use.