Every workplace can’t be toxic.

Every workplace can’t be toxic.

One thing I have seen repeatedly here is the phrase “toxic workplace “. Is every single workplace toxic or is it just when things don’t go your way?

My company had a very generous attendance/PTO policy. During your first 5 years, you get 120 hours PTO of which 56 can be used as Sick pay. Anything after that is subject to disciplinary action if not scheduled.

One particular employee did not work a full week the first 5 months of the year. Every single week it was something. When they were written up, the phrase “toxic work environment “ started. It was a crock.

I stand my ground that a lot of these places that are being referred to as toxic are actually employees not wanting to be held responsible for their actions. There are no perfect places to work. There is harassment but someone saying damn when they drop something is not worth going to HR over.

I think we have become a society of “someone else’s fault” and refuse to look in the mirror and take responsibility for our own actions.

Why women love us:

  • Daily articles on career topics
  • Jobs at companies dedicated to hiring more women
  • Advice and support from an authentic community
  • Events that help you level up in your career
  • Free membership, always

Share your insight

Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.

230 Comments

Join the conversation
  1. Anonymous

    Best post on this site today!

  2. misskelleyp

    Yes, I totally agree with you.

  3. Anonymous

    Not every workplace is toxic, and there are plenty of employees who fail to take responsibility for their actions.

    But many workplaces *are* toxic. I suffered workplace harassment despite excellent work and ended up with stress-related illnesses. Even though I coped, I didn’t fully realize how harmful this environment had been until I was free of it.

  4. Anonymous

    Amen. There are some places where I as a seasoned professional would rather work as a cashier.

    But, yes...you are correct. I avoid drama (including social media with colleagues), say my pleasant good mornings, do my job ago home. I also document my days- not because it's someone else's fault, but you illustrate accomplishments

    We are a "it's not fair world ". Yes, a lot can suck but....how the person chooses to navigate accordingly--

  5. Anonymous

    I hear you; however, this is the issue with corporate America.
    The executives in a company think they can treat employees any kind of way and get away with it. Employees just want to do their job, earn a paycheck, and go home. Many executives mistreat their employees and unfortunately some employees see this from the top (this is where it starts) and follow suit.

    I don’t think ALL workplaces are toxic, but many are. It doesn’t help if HR doesn’t do anything about it, but I know they work for the company not the employees. It is a shame that they don’t have the integrity to want to intervene when they see things like this happening.

    It is a shame but I say let’s call a spade a spade. If an environment is toxic and hostile, we need to say something about it. Do not be afraid, but think of your mental health and what these people are getting away with. It is time for employees to speak up and take action!

  6. Michelle Quattro

    I had a terrible experience of a toxic work environment and am in the middle of a lawsuit because of it. So despite anecdotal evidence, toxic workplaces are rampant. I’m happy your company has put these measures in place. I was threatened with my job because I caught Covid and took 4 days off. It was flatly, as in clearly, against the law.

  7. Anonymous

    It is all in the "eye of the beholder." One person who claims a toxic workplace may be the poison -or- what is "toxic" to one person can simply annoy another. I've run into this as both an IC and as a manager.

    One guy would constantly badmouth his coworkers and brag about his accomplishments to me in private and staff meetings. I fired him for compromising a client (spreading the toxin outside the workplace and making the company look bad).

    At another place, I had to let go of one who I could not get to come to work. It was always some family emergency, illness, planned trips, etc. After maxing out PTO, they were written up for attendance with specific targets and requirements if they had to take time off. There was an allowance in the PIP for an already scheduled family event with the understanding that the time off was unpaid. After that, they failed the terms of the PIP and were terminated. Another one kept badmouthing me and the company and even blamed me for causing them to get COVID-19 (it was a ridiculous claim.) Also terminated.

    In every one of these cases, the actions of these individuals created a toxic environment for all the workers. Once they were terminated, the morale and productivity of each of the teams improved significantly. Also, in each of these cases, I was very likely perceived by the terminated person as the cause of the toxicity as they refused to "look in the mirror" and see their failings. It is always someone else's fault.

    So, to respond directly to your comments, I try to be supportive when possible and approach the "question" or request with a "grain of salt." If it appears that they are overstating the issue or the source of the problem, I tend to ask a lot of clarifying questions. Sometimes they answer, sometimes they don't. Sometimes, they expand more in other people's replies. What you describe here has been the source of much of the "flaming" recently, to the point that moderators have had to remove postings.

  8. Barb Hansen

    You are entitled to your opinion, and here's mine.

    Is every difficult situation encountered in the workplace come from a toxic workplace? Of course not.

    Are there plenty of toxic work places? Yes.

    Are there plenty of situations that some of us "just put up with" over the years that others won't stand for? Yes.

    Does one person's ability to put up with a situation diminish another person's right to complain, fix, seek help or leave a job that doesn't work for them? No.

    Are there bad employees? yes. Are there bad managers? Absolutely. Are there companies with less-than-adequate workplace policies? Sure.

    What's worse for companies? I'll wager that bad managers and less-than-adequate workplace policies are worse for companies than bad employees.

    In my opinion, I don't think we've become a society of "someone else's fault", I think we've become a society where workers, especially women, BIPOC, and others who historically been marginalized have some laws, tools and access to support to have jobs were they feel safe and like a valued part of the team, and I'm all for it because every bad manager and less-than-adequate workplace policy that someone complains about and gets fixed, makes it's better for all of us. Just like the early labor unions complained about and fought to fix what at the time was considered normal workplace policies and we are all in a better place that those early labor union workers saw a better future so we get 8 hour work days, paid vacation, sick time (mostly), coffee and lunch breaks.

  9. Anonymous

    Exactly!

  10. Anonymous

    No, not all places are toxic. But most have some issues. Often centered around management not caring about employee's work/life balance or not caring about how employees treat each other. My workplace has gone back and forth, with management sometimes turning a blind eye to how some people are treated. We had one LGBT person who was treated horribly by a fellow employee who was in a position above them. They went to HR about it. And the company opted to let them go and not the person who was harassing them. THAT is toxic. But to most people? The business was just fine. (They have since gotten far better on such things, so I'll give the company that!).

    We also went through a period with a head of HR who was absolutely toxic. This person went out of her way to make employees miserable. She wrote up anyone who punched in even a minute late (ignoring if they punched out late as well). She once dragged in an employee to fire her because she claimed she punched in while she was on her way to work (using her cell phone and not her computer and basing it on what tower it pinged). Her manager had to come fight for her because as it turned out her computer wouldn't start up that morning, IT was working on it, and management told her to just punch in on her phone since her computer was inaccessible for some time. That person eventually left for a new job and I don't blame her at all.

    The business did finally fire that HR person and got another one in who is great.

    I will also add that those who are happy with their workplaces probably aren't on here talking about them or asking advice about them. I'm pretty happy with where I work. It has its issues but it's gotten better over the years and they're trying.

    So instead of "you all just don't want to take responsiblity" maybe it's time to look in YOUR mirror. Something tells me your workplace is toxic and you might be part of the problem.

  11. Anonymous

    Well said

  12. Anonymous

    The “Toxic Workplace” label is overused and a bit of a broad brush term. However, people seem to forget that work is work, not a social hour or a nonstop party and far too many people do not understand this.

  13. Anonymous

    Work doesn't have to be miserable. You are allowed to enjoy what you do and like your coworkers, and, for many people, that is the ideal situation.

  14. Christi Miller

    I think workplaces can go from great to toxic depending on the management and coworkers you have. They can also be great for some and toxic good others. I think it's about perspective.

  15. Goalsetter498760

    This is exactly what happened at my current place.
    I left a toxic workplace to come here. Management and company goals have changed significantly and literally more than half of my contacts on our internal communication software are gone now. (They leave the name but grey out the avatar.) That amount of turnover in less than a year is a pretty good indicator of an absolutely toxic environment.

  16. Heather Jones

    When you're worked so hard and it goes unnoticed. That's toxic. Allowing the older employees to talk down to you. And you get in trouble. Toxic

  17. Anonymous

    Absolutely true, i love you wrote this. Every year around this time i go through this with my team of 20 somethings who most still live at home or depend on their parents. They call out sick with a "fever" every weekend leaving those that go to work "stuck" it's unfair to me because either i have to find someone to cover which i can't at last min or have to go to work myself. Then when i say something I am the bad guy for not understanding their drama or issues. I don't have support which is not fair to me either. Yet when another team asks for help i am stuck sending the help. Yet only once someone has sent me help in return. I am at a breaking point now that i told them to find their own coverage, unless a doctor put them out they need to figure it out. Am i wrong?

  18. Anonymous

    Yes, you’re wrong. You have no idea what someone else’s circumstances are. Instead of being mad at the people using the time off afforded to them be mad at your company for not ensuring appropriate support.

    The irony that the same group of people who will scream age discrimination throw out terms like 20 somethings without a second thought.

  19. Anonymous

    She's not wrong. The circumstances are irrelevant & it's quite clear when the call offs happen around a holiday or as soon as PTO resets. Oh, I have sick days again, I'll take one! It sounds like they have appropriate support. They schedule the correct number of people & then one of the team calls off. You don't just schedule extra people to cover the folks who might call off. This is why many companies have policies that if you call off the day after a holiday, you don't get paid for the holiday. It's an excellent policy.

  20. Anonymous

    You never know why someone is calling off. Try to have compassion for others.

  21. Anonymous

    Not wrong but this is not Toxic...its mismanaged.

  22. Anonymous

    It's not just the 20-somethings. I lead a fairly large team, and there are people without fail that will call in sick the day after a long weekend/holiday/vacation.. they never get back to work the day they are supposed to. It's always a 'fever', 'sore throat', 'car problem'. Only when I officially write it up does the behavior stop (at least for a while).

  23. Anonymous

    I’ve personally experienced both. A while back I posted an experience asking for advice to deal with a superior who would scream at me on a daily basis. That’s toxic.

    I left for better pay at a smaller company whose first rule is “no jerks” and I’ve never seen a place with such a positive environment and low turnover.

  24. Anonymous

    You are lucky you have never had to work in a toxic workplace. My last workplace WAS toxic. So toxic I left without having another position lined up. This is the first role I have ever referred to as toxic. I have been working full time since I was 16 and am now 46. Leaving wasn’t a sense of entitlement, it was to protect my mental and physical health. I am still struggling to get my work self confidence back (or even close) to what it was before that workplace.

  25. Anonymous

    I have a similar story. I’m 48 and have been working since I was 15. My last work place was toxic as well. I’ve had many jobs and have never called any place I’ve worked at toxic until this one. Good for you for leaving! I stayed and (fortunately) was laid off. I’m also working through self doubt and self confidence issues because of that job environment. Sadly toxic workplaces do exist. Those of you who’ve avoided them are very lucky and I hope that you never experience a toxic manager or workplace. It can really do a number on you!

  26. Anonymous

    try being in someone else's shoes. Our HR recruiter quit because they had a hard time with selling the place.

  27. Anonymous

    One person's Toxic workplace can be another person's heaven. It all depends.

    I've found that ",Toxic " is a catchall term these days and extremely popular. Just like calling everyone that you don't like a Narcissist. It's over used and usually not accurate.

  28. Anonymous

    OP here. Thank you all for your comments. I honestly didn’t expect this sort of feedback. I appreciate it.

    I know that no company (including my own) is perfect. We have bosses in my company that I would quit before I would work for because they are toxic.

    We all work together and sometimes $?!t happens. There is absolutely nothing at our company that can not wait when it comes to mental health or family. I have never denied a PTO request and I have never refused to let someone leave if they get a message that either upset them, just having a bad day, or needed to pick up a child.

    we have a strict no phone policy. In a plant with over 100 people, I can’t let my people blatantly use their phones in the sight of everyone so I ask them to step off the floor into the empty office beside me and use their phones.

    i give everyone a task for the day and as long as it gets accomplished on that day, I do not mess with them. Sometimes things come up and I need them to switch priorities but we always make it work.

    I fight the powers that be for my team and in return they work hard for our team. We don’t do anything that compromises the company’s quality, safety or reputation and in return they allow me to treat my team like humans.

    there are absolutely some things I can not change. If people are tardy, I can only excuse so much.

    At the company I am at, my previous boss told another manager that I was not interested in an open position. I was very interested but my boss didn’t want to lose me because I did all his work. That is a toxic manager but not a toxic work place.

  29. Anonymous

    A toxic manager makes a toxic workplace, as he /she works in the workplace.
    They are one and the same.

  30. Anonymous

    True

  31. Maggie Stone

    I agree that sometimes people are too quick to cry “toxic” when there are rules and restrictions that they don’t like or discipline that they feel is unfair; however, I do believe that there are genuinely places that are toxic or just plain unsupportive.

  32. Anonymous

    Yes I totally agree. I think it’s a case of the ‘new’ in the workforce, learning that things aren’t the same as at home.

  33. GirlBossanova934974

    "Toxic" has become the new "catch-all" word for something that is not wanted or liked. Based upon my 40 years of work experience, "toxic work cultures" usually start at the top and work their way down. Bring in one lousy manager and before you know it, things go down the drain very quickly. Next thing you know, your organization is loaded with finger pointers, gossip spreaders, and such. Good people leave and the organization becomes just another bunch of clock punchers and people standing around, hoping someone else makes a decision. The toxic work environment in my view has become more prevalent due to 2 main factors. A) Face to face communication skillsets are no longer valued or emphasized. These days, we have companies doing one way video interviews. Wonder they hire, eh? Second, the lack of management training and education. Back 20 years ago, you were not able to move very far up the corporate ladder without an advanced management degree or go through a corporate management assessment center. Those places usually weeded out personnel who were not fit. Ergo today, we have a group of "managers" learning as they go. Mistakes abound. One bad manager hires a bunch of less than desirable people and the problems spread like cancer.

  34. Anonymous

    Absolutely! I’ve had to work my way to where I am. In our warehouse, I have been there 7 years. I started as the customer service person. I can do everything in the warehouse. Shipping, receiving, picking, ordering, etc. I have learned the process of production and how we relate to the success. I have had no issues with my team when I was promoted to supervisor.

    Another worker doesn’t know his a$$ from a hole in the ground and he was promoted to supervise a team he never worked in. It has been a disaster.

    I know not every worker is management material but I do feel that knowing the jobs of your team is a good start.

    we have toxic departments no doubt but we work every day to improve them.

    if I see one of my supervisors on another team or even one of my superiors acting in a way considered toxic, I will request meetings and question them.

    Example: It was recently review time. We have employees who have been with us for 30+ years. One supervisor was giving feedback and told a worker that if he didn’t like his raise, he could go work somewhere else. He could have easily said instead that this employee was maxed out and the only way for more money was to promote to a different department. Totally the same message but the employee takes it differently.

    when I informed my manager what was said, an all hands meeting was called to explain maxing out on pay grades. This tells the employee that their opinion and work is appreciated and we want more for them.

    I feel that we can’t mane the workplace non-toxic if we don’t address the issues.

  35. Anonymous

    I find this fascinating because in the company I've worked for, we used to promote from within. The managers were people in their department that were moved up. Most of them had no management training. And while some struggled, a lot of them got into the swing of things and it went well. They understood the company as they had been in the lower position before. They knew how things worked. They knew how to get things done.

    Now we hire a bunch of people with their fancy MBAs to manage stuff and it's a disaster half the time. They don't understand the company. They run roughshod over things with their "big ideas" and the company has definitely gone downhill, both in terms of culture and in terms of how well it's doing. I sometimes miss the good old days when we promoted people who got it instead of looking at degrees.

  36. GirlBossanova934974

    Have to say a big believer in QUALITY MBA programs. HOWEVER, most MBA programs do not produce quality graduates. That is why they are NOT quality programs. Many MBA programs are glorified overpaid undergraduate degree mills. Then there are the EXECUTIVE MBA programs which are nothing more than big money for good grades. But show me an MBA program which weeds out more than 70% applicants and then only graduates only 50% of its incoming students and does it full time and chances are, you will get a decently trained manager. STUPID JUNK like violating labor laws and getting the company into $100,0000 to $1M legal settlements is something these managers are taught how to avoid.

  37. Anonymous

    Weeding out a high percentage of people who are accepted into the program is also toxic. If they aren't qualified, they shouldn't be accepted. If they are, they should be supported through the program and set up for success.

  38. Anonymous

    This is very true. We recently had change in upper management that brought up many new people, who were insiders from their place of work before. The tone from the top changed as the bosses did not care for the company culture and it all trickled down. Unfortunately, the company suffered, productivity fell, but new management still does not take responsibility.

  39. T M

    I’m a consultant so I see a lot of different businesses. As an outsider with an insider view, I see toxic situations in almost every business I work with. They only thing that varies is the degree and breadth. Some but not all of these organizations could definitely be define as toxic workplaces. But I don’t think we should discount the experiences of individuals that experience toxic situations in an otherwise “okay” workplace.

  40. Anonymous

    Approximately 1-2% of the general population has either antisocial or narcissist personality disorder. The higher in the hierarchy, the more prevalent these traits are. Not every workplace is entirely toxic, but there are toxic people in every workplace.

    People can be held accountable and in general will hold themselves accountable, when there is psychological safety to do so. But when you are dealing with genuinely toxic people, forget it. Any mistake you might make will be used as a weapon against you. You will know if you are dealing with someone toxic if you are feeling psychological or physical symptoms and stress.

  41. Anonymous

    I like this definition. If I wake up in sweat thinking about a particular employee or employer then something is not right for me and it is time to get out.

  42. Anonymous

    I don’t think every place is always toxic, but there’s always toxicity in every workplace, if that makes sense. I worked for a place that was amazing, until I switched into a different role. It was like a light switch had gone off. I got out, but that was a hard pill to swallow.

    I also think there was plenty of it in our grandparents day, but they just didn’t call it out. I figure that it’s because they had a lot more protections in place and more reasons to figure out how to make it work (pensions, unions, etc) than we do in 2024. However, I also think that now, as a society, we are (mostly) less likely to take bullshit than we used to be, and it seems there’s a lot of employers out there that are slow on the uptake.

  43. Anonymous

    I think in the past with our parents if you were loyal to the company, they would be loyal to you. So people worked hard, but they also got something out of it, like pension, stability. Now when the employer can terminate you easily and pensions are rare, the incentive to put up with bs is much less.

  44. Anonymous

    OP commenter here, YES, this too!

  45. Todd

    I’m glad for you that you had a decent employer.
    And I’m not surprised that someone else there took advantage. But that does not mean that the claims of toxic workplaces here are not real. The fact is, few who have a wonderful employer (as I did for nearly 30 years) will post in a forum like this. But that doesn’t mean that the toxic situation that I just got fired from was some kind of fabrication of my own mind. Most people know how people deserve to be treated.

  46. Anonymous

    I couldn’t agree more. I am sorry that you were fired. I hope you will be able to receive unemployment.

  47. Assata Knox

    Exactly

  48. Molly F

    So many people throw it out when they don't get their way or they simply don't like the environment. Rarely do they consider that they might be the issue.

  49. Anonymous

    Most of the people who win a (EEOC -backed with a letter) settlement were already told with PIP and harassment they are the problem, so I highly doubt they think they are not. The truth is that if the issue is their disability or their skin color or their pregnancy, and not them, then yes, they are in toxic hostile toxic environment with conditions covered under USA federal law.

  50. Anonymous

    People also use the term “gaslighting” too much on this site!

  51. Anonymous

    Well said, but there are truly some that are toxic for sure. I do agree with most of your commentary that the lazy employee who cares more about time off than time on is the norm in many circumstances and when they don't get their way they light a fire at work. Gaslighting and finger pointing is prevalent and in many cases the cause for a lot of this ridiculous behavior. When I interview prospective employees and they care more of perks, vacation, working from home and time off than what the role is I wish them the best...but not on my team. Care for your career and respect it and yourself enough to be great, not just good and the rewards are there for you, your future, your job satisfaction, and lastly your wallet.

  52. Anonymous

    "and lastly your wallet."

    Spoken like true management who doesn't want to pay people what they're worth.

  53. Anonymous

    You may want to reconsider this judgment call as a personal hiring practice, as it is discriminatory to people who need to ensure they have the minimum benefits they need due to their life circumstances as a consideration of them accepting a potential job offer, which may include:

    - People who have disabilities or chronic medical conditions.

    - People who are parents, grandparents, caretakers or otherwise have someone in their lives who relies on their time and attention to live a healthy and productive life.

    - People enlisted in military reserves, especially those with spouses or dependents relying on family benefits or non-emergency caregiving time.

    - People who are also community leaders and/or active volunteers (e.g.: volunteer firefighters).

    But of course, as a simple anon, I can't force you to prioritize forthright, responsible people who also care about their connections and personal wellbeing over those who are too reluctant to ask about aspects of their new potential career that would affect them in the future, potentially causing them to leave for an organization who better supports their life circumstances and goals.

    It just might be a little problem if your company's HR knew you considered people who do ask about benefits they will receive as a condition of being employed during their interview with you to not be a good fit to hire.

  54. Anonymous

    When I interview with managers who don't care about their employees' health and wellness outside of work (which includes enough time off to recharge), I move on. There is a reason that there is a huge uptick in illnesses in recent years, especially autoimmune diseases. People need more time to rest and recharge. Take care of your employees and they'll care more about the work and company.

  55. Maggie Smith

    I think people who are more likely to post here have suffered from toxic work environments. I don't know whether "toxic" is always the right world though. Per dictionary, toxic means either poisonous or very harmful or unpleasant in a pervasive way. And unfortunately, some environments can be harmful to employees either because of a bad boss or bullies or some either situation, like bad financial results that lead to bad management decisions, long hours, less pay. I have been both management and employee and know that sometimes low performing employees just don't get it or manipulate the system. I had an employee who was running a side gig out of his workstation, did not deliver results, but when fired wrote an email that our company was full of unprofessionalism! But we also had managers who were not good at delivery expectations, were rude, somehow though they were kept by the higher ups.

    If you feel stressed and have physical response to something at the workplace then it is toxic for you indeed.

  56. Anonymous

    OP, have you considered your preoccupation with someone else's situation may be the problem?

    By focusing on someone else and leveling a false dichotomy over one pattern you observed, you're exhibiting a toxic mindset over workplace toxicity. It's possible others have taken notice of this in your behavior at the workplace.

    Don't worry - you can break the cycle with this thought exercise. :)

    Repeat this fact until you feel neutral: "How much time an employee takes off is between themselves, their direct supervisor and/or HR. Taking time off from work is not harmful, unethical, or illegal."

    Now that you have separated your emotional attachment to the situation, you have some important questions to ask.

    Other than you not agreeing with your coworker's opinion about your workplace, how is this situation affecting your workload?

    If you can find an answer, it's time to be a responsible employee and team member. Ask your company why they don't have enough support in this area! If you can't find an answer, why are you worrying about someone else's situation when you can be a responsible employee managing your own workload and life balance instead? If that's already achieved, you're doing great!

    Don't distract yourself from your career goals - you'll only get heartburn and a headache. Instead, ask yourself, how else can you contribute to your team? That's the collaborative mindset that helps teams in the workplace thrive. :)

  57. Anonymous

    OP here. I promise I am not preoccupied with his attendance. He doesn’t report to me or my team. I do know he is probably the best worker we have when he is there. But the policy has to be equal for everyone. Our company can’t excuse his call outs and write up others for the same things. I hate to see anyone in danger of losing their jobs. it does affect the entire team that he is on when it continues to happen.

  58. Anonymous

    Oh, please . . . do us all a favor and stop telling other people how they should think.

  59. Anonymous

    But that's essentially what the OP did :/

  60. Anonymous

    This is too much.

  61. Anonymous

    Actually. I disagree and you’d have to give me more details to explain this person’s reasons for being off work. Maybe they have a medical condition that they won’t tell anyone because people may talk about her/him. Or it’s embarrassing. . If you can’t put yourself in someone else’s shoes, then you aren’t in a good spot to judge.

  62. Anonymous

    It only happens till he runs out of PTO. Then he doesn’t call out for about 8 months. It starts again every January.

  63. Anonymous

    If he has PTO, I fail to see the problem

  64. Anonymous

    I completely agree with the term being used casually recently. Yes there are circumstances that are toxic and unfortunately when every little thing triggers the word toxic it diminishes and detracts from the truly toxic situations which may then be overlooked. I frequently hear coworks state that they don't owe the company anything which is perfectly true but what they then forget is that the company doesn't owe you anything either, you have entered a contract, your employer pays you a predetermined amount of money and provides predetermined perks, in return they expect you to do your job for the number of hours agreed on. Discipline occurs when that contract is breached which isn't a toxic circumstance.

  65. Angela R Edwards

    i think you have a valid point and one person's toxic workplace can be another's dream job

  66. Anonymous

    I agree. The phrase gets thrown around these days, toxic work environment, mental health, harassment

    unless you have objective and concrete examples, it sounds very subjective and me against the world thing.

  67. Anonymous

    How does one callout a company on LinkedIn for being toxic without having career repercussions? I’m working for a company that I know has done some illegal things with employees that have been let go but has never been held accountable. Per my NDA non disparagement agreement I cannot say anything bad about them.

    This all conflicts with my values and but I need the job so what are my

    other than look for an opportunity. I think about organizing a group lawsuit all the time after I’m gone but the reality is it costs a lot of money for little chances of winning.

  68. Le Pelle

    Interesting

  69. Anonymous

    I also think some of us have become apathetic to others' concerns as long as it doesn't affect us personally. Just because it's not happening to us doesn't make it not toxic on some level for someone else.

  70. Marguerite Martinez Farley

    thank you! and it only takes one person to ruin the work experience for the department. people need to be more empathetic to their coworkers and their feelings and maybe help feel better about the work experience instead of turning a blind eye until it effects them

  71. Anonymous

    It saddens me that 120 hours (~15 work days per year) is considered a very generous policy, especially when your paid sick days need to come out of this pool!
    In most developed countries people are legally entitled to a minimum of 20 vacation days, with most companies offering more. Often, employees are also entitled to a seperate pool of paid sick days, and in many cases there is no cap on these if you are able to provide evidence of need.

    Within the context of the system your specific workplace might be slightly better than others, but a system that considers that to be a generous allowance seems to operate with a pretty base level of toxicity.

  72. Anonymous

    Maybe what you describe as "casually thrown around" is simply that it's now more openly discussed, much like the term "mental health." As a person who's been gainfully employed since the mid-80s, I can state that the majority of offices I've worked in have been toxic; some more than others.

  73. Anonymous

    Totally agree with this. It's the nature of our economic model unfortunately - some companies may prioritize employee safety and wellbeing more than others, but at the end of the day we are a row on the company's budget sheet and if the cost of maintaining a non-toxic workplace is more than employee contribution, in most companies it won't happen. It's a fantastic thing that we are talking about it more openly.

  74. rgstaffing@bellsouth.net

    I totally agree with this. I have never seen the level of brats and cry babies as i have seen on many of these postings. My boss is toxic-my coworkers are mean wah wha wha. In my 46 years as a recruiter--i filled 101 direct hire jobs last year even I don't have this in the candidates that I have placed. Instead of enabling this group of whiners, and sympathizing with them, help them to be a grown up and learn how function in the work world and get along with even difficult people. Even the emotionally disfunctional are going to have to learn how to manage problems and situations in the work world.

  75. Ayian

    If you happened to be looking for what toxic looks or sounds like, it's you.

  76. Anonymous

    "Emotionally dysfunctional" ?? Quite the callous response. Perhaps you mean neurodivergent?

    As a Certified Staffing Professional (per ASA) and have done both temp and direct hire staffing. I'm glad to not have to work with you. I think a course in emotional intelligence may be in order here.....

  77. Anonymous

    I applaud the younger generations that have the audacity to question our most rigid views about what we should be willing to accept in the workplace.

    yesteryear smocking was “safe”. Now it’s not and somE countries like Australia ticket for public smoking.

    todays “toxic workplace” could be tomorrows standard operating procedure.

  78. Anonymous

    Hard evidence. But let the EEOC decide and get their letter. Most settle so there is no lawsuit .

  79. Ayian

    I think it is very convenient for you to dismiss all uses of the term toxic workplace based on your interpretation of events for that one person. You stand in judgement of that person and chose to post this anonymously. I suspect that I would find a workplace where I had to interact with someone whose psychological landscape made this post possible to be rather unpleasant.

    I am an Autist and I suffer from migraines. Workplaces where I am unable to control the light and sound will result in migraine days and while I used to just suffer through them, I will now stay home. Unless you were their manager, you don't know what was going on for that person. Sometimes life is a when it rains it pours situation.

    Now, maybe that person was simply disgruntled and didn't appreciate whatever consequences came of their absences, but without knowing the reason for them, we here are unable to be fair in our assessment of what you've asserted.

    I think largely when toxic workplace is used to describe someone's company, there are factors such as not having time off or enough time off, not being able to use it, required work going well over 40 hours on an ongoing basis regardless of seasonality, being threatened for your job (like your manager threatens to fire you frequently whenever they don't like an answer at work), nasty coworkers who are not censured by management/HR, constantly changing duties or undocumented job tasks that you are blamed for not doing well or correctly, harassment of protected demographics, being told not to talk to your coworkers while you work despite working in adjoining desks and work is still being accomplished, people literally yelling at or to each other through your office on a daily or weekly basis, threats of physical violence by coworkers who are not made to manage their outbursts, cigars being smoked in the building resulting in asthma attacks and poor performance being chastised while you attempt to recover aka: reintroduce oxygen to your brain, being fired days after your second surgery in 2 months for supposedly not having performed well at your job but also not being able to take any time off because the entire rest of the team was laid off, and my favorite: being told which bathroom to use because a straight guy was uncomfortable when the correct one was used. These are all examples I have personally experienced in toxic workplaces.

    There are many other things that constitute or contribute to what makes a place toxic, but absolutely a coworker who dismisses another person's perspective without even knowing where they're coming from meets the criteria to contribute to a toxic workplace. You took to the internet to anonymously and publicly bully that coworker and rally others with dogwhistles to support your position.

  80. Anonymous

    OP again. I am not trying to bully anyone. I have an insider view on this. This person is my son-in-law. I am the last person that wants him to lose his job. He isn't in my department but I hear the talk. I always respond with "I just got him the interview".

    I do know there isn't any debilitating condition that prevents them from working. Also I have never heard of a condition that miraculously goes away when you are out of PTO.

  81. Anonymous

    If this is how you talk about your son-in-law, I'd hate to see how you talk about people who aren't part of your family...

  82. Anonymous

    Well said. So sorry for all you've been through

  83. Marcia Smith

    My biggest questions are "why was the employee unable to complete a full workweek", "what constitutes a full workweek and how is that measured" - and "how much was the employee lacking"?

    In this thread, we have seen many TOXIC definitions of all three of these.

    If the employee is a single parent with multiple children or is a caregiver of a family member - OR - has had multiple deaths in the family - then they should be shown compassion - rather than the door.

    We are NOT robots

    We have FAMILIES

    We need support at work

    So - please think more about the situation and what this particular employee may be going through - and NOT sharing with the team because they feel that they will be reprimanded for having problems that we as MOTHERS, SPOUSES, CAREGIVERS, and just people in general have.

    Let me give you an example. Just one week after starting a new job, my mother went to the hospital in critical condition and my husband and I immediately became her caregivers 24/7 and moved into her home. Even though there were 2 of us - it was a full time job - on TOP of a full time job.

    My mother passed in only 6 weeks - and THEN there was the incredibly stressful job of organizing her funeral and going through her things and emptying her apartment.

    The day after my mother's passing our truck had a major breakdown that cost $13,000 - the ENTIRE fuel system had to be replaced.

    Then - it broke down AGAIN on our way back home - which was a 24 hour drive.

    This is just my story - and I will NEVER forget how my employer handled what was the MOST traumatic event of my ENTIRE life......

  84. Anonymous

    So sorry you went through all this; hope your employer was kind

  85. Anonymous

    I agree with people always saying "someone else fault". I my opinion people need to take responsibility for there actions no matter what happens. Now I think a toxic work place is when you are always being belittled or put down. Also when you are getting taken advantage of. This from your boss or co-workers is a sign to leave your job. I also think the society as a whole is way to entitled and full of themselves. But you never know what someone's going through either. When presented with something like this you should look at both side.

  86. Monica Alvarez-Cunningham

    I think this post places the blame in the wrong place. Employees now are less likely to put up with bad behavior. Maybe not “every” workplace is toxic, but I have definitely seen both types of workplaces and toxic ones do abound, and no one should be forced to put up with that. If you think 120 hours is generous, that’s concerning.

  87. Lori Laurito Betz

    “Anonymous”

    Yup. Comment checks out.

  88. Anonymous
  89. Laura Ammons

    I think the issue is that every work place is toxic under our oppressive and toxic capitalist system. We don't have a living minimum wage and most of us are stressed beyond our ability to function all the time.

  90. Marcia Smith

    I have 2 employers that are incredibly caring and compassionate - all.the.time! I know this is rare - to have an employer that focuses on self-care, work/life balance, understanding and compassionate responses to life crises - but SO many employers want to treat their employees like robots. enough is enough!!

  91. Anonymous

    Every day, employees are making themselves more and more of a liability... headaches employers don't need.

    With AI, robotics, automation, using overseas labour, employers have many options available to them to trim their FTEs. Who can blame them for not wanting to deal with all the drama employees cause.

    There's no such thing as a "toxic work environment." What there are is:

    (a) Work environments you feel comfortable in, or

    (b) Work environments you don't feel comfortable in.

    Just because you don't feel comfortable in a particular work environment doesn't mean it is "toxic."

    Today there are too many woke employees who need to be coddled, who see their employer as their nanny, and who feel entitled.

    I'm glad to see all the layoffs happening, and I hope 2024 sees many more! Maybe eventually, employees will be grateful for having a job and stop looking for excuses for their shortcomings.

    As an adult, it is your responsibility to fit into your workplace, earn respect, and, most of all, get along with your colleagues. NOBODY is owned acceptance!

  92. Daniela Pardo

    There are also a lot of companies that think they deserve to take over people's lives and ask for more than they are willing to give and mistreat employees just to have a power trip.

    Also, Your comment about layoffs is horrifying. No wonder why you have to post anonymously. Just Remember that great resignation in 2021, it could happen again.

  93. Anonymous

    Your reply is filled with anger and negativity towards people who seek a respectful workplace. Once in a great while someone's complaint might not be valid, but I've seen a lot of mistreatments of employees allowed by major companies in my time. You should investigate a little further before you make sweeping statements about what you call "woke" employees. Your harsh attitude and lack of compassion will not help you in the workplace.

  94. Anonymous

    ok boomer

  95. rgstaffing@bellsouth.net

    I think we are forgetting who owns the house. We can always find candidates, Millennial.

  96. Anonymous

    And we can always find another employer. But it benefits YOU to have as little turnover as possible.

  97. Anonymous

    I don't understand that false sense of "ownership" when you're on your way out. You'll be replaced and retired in no time, BELLSOUTH.NET!

  98. Trish

    Wow! Just WOW! And therein lies the problem. Lol

  99. Anonymous

    I understand the intent behind employers needing efficiency, but it's important to also think about the well-being of employees. A 'toxic work environment' isn't just about being uncomfortable, it's about situations that harm an employee's mental and emotional health. Just focusing on technology and ignoring employee happiness isn't a good approach.

    Also, saying that employees should always adapt to their workplace and respect their colleagues is a bit one-sided. Employers should also create a respectful and supportive work environment. Workplaces are better when everyone is treated well and feels valued.

    And being happy about layoffs seems harsh. Layoffs can hurt people and their families. A better goal is to have a workplace where both employers and employees can do well together

  100. rgstaffing@bellsouth.net

    I totally agree with this. Let's see where we go in a recession. I feel certain that many of these people will be unemployed.

  101. Anonymous

    Yes ... it is your responsibility to be respectful and get along with your colleagues BUT what is not your responsibility is managers who lie, breadcrumb, and gaslight you and do not share vital information. When these things are reported and nothing is done about it and it is brushed under the rug, that IS a toxic workplace. In that case, your responsibility is to leave.

  102. Anonymous

    What an unsympathetic attitude! So many are mistreated by employers these days, at stressful jobs that don't pay the bills. I would bet you'd sing a different tune if it was you that was laid off.

  103. Anonymous

    I’m just going to take a wild guess that you are not actually currently employed nor have been in quite awhile. I’m not saying you don’t work, as there are many important things that women do that don’t involve receiving a paycheck from an organization. But your post shows you are in a place of naïveté and comfortable privilege.

  104. Angela

    I was on board with you until you brought up the example of your coworker. Unless this person is your direct report and shared what was going on with you, you have no idea what is going on in their life that is causing excused absences. A good manager would check in with them and ask if something is going on and how they can help/ refer them to FMLA, etc. and not just write them up. If the employee is an asset to the company, the manager should have jumped in early to figure out how to work with them/ address the absences. Sounds like your company’s time off policy and management style is pretty outdated, as well as the definition of “generous” time off. Your work place sounds like it would constitute as a toxic work environment for many.

  105. Anonymous

    The fact that someone shows up to complain about complaints already feels really toxic to me.

    It has such a "kids these days!!" attitude.

  106. Anonymous

    I totally agree.

  107. Jason Lee

    There was a post on here from an employee that had the same last name as a candidate the company was interviewing. The hiring manager from the company asked the employee if they were related, because of last name. Now this name was of African heritage and very common in her region, like 'Smith' or 'Johnson' in the USA.

    The employee was offended by the question and wanted to see if she should report this hiring manager to HR (for lack of diversity awareness?) Was this a toxic workplace? It certainly seemed to be for her, but the original post has since been deleted.

  108. Anonymous

    That seems awfully invasive - but social media is out in the public eye...so......

  109. Heidi Fischer

    Would they have asked the same question if the two interviewees' last names were "Smith" instead? Somehow, I doubt it.

  110. Anonymous

    I believe the concept of a 'toxic workplace' has become more prominent not because all workplaces are inherently toxic, but because employees are increasingly aware of and assertive about their rights and the value of their contributions.

    For years, the balance of power favored employers, but we now see a necessary shift toward employee empowerment. This change is about seeking fair, balanced, and equitable treatment in the workplace. It's about recognizing and challenging corporate practices that may prioritize profit over people.

    Asserting one's value and refusing to accept unfair conditions isn't about evading responsibility, it's about demanding a work environment where respect and fairness are central. Challenging the norm and advocating for such changes is crucial for creating healthier, more productive workplaces. I'm here for it!

  111. Anonymous

    Thank you!!! I have been feeling the same way.

  112. Anonymous

    You’re fortunate that you’ve clearly never experienced a truly toxic work environment. I get what you’re saying, I really do. I believe the toxicity lies in the managerial culture and/or managerial style. Gaslighting, harassment, bullying, discrimination, etc are all very real and don’t necessarily mean everyone who uses the term

    toxic is just lazy and not wanting to work. I speak from experience here, after having to leave a job of 9 years that I loved because of all of the above. It was so pervasive and so bad, I sought legal help and filed with the EEOC. The company ended up offering me a settlement to avoid further legal issues. That speaks volumes. Yes, it might be an overused phrase by some, but certainly not all. It’s harmful to those affected by it in many ways— mentally, physically, financially.

  113. Anonymous

    Oooooh Lordy, Lordy!

    I'm glad I read your comment before I typed the exact thing.
    I can honestly say I've heard it sooo much "toxic, toxic, toxic" and until *right now* I never knew what it felt like!!

    Talk about *gaslighting!!* I found myself questioning if I was really the grounded person I am who knows right from wrong, and who has been doing what I know! That's how far my leader has taken his toxic gaslighting ways!! Truly making me question all that I learnt in the last 22 years of my career!

    Because of him, I've even questioned if I even truly know how to do MY job properly - job tasks which he has absolutely NO clue about.

    It took an outsider with plain common sense to point out where there was a flaw, to snap me out of the *doubting/gaslit phase" I was falling into!

    There are undoubtedly many, many toxic leaders, who spawn toxic minions... who then carry out toxic shenanigans during each workday... and that is how or why there is so much more frequent talk of toxic workplaces."

    Those who haven't experienced this horrid phenomenon are either 1) at a truly great workplace, 2) are one of the minons, or 3) has mastered the skill of iron-clad insulation from negative vibes!

  114. Anonymous

    Same here. I had stress related health problems, and my employer refused to make accommodations for my ADHD. (forced me to work in a busy office when other spaces were available). I dropped as many hints as I could that they were going to get sued. I got a year's severance and it took about 8 months to get to the point of wanting to work in my profession again.

  115. Focused301766

    We hear a lot about toxic workplaces because people tend to be vocal about complaints, not compliments. People won't reach out to a forum to say how fine and dandy your workplace is. They will, however, show up to complain about something and ask for feedback or validation.

  116. Anonymous

    I’m going to be honest, unless your post is really seeking to learn what a toxic workplace is- this just seems to be you complaining with not asking for any insight or solution. If this employee is not a direct report to you, you have no idea what they needed that time off for or if they had conversations with their manager, HR, etc. about the time needed off. It’s none of your business to be honest.

    You’re second example, I’m not sure where it’s coming from, but sounds like a complaint you received about your own conduct. If so, talk about your conduct, what makes you frustrated, and get input to know how to respond moving forward. If it’s not you, then again, you don’t know the full scope of what happened.

    If these are just others you’re talking about vaguely, then you need to stay in your lane and not gossip about them- which is exactly part of what a toxic workplace is. If you’re this negative about where you work and coworkers that you don’t know all the details about, then you’re part of the problem.

  117. Anonymous

    It's not the work place it's the leadership. And a great place to work can deteriorate quickly when terrible leadership is given power. I worked for 17 years at a wonderful place in a wonderful job but spent the last 9 clawing my way out because of new leadership. People leave terrible bosses not places.

  118. Anonymous

    ...or one toxic manager or department. Bystanders may have no idea what's going on.

  119. Krystal Douglas

    I think it’s important to understand just because you haven’t had the experience, or had it as often does not make others’ experience valid. While there may be perks to every job, the reality is most corporations are not paying people what they’re worth & many people are overworked and underpaid. I feel it is worth being careful and thoughtful of how we consider others expression of experience, because we cannot relate or maybe we are around more people doing well than not— that does not mean it’s a reflection of reality for the masses. There’s a lot of nuance missing when discussing workplaces that tie into our socioeconomic structures & the issues within how laws are, and many blind items that are ignored. While I hear you, I think maybe it would do you some good to listen. No one wants to be stuck in a cycle of bad work environments & bad managment. No one enjoys not feeling valued or paid their worth. I get this may be for something specific you saw but we need to be more thoughtful.

  120. Krystal Douglas

    Make others’ experiences invalid*. And I think it’s ironic that those who agree with those post are mostly anon as well. Standing firmly on “a lot of these places” aren’t actually toxic and it’s employees aren’t being held accountable based in what’s statistic or fact? You feel those who complain are not correct and their feelings are not fact, but neither are yours. To you and those who agree, count your blessings you’ve had privilege enough to A, not experience what those “complaining” have, or B, are in position to just call it normal workplace things. To be in position to tell others basically to suck it up is a privilege you clearly cannot see. And I think that the next time you feel annoyed maybe lead with empathy so that you find common ground and understanding, because from where I’m sitting, this is not a great look.

  121. Heidi Fischer

    Thank you. I truly don't understand why people are so quick to condemn those who report that they experience workplace toxicity/unfairness/ect., but excuse (or ignore) these corporations' poor pay/benefits and labor practices. Is it really that hard to understand that people can and do have differing experiences?

    I suspect a lot of people don't realize how depressingly few workers' protections there are in the US in comparison to the rest of the industrialized world. That fact alone facilitates toxicity.

  122. Anonymous

    There are undoubtedly many, many toxic leaders, who spawn toxic minions... who carry out toxic shenanigans during each workday, and that is how or why there is so much more frequent talk of toxic workplaces."

    Those who haven't experienced this phenomenon are either 1) at a truly great workplace, 2) are one of the minons, or 3) has mastered the skill of iron-clad insulation from negative vibes!

    I have an extremely toxic leaders... and there are minions... even had me question my own basic understanding of the entire world!

    Trust me, it is happening... a sickening lot!!

  123. Juanita James

    AMEN, tell it to the people in the back!!!!!

  124. Anonymous

    I have experienced both sides of the coin, amazing supportive management and then psychologically abusive management. Both workplaces exist. I agree some ‘toxic’ people will ultimately blame the workplace rather than themselves but try to have some compassion for the people who have genuinely been through hell at work.

  125. Anonymous

    Is the employee your direct report? If not, mind your business.its their right to use the time, especially if its for an accommodation.

  126. Anonymous

    If someone is calling out sick or making excuses for not coming in, every single week of his first 5 (!) months of employment, others (like the O.P.) are going to notice. And someone not being at work when they're supposed to be, is going to impact his team's productivity.

    And if the time this person was taking off really was for an accommodation, he probably wouldn't be written up, would he?

  127. Anonymous

    This isn't what the OP is talking about though.

  128. Anonymous

    Ok, but that’s not a “generous” PTO policy.

  129. Anonymous

    It is three 40-hr weeks so not bad, but not overly generous.

  130. Anonymous

    I’ve done extensive training in workplace bullying and there is a marked rise in workplace incivility and bullying.
    And, sadly, employees have little recourse. The system is set up to support the employer in most situations by placing the burden of proof on the employee.

    I work in healthcare - mental health to be exact - and am often stunned by the behaviors I have seen. So, yes, toxic workplaces are a “thing” and they can cost companies many millions of dollars each year in productivity loss, create recruitment and retention issues, and more.

  131. Anonymous

    Though I understand your point, I personally believe that is is quite rude.
    When people refer to a place as toxic, they are not referring to the benefits you get from working there such as the paid time off or discounts, they are referring to how the employees are actually treated when at work by management, other employees and customers. Respectfully, you do not know this person's reasons for being unable to work a full week and perhaps the situation was not dealt with the proper way by management.

  132. Anonymous

    Many toxic environments are blissful for some and toxic for a few. Excessive use of PTO can be due to being bullied.

  133. Anonymous

    Or someone abusing PTO. This type of behavior is very demoralizing for co-workers who don't abuse PTO. Like someone who calls out sick every Monday. We all know this happens.

  134. Anonymous

    If it's their PTO, who are you to say how they can spend it? If they want an extra day off a week, and he has the hours, leave him be, he's just being conscious of how he wants to work. I saw in another comment you mentioned him complaining about getting written up and well of course he's going to complain, everyone complains about silly little things - his routine would be broke and he would have to go back to his full hours, it's expected that there'll be an adjustment period or a bit of resistance from him.

  135. Anonymous

    the culture

  136. Anonymous

    That's the word! Thank you :)

  137. Anonymous

    If you understand their point then how is it rude? These are all opinions and one sided.

  138. Anonymous

    I can understand why someone is upset and what they mean without them being correct. Have you not watched a teacher try to teach maths before to a kid using the wrong method? The teacher understands what the kid is trying to say/do, but that doesn't make it right. And yeah, it is one sided, as is your opinion.

  139. Anonymous

    To follow on from my previous comment, here's an example for you:

    I work in a very popular supermarket and we have discounts ranging from 15% to 70% and I also get 10% discount cards to share and we get to take home for free anything with cosmetic damage they cannot sell. Furthermore, I have discounts, legal coverage for my immediate family, dentistry money back and so much more.

    Despite this, the environment I work in is toxic as hell - I get abuse from customers over awful decisions the company makes and when we give feedback asking them to change, they do not listen. I also have to do the work of 3 people and get shit on when it's not right, am lacking in some PPE, should have got fired for taking 1 sick day per company policy despite never missing a day before (my manager allocated my holidays without telling me), my manager never takes responsibility and blames people who weren't even on shift that day for mistakes that were made and so much more. These things I just listed is what makes the workplace toxic - not the benefits.

    Oh and the way my manager talks to people is unacceptable - she barely tells us when things change, has almost made so many staff quit with her rudeness and her attitude can change in a split second and she can go from happy to screaming at you over the smallest of things. There is so much more I could say but I'd be here forever listing reasons why despite the benefits, it is a toxic workplace.

  140. Anonymous

    Why in the world do you stay?? It sounds awful and not good for your well being. Please try to work at another supermarket that fits your needs. Saying prayers.

  141. Anonymous

    Thank you, I only stay because I would miss a lot of my coworkers and I'm 18 living in a small town where there aren't a lot of shops accessible by walking :)

  142. Anonymous

    Assuming you work a 9hr shift, that's only about 13 days off and 6 of those are sick days so really, you only have 7 days of actual holiday... for a whole year, that is not generous.

  143. Anonymous

    I do agree to a certain extent that 'toxic workplace' may be a bit overused. That said, I'm curious as to how you define it when you go from a paragraph saying how you see it often here and the next two describing your company's "generous" PTO (news flash: what you describe is not generous) and how one employee "abused" it.

    My question for you is what is your connection to this employee? Is she your subordinate? Are you hers? Do you rely on her solely to get your job done? If not, leave her out of your toxic workplace rant.

  144. Anonymous

    This! Agree 100%. ?

  145. Anonymous

    15 days pto a year is generous in the US. Many employees get no PTO until they've been with the company for a year.

  146. Anonymous

    Generous in relation other US companies, perhaps, but the bar for labor rights here truly is in hell.

    Every worker in the EU is guaranteed four weeks of paid vacation, regardless of their wage or how long they've been working there. The US does not require ANY PTO or maternity/paternity leave, and is actually the only developed country that does not require paid sick leave, either. We've been given a raw deal.

  147. Gem0124

    You are the definition of a toxic coworker. If you were not this person's supervisor, what's going on with them is not your concern. No, not every workplace is toxic but there are toxic people everywhere and those people can make an environment toxic for others.

  148. Anonymous

    Unless you are this person's manager or boss and had open conversations with them, I'm assuming you aren't and haven't, then you don't know what's going on with this person. Perhaps they're dealing with something, maybe something even protected by law, that you know nothing about. And maybe they are taking advantage. But it doesn't sound like it's your business by how you've written the comment. It does, however, sound like you're a contributor to said toxic workplace.

  149. Anonymous

    I said it before but I don't see that anyone read it. I am his mother in law. I honestly do know the situation. Once he is written up, he complains but then he magically doesn't need to call in again until his PTO/Sick time resets.

    He is not in my area, I just got him the interview. I didn't ask anyone to give him a shot, just to give him an interview. He has an impressive resume but apparently his worth ethic is not so great. I have been here 7 years and not one time has anyone ever been forced to work overtime/weekends, etc. It really isn't as bad as he makes it out when he is called out on his absences. He never complains about the job until then. In fact, the only thing that keeps him from being the best of the best is his attendance. I wish he would pay the $10 buck copay and just go to the doc when he calls out. Then he couldn't be written up. He just likes to push the envelope.

  150. Anonymous

    If this bothers you this much, perhaps you should have a private conversation with him about the impact on his reputation and yours, rather than anonymously slandering him online to strangers. And even if he is your son-in-law, there is no way for you to know everything going on in his life. Also keep in mind that he is allowed to have a different perspective from yours! Everyone's needs are different, and two people can have completely different viewpoints of the same situation.

  151. Anonymous

    OP, I think it would be helpful to edit your original post. Folks won’t search all the comments to see if the OP posted relevant context in the threads below. I think you’ll find that we can offer more helpful information and personal stories when everyone can easily access the same information. That said, you’ll never know what your SIL struggles with. I have a disability and I would NEVER reveal that no matter how trustworthy, close or kind the relationship is. My reason is: people make assumptions about me because of my disability. Other people may have other reasons. If your SIL has a disability they are entitled to certain legal protections— some of which may include recurrent time off. and finally, no 2 people have the same lived experience. You can work at the same employer and that doesn’t mean that you perceive the company the same way. Not even if you worked on the same team and had the same boss. I get that you are embarrassed and humiliated. You probably worry about what to say when someone approaches you. No one will mention his performance or absence to you. And if they do—they are sharing privileged information and they’re probably a jerk stirring up trouble. i always like to brush up on psychology to learn about why people do what they do. Maybe there are some great books about empathy in the work place to help increase your understanding of others live experience.

    here’s one: The Microstress Effect: How Little Things Pile Up and Create Big Problems--and What to Do about It

  152. Anonymous

    why jump straight to a problem, much less a disability? Maybe he's just lazy and likes to take advantage. People like that hurt people that truly do need accomodations.

    If he's always fine until his PTO resets - it's a pretty big stretch to give him this much leeway.

  153. Anonymous

    Its not “jumping” …. Statistically millions of people have disabilities that you can’t see. Did you know that anxiety and depression are official ADA disabilities?

    …. 1 in 4 Americans have disability, according to the CDC.

    Google can help fill your knowledge gaps.

    Maybe hes NOT fine and is holding on until PTO becomes available.

  154. Anonymous

    This is a very good example of why companies should not employee members of the same family.

  155. Anonymous

    Honestly, as his MIL, you’d be better served speaking to him one on one or maybe find out from your own child what’s going on with their spouse. I’d say you’re the very definition of a toxic coworker by running him into the ground on this forum, rather than addressing it like a professional adult. Additionally, isn’t his job performance between him

    and his boss? You made some pretty crass blanket statements stating there are no toxic workplaces, just lazy people. Thats an extremely ridiculous statement to make. This type of behavior is exactly what creates a toxic workplace! Do better. Hopefully your SIL will land in a healthy work environment where his MIL isn’t trashing him on the internet.

  156. Anonymous

    Some others have mentioned this, regardless of your connection, you still may not know the full situation. Honestly, you sound a bit biased, so you probably don't. Could he be taking advantage, yes. But the opposite can also be true. I'm assuming some of your judgmental approach comes across to him, so he may not feel comfortable opening up to you if there is another reason. Perhaps you can try a different approach?

    And there are absolutely toxic workplaces. Sounds like it's not your experience at the current job, but maybe it is his experience. Unless you walk a mile in his shoes, don't judge his journey.

  157. Anonymous

    You can judge others by your good luck.

  158. Anonymous

    That's because very few work places are toxic.

  159. Gail S. Smith

    well, that's just not been my experience.
    I've been working as a software developer for more than 30yrs and I can tell you for a fact that many, many companies have extremely toxic cultures especially high-tech companies. They just lie about it and punish those that speak up. It's amazing how much effort companies will expend to create this facade, this dreamscape of equity, unity and fairness. It's downright laughable.

    Once you get inside and after the initial glad-handing is over, you discover just how miserable everyone is and how the "values" the company has and "lives" are nothing more than propaganda. I assure you, their values are not your values.

    Pro tip:
    if you ever hear the HR staff in a company use the phrase "we didn't know anything about it" when you or a coworker try to bring issues to them and hold others accountable for their bad behavior you know you're in a toxic place and need to get out.

  160. Anonymous

    And Santa Claus is coming to town, lol.

  161. Anonymous

    I was in a very toxic office for eight years where I was verbally abused, gossiped about, and treated very poorly. I continued to work my rear end off after my overtime rate was cut in half. Six of those eight were spent trying to find another job because I refused to not have a paycheck. When I resigned, I was accused of conspiring against my boss when no one internally would take the position. They didn't bring anyone until my last day...they were given four weeks' notice. My current office is the exact opposite. I am treated like an actual human being who is appreciated. So yes, toxic workplaces do exist. They may not be each and every office, and every situation is different, but don't downplay someone else's experience, especially if you don't know the entire story.

  162. Anonymous

    Look who is being judgmental now!

  163. Anonymous

    Judge much?

  164. Anonymous

    The word toxic is rather new lexicon.

    That is true, however, there has been quite a shift in many many companies and many industries since approximately 2009 and 2010. That was during the rebound after the recession. At that point many companies began, putting in experience managers in place simply because they were cheaper than the experienced managers. They also were removing talented and senior people simply because they cost more.

    The recession led to different client and company, partnership agreements, which reduced compensation, leading to these cutbacks. In my industry, marketing and promotions, this led to many of the senior people simply leaving the industry, if they had enough money saved to do so, or they left the industry to go into different fields altogether.

    I have been working professionally for 43 years and have been really surprised at this shift. I would say that the last full-time job I left, it was due to a toxic work environment. To be quite frank, they brought in a person with a law degree but no experience in the management of marketing programs. They were trying to cut costs and have this person split between the legal department and our department. The first thing she did was target the five most senior and experienced staffers, and put them on “performance improvements programs” saying all kinds of strange and vague things like they had poor attitudes or poor work ethics when exactly the opposite was true. Clearly her task was to cut the more expensive staffers, but the company decided that the best way to do it was to try to force the people to leave on their own.

    Having been in management myself, I attended seminars where this methodology was discussed. If you want to get people to leave on their own, so you don’t have legal problems, you try to make the environment so they will make their own exit.

    Other things she did was set people up for failure, not hiring to cover new client wins, transferring people without their consent from one department to another so they had no idea what was going on, even transferring from one company to another within the holding company.
    Had I not been a manager who had learned this technique (which is largely legal by the way) I would not have known the handwriting on the wall. Immediately, when I was targeted, I got my résumé out and left on my own, and made a huge jump in salary to a company that really appreciates me.

    Two of my coworkers left on their own, but not without being in this toxic environment for a while, and two were in fact, set up to fail, and laid off under the guise that their positions were being eliminated the company instead hired 2 to 3 junior people (with different titles) for each role— and in some cases outsourcing the more complicated tasks to outside vendors, who were lapping up the experienced people who are being cut loose. Several others “retired” out of the industry.

    I don’t think this is a long-term plan for a company’s success, but it does take several years for these remaining. flaws to appear. This company example that I’m using, has only one person (from our original group of 12 ) three years later, and they seem to be in a little bit of trouble.

    It is only one small example, but it demonstrates overall how some industries are becoming more unpleasant in the workplace. When I started out in my career, companies really DID value their staff and treated everybody like family— you could stay for years and work your way up. Now it is exactly the opposite. It has become very transactional. They treat you as a pawn on a chessboard, absolutely dispensable at the drop of a hat.

    It is helpful to always remember that within certain industries that have changed this way. If initially remain with blinders on, like I did, thinking it was like the pre-recession years, you’ll be disappointed. Since then, it’s just a job.

    I still approach every day’s tasks (that I love) with happiness and joy. I love the people I work with, but never forget that tomorrow they could show me the door.

  165. Anonymous

    It's when you are hired somewhere else where your input is valued and encouraged and instead of feeling empowered, you are waiting for the other shoe to drop....

    Yeah, toxic workplaces are real. And they do real damage to an employee's future potential.

  166. Anonymous

    Dear OP,

    Your experiences do not negate experiences others may have. I have worked for great companies, those that are really rotten to the core, and some with patches of toxicity, while other areas in that particular company might have been much more tolerable. You seem to be taking one persons bad behavior and applying it to everyone who has had bad working experiences with employers. Perhaps you need to look in the mirror and take responsibility for your own bad attitudes. There are always going to be employees who take advantage of situations, just as surely as there are employers who ill-use their employees. I hate to burst your bubble but those kinds of employers do exist.

  167. Anonymous

    OP - could you please update your original post with the information you buried in here somewhere - the info about how the offending employee is actually your son-in-law?

  168. Jessica Ferland

    Of course no job is all rainbows and butterflies. Everyone has their own threshold of what they can handle. It sounds like this person is having a bad experience - have you asked her why? Maybe learn more behind why this person is out so much? That said - 120 PTO hours which is almost half sick time is not that generous.

  169. Anonymous

    I do agree that not every work place is toxic. There are bad managers, bad culture within the organization and just bad employees. This is everywhere! No place is perfect. If someone is using the PTO given then let them, you may not know the full situation. Starting out 120 hours is not bad, but do you build up from there. For those saying it's not generous this could be the starting point.

    I work for an organization where I hear the word toxic and just awful to work here, but they won't leave. I personally like my job. I would just say go in do your job and not really worry about others at the workplace. I don't and it makes my life easier just looking after myself.

  170. Anonymous

    Believe me, in over 40 years of work, I've only really experienced TWO toxic workplaces. They made my life a living hell. Looking back, the ones who weren't toxic were fully vested in helping me be successful, sometimes they were critical but it made me self-examine and get on track because most of the time, it was a true view of my performance. Sometimes employees perceive any bias as a toxic environment. That is best left to each person to decide how much "crap" they're willing to deal with. With both these toxic places I was at, I agressively searched to move on and find another job elsewhere but I made sure HR and legal were involved. I believe I actually busted up one of the toxic environments. Neither could ever entice me to work for those companies again for any amount of money. In the end, you decide based on culture, fit, personalities, etc what works best. Toxic to one person is not necessarily toxic to another.

  171. Anonymous

    Didn't see the context of family employees in the original post.

  172. Lori

    Your correct…not every workplace is a toxic one. I’ve worked in probably one actual toxic workplace. The owner of a well known game company (big box stores and Barnes and nobles Carrie’s them.) I started at a few years ago would walk around the office screaming, yelling and swearing at employees insulting them when he wanted something immediately. He expected everyone to be there by 8am and no one could leave the office until he did which was 6pm or they’d be written up! My 6th day there on one of his tirades screamed at me and asked wtf did the hire me for when I didn’t know where their sales rep list was. (Their systems were stuck in the 1990’s.) The office had rodents. I’d find their droppings on my desk and urine in my drawers and the cherry on top was a bullet hole at eye level in my window that’d I’d find out had been there for 6 months and the rat problem was know. But nothing done about it. Place was a pack rat hole and not cleaned out in decades. When the owner was away on travel, employees were smiling, happy, friendly and collaborative, but when he was there everyone stayed in inter cubes silently with heads down. The final straws were when I was called into his office when he bad mouthed his VP (who hired me) calling him an f’ing dumbA and when I suggested to make use Microsoft 365 cloud for everyone to be on the same page…he laughed at me looked at the window and said what if it rains holding out his hand rolling his eyes In a condescending mocking tone laughing walking away. I lasted 2 weeks, the first week he was overseas on business. And half the second he was holed up in his office. By the following Monday after that I resigned. Things weren’t going to change and there was barely an hr person. The VP was a half way across the country only coming to the office once a month for a few days (he quit too 6 months later.) I was the first to leave and within a month or two the other 4 people hired with me also quit. So THAT was truly a toxic work environment if there ever was one.

  173. Anonymous

    No, it’s not about things “not going your way” - though, wouldn’t that be nice if that’s all it were. There is a toxic cultural norm evolving in Corporate America and it’s not good. Quieting, bullying, seems to have replaced good leadership. It’s sad but true and I have seen my coworkers experience this first hand.

  174. Anonymous

    I'm curious, how many companies have you worked in recently?

  175. Anonymous

    The OP has provided context in the threads below that the employee in question is their son in law, whom they referred to the job. This is the person whose work ethic they are calling into question. They’ve been asked to update the orig post with this information. I wonder, what do they stand to gain by omitting this relevant information? Well, it seems that there are lots of folks reinforcing their beliefs about workplaces being toxic or not— rather than receiving insight surrounding the appropriateness of the mother in law criticizing their SIL.

  176. Anonymous

    She wants backup that no workplace is toxic, it's only toxic people. I hope what she actually takes away from this is to never recommend a family member for a job.

  177. Anonymous

    Exactly, the OP is looking for reinforcement that her son in law is under performing.

  178. Anonymous

    I'm sorry, but taking excessive time off in the first few months of employment IS under-perfoming. Especially as apparently there wasn't an accommodation put in place that would allow him to do so without consequence.

  179. Anonymous

    Taking time off that is available to you is never underperforming.

  180. Anonymous

    And the problem the O.P. is having is partly the result of hiring because of connection rather than skills/past experience.

  181. rgstaffing@bellsouth.net

    I never hear this from any of the candidates that I place. I think this forum attracts and is open mike for the disgruntled who want validation from other disgruntleds.

  182. Anonymous

    People won’t mention toxic workplaces to a recruiter because of the bias that we see here in this thread. Just because no one has discussed it with you doesn’t mean that it’s not true. I think this forum attracts boomers whose only advice is “buck up” and maintaining the status quo in the workplace.

  183. rgstaffing@bellsouth.net

    Not true at all. Many boomers are retired. And yes, you do need to buck up if you want to be successful in your career.

  184. Anonymous

    Good grief! Of course they wouldn't mention this to you as a recruiter. Everything mentioned during an interview is supposed to be framed in a positive light.

  185. rgstaffing@bellsouth.net

    I have very few fall throughs. And yes, they do tell me why they are looking to leave. Various reasons.

  186. Anonymous

    People often make up reasons to put themselves and their situation in a positive light

  187. Krystal Douglas

    Again, your experience and others isn’t mutually exclusive. Just because you don’t hear it from those you place doesn’t mean it does not exist. This rhetoric is so nasty when there are so many recruiters and managers alike who are validating that they also see this.

  188. Anonymous

    You’re kidding, right? What candidate in their right mind is going to tell you- the recruiter— all about their workplace from hell? It’s why most people seek out recruiters- to look for a better opportunity, less toxicity, etc. Rule #1….HR is NEVER your friend, that goes for recruiters as well. No offense, you have a job to do and you get paid to place candidates— whether someone is coming from or going into a toxic environment, you get paid all the same. Most candidates won’t share all the grisly details of the horrific verbal abuse, discrimination, bullying, etc that they’ve encountered.

  189. rgstaffing@bellsouth.net

    that is really not true. I really do not encounter people like you just described, thankfully.

  190. Anonymous

    You mean you don't encounter that *side* of people

  191. Anonymous

    Don’t wear a shoe that doesn’t fit. The post isn’t directed at you.

  192. Farah Bajwa

    While I would agree with other commenters saying that your experiences are not representative of your coworkers, perhaps you can channel yours by leaving good feedback and reviews on site like glassdoor.com, or even google.

  193. Anonymous

    The posts are going to be biased because why would you post for advice if everything is fine and dandy?

    But you are also biased (comes across in your post) - YOU are fine but because you have the belief that its employees at fault, you will value evidence that supports your beliefs and discount that that does not.

    There are toxic workplaces and there are toxic people in workplaces (like people who refuse to take accountability) and not every situation is the same - sometimes there's just a department which is bad and the rest are lovely but there are also perfect places to work if you find the correct "fit" for you.

  194. Anonymous

    I'm doing a research paper on this very topic for my coaching certification!

    No, not every workplace is toxic. A toxic workplace needs 3 things: Toxic manager, System to support it, Individuals putting up with the toxicity.

    That said, LOTS of industries are hurting right now and are under stress - it's a bad behavior palooza. Lots of places that are typically ok and healthy just aren't right now. It's not just you. In the research for my paper, I've heard of TONS of places that are normally magical being havens of toxic behavior. Why? We're stressed by the economy and PTSD from the pandemic.

    Same thing happened in 2008. Unfortunately workplaces haven' t learned because LOTS of money got paid out for sexist and racist behaviors after that time...

    But on the flip, there are toxic individuals who aren't the manager, too...

    Although in the case of this employee, do they have a chronic health issue? Something else going on? Hard to comment on that person without more information about their reality and why they were taking time off (like a toxic boss that was causing them stress - toxic managers do cause medical problems to their staff)

  195. Saudia Santure

    I think toxic can be a result of the employer/ employee specifically. that is, what is toxic for one person is not necessarily toxic for another. I have friends in the same company who have experienced a toxic situation/ work colleagues, who do not have that same affect on me. Their workplace is toxic (to them), but not to me.

    Just a different way of thinking about it.

  196. Anonymous

    Hollywood pays great but oftentimes it isn’t worth the invasion of privacy, safety & peace of mind.

  197. Barbara Sonin

    A staff member let me spend many hundreds of dollars on a certification for her while she was interviewing elsewhere. When I mentioned that I was disappointed she didn't let me know she was looking for a better opportunity, she said "this has become a toxic workplace", and left immediately instead of completing her notice period. This after I had held her job during several months of maternity leave, even though we're so small I didn't have to and it was difficult to manage without a person in her position. So I tend to agree with the poster.

  198. Anonymous

    Held her job while on maternity leave - sorry, but not gonna applaud you for just being a decent human there.

  199. Anonymous

    Well said

  200. Anonymous

    This is exactly how toxic all workplaces are under capitalism - we will get away with paying you as little as we legally can, giving you as few benefits as we legally can, and then expect loyalty. Sorry, not sorry, you sound like a very toxic boss to me.

  201. Anonymous

    The thing is she doesn't realize that her attitude of she owes me for doing common decency *is* toxic. No one owes any employer who would replace them if they could do better, any loyalty.

  202. Ashley M

    That thinking is toxic and if everyone held that belief every single job on planet earth would be horrible. Why would any company provide decent retention plans if that’s how all employees acted? There is no scenario that is healthy where BOTH parties aren’t expected to act in good faith. She was never expecting the employee to stay forever. She was expecting an adult to have healthy communication about her wants/desires and to be able to articulate how the job wasn’t fulfilling them. You’re right that has she known the training may not have happened, but she could also helped that person get to the next step with a good relationship.

  203. Anonymous

    In most cases, it’s not safe to complain about the work environment. It’s managements job to make sure people feel safe. If you’re part of the problem, the advice is usually to get out of there.

  204. Ashley M

    Wow there are some bitter Betties here. I think it’s the ignorance of not having run their own small business before. she wasn’t asking for kudos, she was saying that courtesy (as well as horrible toxicity) goes both ways. Treat others how you would want to be treated!

  205. Anonymous

    I would say that the person who complains about training her employee only for the employee to leave is the Bitter Betty. You don't pay for training for your employees because you expect them to work for you forever; you do it because it helps the employees grow. If you want to retain your employees, you have to treat them kindly and make sure that the workplace you create is in line with their needs and goals.

  206. Anonymous

    presumably the certification was transferable and increases the marketability of the employee.
    It was disingenuous to accept a training at the employer’s expense likely knowing she was going to leave. Accusing her employer of creating a toxic workplace was a way to excuse her own unprofessional behavior. I don’t see the employer is the problem in this scenario.

  207. Anonymous

    It's not disingenuous to accept training at all. The employer obviously wanted the employee to undergo the training. Why would an employee turn down free training? That would raise a lot of red flags.

    We don't have the context to know how long the training was or what the circumstances around the employee's departure were. The employee might have intended to stay at her job when she started the training. Even if she didn't, she would have no idea how long it would take to find a new job. Why would she disclose her intent to leave to her employer, unless she had confidence that the employer could and would do something to create a better environment?

    Accepting training provided by your employer is not unprofessional. Mistreating your employees, being frustrated when they refuse to accept your mistreatment and leave for greener pastures, and then allowing your bitterness to fuel a rant to numerous strangers about a former employee whose work you were clearly happy with is unprofessional.

  208. Anonymous

    Absolutely not. Clearly you have never owned your own business. Nobody wants to invest in an employee so they can immediately take that investment out the door. That would be stupid & the business would not be around long. You invest in your employees as a benefit to your company. Why is it so difficult to understand this relationship?

  209. Anonymous

    If you treat your employees well, they're unlikely to leave. They can get training anywhere, or even pay for it themselves. If you want them to stay, treat them well.

  210. Anonymous

    EXACTLY! They can leave at will just as they are employed at will. All you can do is give them your best and create a SAFE work environment! Discipline only those who TRULY deserve it and have consistently gotten away with it. Do NOT start treating GOOD employees like those bad employees -by suddenly getting petty over every single little thing they and forcing them to quit. One day you might give that person a heart attack or cause serious harm to them when you gaslight them. There is NO place where BULLYING is acceptable. You have the right to let people go without putting them through the wringer. Grow a pair and learn how to be KIND.

  211. rgstaffing@bellsouth.net

    She won't be able to keep a job.

  212. Anonymous

    When you pay for a service - getting your carpets cleaned or groceries delivered or a plumbing repair - do you want to the best service for the lowest price you can find or do you want to intentionally overpay for the service? As a good steward of my money, I want to find the best service provider for the lowest cost. I do want the cost to be fair to them, I'm not trying to cheat them, but I'm also not going to give them more than the service is worth. I am going to make my money go as far as I can. Why do people expect something different from employers? These are for profit businesses. Stop with the double standards.

  213. Anonymous

    The trades you mentioned are on an occasional basis with multiple customers, not a 40-hour work week from one company/customer.

    You want to monopolize talent this way, then you have to pay the price. It’s simple business 101.

  214. Anonymous

    Service providers with different levels of experience provide different qualities of service. Someone with bargain basement prices is unlikely to provide the same level of service and care as someone with higher rates and good reviews. There are always exceptions to this rule, but often paying a bit more will get you significantly better service.

  215. rgstaffing@bellsouth.net

    These are the bottom feeders. Terrible candidate market at this level.

  216. Anonymous

    Wow. Rude much.

  217. Anonymous

    You as a leader have to take accountability, it comes with the territory. Emotions must left out of it at all costs.

    Clearly this is an organizational issue, hence you mentioned “we’re so small”.

    The real issue is lack of leadership skills on top of lack of management skills.

  218. Anonymous

    You sound like a nightmare.

  219. Anonymous

    What’s so great about generous PTO when you’re too overworked to use it.

  220. Anonymous

    What's so great about abusing the system & not working a full week for the first five months of employment? Excessive absenteeism is unfair to the company & your co-workers who have to pull your load.

  221. rgstaffing@bellsouth.net

    they will terminate that person as well they should/

  222. Anonymous

    More gems by bellsouth.net

  223. Anonymous

    wow, rude much?

  224. Anonymous

    And the employer loses by spending even more money for a replacement hire instead of an addition so they would never be put in the position where the ENTIRE team has to pull someone else’s load. Incompetent management never takes accountability.

  225. Anonymous

    first- I think you are conflating presence with performance.Second- Certain types of leave and conditions are protected by law. The presence of that condition does not predict performance. third- missing work for a condition is not “unfair” to other team members. Managers have levers they can pull in these circumstances.

  226. Anonymous

    Employers have policies for PTO and a structure THEY designed, which the employee has no control over. To be FAIR, be REALISTIC.

  227. Anonymous

    Still job hunting... I will make sure to be an employee who has good work ethics and a good coworker to others. :D

  228. Anonymous

    That's awesome, and so do I have a good work ethic, but we have to get hired to prove that. Good luck to you, Fellow Job Seeker!

  229. IHATECHEWY ANDINGRAMCONTENTGROUP

    I think HR has become the one guilty of "someone else's fault". I've never heard an HR member or manager take responsibility for their bad behavior. They always blame the subordinates for quitting instead of doing some self reflection and realizing that maybe if they wanted them to remain an employee they should have been more respectful and less of a power tripping jackass.

    There has been zero accountability for atrocious behavior from HR members and managers at my jobs. They have caused very good employees to quit and always spin it so they themselves are the victims and the good working employee is to blame.

    I think companies should do some self reflection and look in the mirror instead of blaming every person who decides to leave their company.

  230. Anonymous

    Excellent point.

    I am a supervisor here at my company. This weekend I had to let's say "bend" some rules. It was pretty manual work. It was a matter of if it didn't get done, we would miss an important shipment. The gentleman that works for me wanted to do it for me. I refused to let him. Not because I am some "I can do anything a man can do", it was because I am in a position of authority and if someone was going to get in trouble, it certainly wasn't going to be one of my people.

    It turns out no rule was broken so there was no punishment to be issued. Like you mentioned though, I take full responsibility for my team. The first book I read in leadership was by Simon Sinek. It said "Good leaders share the credit when things go well and accept responsibility when they don't". I don't know why that has just stuck in my gut. It has worked though. I have a team that will fight for me because I am willing to fight for them.

    Unfortunately in today's society, many people are promoted simply because of seniority and that is the absolute wrong reason to promote. Some people are not cut out to be in management because as you said, the "title" goes to their head and they don't know how to handle it.

    I always tell my team, some have no desire to be in management. We don't have to be in management to be leaders. I want a team of leaders. I want a team that other departments look at and think of when they look to fill an opening. I'll take a leader over a manager any day.

Fairygodboss VIP
Achieve your career goals.
Be part of the largest online career community for women to find jobs, advice, and support — for free.
Fairygodboss members