Stopped caring and quiet quit

77 Comments

1. Julie HagerOctober 21,2023 at 12:19PM UTC

   I'd go...just cant be unemployed so that's a challenge. There are way too many companies like this and they don't because of people in my very situation

2. AnonymousOctober 21,2023 at 12:56PM UTC

   I feel this deeply.
   You will want to make sure you know the metrics and expectations of your job position/duties then build your work day around completing just the things that need done that day. I'm in a quota environment so this is easy, complete X in a day. If you are in a position that is not as clear then you may need to take some time to break down your day into time brackets so you are being productive all day while not adding that extra stress to yourself.

   Some companies like to review your online activity for "wage theft" for inactive or unproductive time during your work day. This is less common at in office positions, so if you are in office it's easier to "look busy" if you complete tasks earlier than expected while WFH you really have to pace yourself to match the time slots set out.

   *edited for typo

3. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 1:10PM UTC

   fantastic advice that I needed to hear this morning. ?

4. Diana AndreOctober 21,2023 at 1:11PM UTC

   Well, I have been in a very similar situation where my health has been affected because of the stressful and toxic environment. People can be very very cruel but please know that the same way you got this job, no matter what, you can find another where you are appreciated and not just tolerated. Although it sucks to truly care about your work and the company but it is not reciprocated you need to be where you are celebrated. So here's some things I would suggest:1. Make peace with the fact that you are aware that this is simply not a good fit and they are going in a different direction that does not involve you. 2. Journal and get some counseling (EAP benefits help and covers cost) 3. Do the work but be conscious of what you are doing, do what is expected don't waste energy on anything that is truly not required of you. Unless, you uncover a training of sorts that would help you gain more skills to make yourself more marketable.4. Look at this as the huge divine sign that perhaps you may need to shift gears "what do you want to truly do?" Life is short use your energy to focus on this answer, explore, you don't have to figure it all out. Is there something from what you are doing that you really love but maybe need to get more training or certifications for or is there a hobby that you think you can turn into a business, or a new field that you are interested in learning more about that you could perhaps take a course for. There's a woman bilionaire that came to speak to a group and I never forgot what she said "thank God for being uncomfortable" because that is exactly what led her to becoming a billionaire. She kept getting passed up for promotions, training others only to watch them get promoted, and she decided to put her energy elsewhere, she started exploring other things on her time off until eventually she turned her new passion into a business and where she was now in a place her business could sustain her so she left the job and it was in this journey which opened her up to new opportunities that led to her ultimately becoming one of the richest women in the world. It is time to focus on "you."Remember, take it step by step. Even though it is a tough job market, keep putting your resume out, network, if you love your field then update your resume and apply. You have options. Working on you will help to reinvigorate you and make you feel hopeful. Unfortunately, the fact is they probably want to see you miserable because not acknowledging people and such are used as tactics to get you to quit. When you are happy, feeling hopeful that actually will get their attention and will have them wondering, but by that point who cares. It is about you finding your way and finding what is fulfilling to you. I hope you find your way and embark on a beautiful journey of prosperity :)

5. AnonymousOctober 21,2023 at 2:18PM UTC

   I am in the same situation. Old boss was fired. New boss is arrogant and makes a lot of mistakes and has only once owned that mistake. She is a first time manager and has hired due to political reasons. Ive done a lot of work and I have felt the same. I am just going to float until I find a new opportunity as I don't want to lose a pay check. One of our team just resigned yesterday, without a job lined up, so I know I am not the only one. I am just a creating a strategy to leave, signed up for a class to add to my skillset and have been applying left and right. Hoping to make a move soon.

6. AnonymousOctober 21,2023 at 5:45PM UTC

   YES! I am doing the same thing. At some point, I realized I was being exploited because I cared too much and they don't deserve that extra care because they certainly weren't going to pay it back.

   I applaud you and wish us both luck on finding a better job.

7. Nicole CarritaOctober 22,2023 at 12:46PM UTC

   It’s really sad when you feel like you’re not being respected or appreciated for going the extra mile. Good luck finding a better job and keep us updated.

8. AnonymousOctober 22,2023 at 12:43PM UTC

   I’m starting a new job tomorrow after being in a toxic environment at my last company. Things were fine for many years but the management switch late last year bred toxicity. I started quiet quitting in Feb, signed up for a few online classes that I took over the summer (co paid for part), completed them in August and signed a new offer letter in September. I gave my previous company NUMEROUS opportunities but it fell on deaf ears. So if you get the chance….quiet quit AND level up.

9. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 12:32AM UTC

   Yes, this!!!

10. Barbara FiorellaOctober 22,2023 at 1:01PM UTC

    Quiet quitting as well.

11. GirlBossanova934974October 22,2023 at 1:09PM UTC

    I see no reason to stick around an organization or company that you don't feel valued. Instead of "quiet quitting", I would spend my time looking for other jobs. If the company is big enough, transfers to other divisions or groups are another opportunity. Just load up a good resume on Indeed.com and you should start seeing 4-6 emails/day coming through to you which you apply to. No reason to be miserable here. You should also keep a good profile up to date on LinkedIn.

12. AnonymousOctober 22,2023 at 1:16PM UTC

    I could have written this EXACT post, word for word. In my case, we are having a mass layoff in the next two weeks and I was the first person to throw my hand up and volunteer. Fingers crossed. When you leave a situation like this, you don’t realize the magnitude of what you were in until you are gone.

13. AnonymousOctober 22,2023 at 1:57PM UTC

    After reading that post, I'm fairly certain we are on the same management team. Same situation here. My strategy is to enjoy the holidays and starting the job search process on Jan 1st with more of a focus on corporate culture in my next destination.

14. AnonymousOctober 22,2023 at 1:59PM UTC

    I'm in the same exact place in my job. We keep on being switched to another region. New regional corporate in all the time. They say we're doing "phenomemal" but yet keep making changes. I work extremely hard to keep up with my daily tasks but I'm so tired of it all. I'm thinking of finding a work from home job but don't want to start over again. I don't know what to do, either.

15. AnonymousOctober 22,2023 at 2:01PM UTC

    Reading these comments about people just upping and leaving. Or throwing their résumé out there knowing full well they’ll just get another job. I hope you count your blessings and know how lucky you are to know that you will get another job. If you’re ever in a position of authority where you can hire, please remember us ladies over 50. We have to suck it up on jobs like this because we can’t quit. This is my life now.

16. AnonymousOctober 22,2023 at 2:24PM UTC

    Truth!!! I wish that ageism was not a thing but for women if you are over 40 you are stupid, especially in tech. Where I currently work they hired a guy right out of college to be the manager over development about 3 years ago . He will be promoted to IS Director when he gets his masters which should be in the next year or so. He is constantly telling me that I don’t need to know about how something works because it is too technical. I have been working in IT for over 20 years. I am currently a tester. Before he became manager I had database access but after he became manager I don’t have database access because it is too technical and sql is complicated.

17. AnonymousOctober 22,2023 at 4:57PM UTC

    I apologize that I laughed at your pain but "SQL is complicated" made me laugh. SQL is so complicated that many database management systems are working to implement AI to write the SQL for you. SO, yeah, post-college tech bro, go ahead and hang your hat on SQL knowledge being equal to your superiority. Good luck with that!

    But seriously, I get this too. I recently had a younger person at my workplace come in and spend 10 minutes telling me that they had advanced degrees (so do I, we are all an overeducated lot where I work) and then instruct me during the meeting on how to write a simple memo in front of everyone. I was just quiet. I can't be bothered with that nonsense anymore.

    I have even thought of leaving pure tech for something tech adjacent to eliminate this bias because I am tired of being made to feel stupid all the time by people with far less experience and far bigger egos.

    And as I am looking for another job right now, I see the younger managers just assume I don't have skills. Never mind that I was writing SQL when they were in diapers OR that I remember the work that went into on-prem servers before they waltzed up a laptop and accessed the cloud.

18. monica mottOctober 22,2023 at 2:44PM UTC

    I’m over 50 and did just this. I took a chance and it paid off! I know it’s difficult and maybe I just got lucky. I also have worked in the same industry for almost 30 years in the same position. so that may also play a factor

19. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 1:04PM UTC

    I am moving to a different position in my mid-50s and hoping for the best. Last week in original position, moving to something new within the same company. I applied at least 25+ different jobs to get this one which is more entry level but hoping for upward momentum.

20. Amy GrimshawOctober 22,2023 at 2:20PM UTC

    Maybe they don’t want you to care. Nobody likes the overachiever!! Do as much as everyone else and nothing more.

21. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 3:03AM UTC

    I agree with what you’ve said. More often than not when a company makes a change in format or management, it always is met with some skepticism from those in a subordinate role. In cases like this, until you’re told otherwise, it’s best to keep your head down and do your job (lol)

22. AnonymousOctober 22,2023 at 2:41PM UTC

    I just did this very thing. My former Firm merged with a larger firm. New firm said they wanted someone proactive etc. so I killed myself coming up with strategies, re-organization of staffing etc. fell on deaf ears. Got passed around and then found out they didn’t even consider me part of that department. There were many other things as well. I made the decision to take a lesser salary and lower position in the same industry. It paid off. Two months into the job I got a promotion due to my skills and foresight and am now making even more than I was at my prior job. Sometimes taking that leap is worth it in the end!

23. AnonymousOctober 22,2023 at 2:43PM UTC

    I'm retired now but unfortunately when these changes take place the failure of new management, or any level new management for that matter, don't take the time to go to the grown level of business where the pillar of the success (it's workers) lies. New management come with a plan, that can include nihilating where the success occurred. On the other hand, for current management that remain (fighting for survival) partner with the new to remove dead weight; meaning poor performers. The latter is not bad as long as they're keeping the best on both side of the organizations.

24. AnonymousOctober 22,2023 at 3:49PM UTC

    Good for you. I have tried working in healthcare in two large companies that treated their paper pushers like crap. I was doing this as extra income for us, it has been years since I been in the workplace and I was shocked just horrible people are to one another. It’s beyond sad. Managers are truly beyond horrible people, I think if I had to ever work again I would just end it. It’s awful.

25. AnonymousOctober 22,2023 at 4:58PM UTC

    I am in the exact same position at my company. I applaud you for putting yourself first. Your mental health is more important than appeasing idiots. Good luck in your job search!!

26. Anita SatkiewiczOctober 22,2023 at 6:32PM UTC

    I have heard different definitions of 'quiet quitting', so I am not sure what you mean. It sounds to me like you are too overworked to continue in that manner, and that you are taking a step back to put your health first (cutting back on excessive hours). I would definitely recommend doing that, since I had a close call last year with my health from overwork. We all need to set boundaries, especially while working remotely. I was never able to do that.

27. AnonymousOctober 22,2023 at 7:46PM UTC

    I feel similar - but my situation is a bit different. I started this job immediately after graduating college. I was offered the lowest base for my position and I accepted. I have shown my work ethic and my abilities to the company and they now that I am an asset now to them. The company is small with around 12 employees but the work load is beyond immense, making us severely understaffed and there is no organized management. This means I wear many hats and overwork myself in order to keep the ball from dropping. Either way it makes my job hard. Recently our social media strategist quit from one day to the next. This entire job fell into my hands without any conversations with upper management. I am working two full time positions for less pay than I would want for one of them. They rephrase this lack of compensation as a path of "Professional development" rather than providing more financial compensation which has been noted 'is not in the budget'. I have a convenient routine to work and like my coworkers, but I am burned out every day and get dumped everyone's work on a daily basis. I can't understand the excuse of not paying me more because of 'lack of experience' when I am getting asked to do large scale tasks. I definitely feel trapped but I am looking at the positive side of getting the hardcore exposure and experience in the industry. I think the best answer is to start my own company to put my hard work into something I can trust.

28. CassieOctober 22,2023 at 9:04PM UTC

    I always try to rescue, likely a responsible child of alcoholic compulsion! And I like problem solving. But get some support on defining a project thats not working, and say "I think I can fix this" but DONT START working on it or explaning. Wait for their curiosity. And document Before and After, so you can say youre proud you helped. Meantime, be active some elsewhere, and take a management course or lead a class or something leading to your development! then you'll have time for periodic ship saving, but not invisibly. Wish I listened to myself...!!

29. AnonymousOctober 22,2023 at 10:23PM UTC

    i could be doing much more and feel stuck in the same environment as you are. It is not quite as bad, but I feel only a fraction of my brain is being used for tedious busy work tasks. But the benefits are good!

30. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 2:52AM UTC

    As a mom I would do anything for fractional use of my brain lol what kind of job do you have ? Does it pay well? May need to look into this.

31. AnonymousOctober 22,2023 at 10:59PM UTC

    I've been on both sides of this. When new management came in, I was very angry about the changes and convinced nothing they wanted to do could work. I was so convinced that I didn't try to adopt any of the changes and, of course, they didn't work when people fought the change. But, I realized that the company and I were on different paths. Now, I'm the one trying to make the changes and dealing with people who don't want to help make the changes. Give them a fair chance and if you don't see eye to eye, it is time to move on.

32. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 1:49PM UTC

    I completely agree. I have been on both sides as well.

    I was so fed up with feeling lost in the shuffle, so I let it affect my work. I blamed it on a toxic environment but honestly it was so much more. I was on the verge of being let go. I decided to go speak to my boss' boss. It was eye opening. I learned more about the direction of the company and how my position played a role. I decided at that point to come in every day with a better attitude. I feel like what you look for, you find. If you look for reasons to be upset, that is all you are going to find. It does have an effect.

    Since then I have been promoted 2 times.

    I would make sure you have employment before leaving. It is easier to find a job if you have one. Also make sure it won't affect your family if you are unalbe to find a position. My granny would say "don't cut off your nose to spite your face".

    Good luck, I hope you find a perfect new job or get the appreciation you deserve at your current job!

33. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 12:17AM UTC

    yes, it's ok to no longer care. that doesn't mean that you're not doing the work asked of you, being polite, punctual, honest and responsible. But, in order to save your sanity, you're not killing it any more. and that's ok. Yes, I've done this and yes, it totally saved my sanity. I just kept telling myself every day: "This is not my forever home, so I'll consider this a 'learning experience'"....saved my sanity. Good luck!

34. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 12:29AM UTC

    Absolutely save your energy for applying to jobs, amending your resume/cover letters, and networking/talking to recruiters. Do the ABSOLUTE BARE MINIMUM so you won’t get fired but can leave on your schedule, not theirs. Worked for me! Been promoted twice and am super engaged in my work at the new company. You got this!!

35. AnonymousOctober 25,2023 at 12:33PM UTC

    This response needs to be higher!

    I'm sad to see so many others are going through it as well, or have gone through it in the past, but OP asked for strategy help.

    I'm personally in the middle of my quiet quitting and cannot agree more with this response. I have unintentionally stayed past my breaking point at other jobs because I was doing too much over the minimum. I did that because I told myself I was just doing a little bit more so that no one would realize what I was doing. In the end, they were all blind sided, so that goes to show how little companies and bosses who don't care, actually notice.

    If you experience any hesitation executing the minimum (I personally do because I truly struggle not to care) then take some time and determine your boundaries.

    Maybe your job has a flexible schedule and you keep working late, so you can set a time you really will stop working. Maybe you keep supporting responsibilities that aren't yours, remind yourself of your job description and set that boundary. And if you have any trouble deciding these boundaries, just let your needs and wants (aka you want to be respected and seen, and heard, etc) be your guide. Then with each challenge ask yourself "does this support my needs and wants?"

    When I did that, my need at the time was to lose weight. I lost 25 pounds and practicing my boundaries helped me continue to enforce them.

    My last piece of advice is, if you still struggle to enforce your buddies, then find a hobby or other activity to take up your time outside work. Psychologist say that hobbies are good because when we don't fill up our time with them or other activities work sneaks in and takes over that time instead.

    Good luck!!!

36. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 1:03AM UTC

    I did this in the early 2000s and was eventually laid off in 2003. I had lost my passion for the work and sought something new. But to do that, I had to do a career pivot. The layoff and severance gave me the means to do that. My problem was I was a generalist, and the market was looking for specialists (tech industry). I was tired of corporate America, not being appreciated for all I had done for the company, and just plain tired. I took the severance and 401K, got a Master's degree, and pivoted. I never looked back. It happens. It can work. Sometimes it's pretty, but for me, it was not. I had no solid financial plan and ruined my credit because I couldn't give up things I didn't need. Hang in there. Develop a plan, especially one for what happens if you don't have a job anymore. Consider what you can realistically live without (you might be surprised).

37. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 2:54AM UTC

    Question: Are you tired of the work you’re doing or are you tired of being ignored? Your statement that “you were trying to fix problems” kind of makes it seem that you’re trying to shoulder the burdens for what’s wrong with the company on your own. Of course management won’t listen to you because you’re treading into an area that you simply weren’t asked to go. At least not yet.

38. Kelly HermanOctober 23,2023 at 12:41PM UTC

    I was in a similar situation, and my mentor did a great thing. He made me stop and think about the team. It didn't matter if I was right or wrong in my recommendation. The team picked a direction to go. My job was to support the team even if it was what I believed was the wrong direction. Help the learn quickly, and when we hit the road block (yes that I knew was coming) I was there are ready to help the team learn. I gained far more respect by working with the team than battling against it. It did result in more work for me in this instance, but I gained much more respect from the rest of the team. The more that happens the more you can influence. You will either begin winning the respect of the upper ranks that are watching, or the lower ranks, whichever group feels the results of your efforts and therefore more influence. Yes I have wanted to quit (I'm not usually quiet).

39. Mike RudkoOctober 23,2023 at 12:52PM UTC

    Definitely gtfo!

    Obviously.

40. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 12:59PM UTC

    I can totally relate -- had a caustic work environment for quite awhile due to the $$ and now 2 years later am just still recovering that from that anxiety that someone is going to say something ugly, find fault. . .get out while your personality and self respect are intact!

41. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 1:28PM UTC

    Yes! I was in the same boat and was completely burned out. Find another position while you are still employed. I jumped ship abruptly to save my soul and have struggled to find a position since. It’s a tough market. You are valuable! Go where you will be celebrated. Not tolerated.

42. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 2:46AM UTC

    I did the same ! I quit with no back up. Honestly, it is a struggle and a dif kind of stress but nothing compares to the toxicity that will never change. I am100% glad I quit. The lack of respect was killing me quietly never mind quiet quitting !

43. Gretchen EsslingerOctober 23,2023 at 1:46PM UTC

    Been there - a few times. It's hard when you get to the point where you just do not care anymore. Make sure you are doing just enough to not get fired while you search. Also, do something outside of work to feed your soul - super important. I'm still feeling the effects of a toxic environment, but it's getting better. Sending you good vibes!

44. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 2:02PM UTC

    I've been there. It's so difficult to work at a place where you care more than management. It's a backwards place and most likely toxic if it's like that.

    I worked at a place for over 15 years where the owner and management didn't care about customers or employees. They treated everyone like crap, but they were one of the only places providing their services. We got no real raises and I was expected to do my bosses job for him as well as my lazy coworkers. I thought I could make it better if I just tried harder. Nope, I couldn't.

    My last straw was seeing an email where my boss told the owner he was sick of me not doing my job and speaking up to him. The real truth was I was done doing a managers job without pay, title or basic respect. I was done being set up to fail, gaslighted, and lied about. So I brought the issue up earlier and my boss didn't like it so he chose to lie about me that I wasn't doing My job when I was Anna had been routinely praised by other managers.

    I had a new job within a month and quit as soon as I found out I got the much healthier position at a company that cares about employees and customers.

45. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 2:06PM UTC

    I want to do the quiet quit but I do not want to get in trouble. I am looking for another job. So, if anyone knows of an y good DA jobs that are remote, let me know lol.

46. Lisa SmithOctober 23,2023 at 2:07PM UTC

    I get it and I've had to start seeing a therapist because I cannot find another job paying even half of what I make at my current job. It's so toxic that I have no joy left for anything in my life and the past 2 and a half years I feel fight or flight constantly. Can barely hold down food, lucky of I sleep 2 hours a night, so agitated, emotional , terrified, exhausted and mentally and physically worn out now. Therapist has recommended an ani depressant and my doctor isn't willing to prescribe it!!! I need relief before I commit suicide to get it!!!! I do yoga and workout daily. Tried meditation and many self help books and videos but nothing stops the pressure of my micromanager, demeaning insulting manager and the hostile employees within the company. I cannot keep going on low this. I'm past a breaking point but keep on going because I have no way out.

47. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 8:53AM UTC

    What you are going through is incredibly difficult. Feeling like you are hitting the end of your rope is a very frightening experience. I am a hypnosis and regression therapist. If you’re comfortable, please reach out to me privately and I would be happy to see if I can help for free in trade for using your session as a case study anonymously. Deb@ soulchathypnotherapy .com

48. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 4:10PM UTC

    Please don’t commit suicide over a toxic work environment! You’ll be gone and the job and all the toxic people who are there will continue on with their lives. It’s not worth you taking your own life. You do have a way out. Seek help from the source that many shy away from…God. Take heed to Matthew 6:33 when it says: “Keep on, then, seeking first the Kingdom and his righteousness, and all these other things will be added to you.” Putting the cart before the horse is a tendency we all have. But when you follow what God’s says in the order that He says to do it, everything works out. Please stop carrying that burden with your job. Trust in God. He created us and knows us well. Read his word daily and meditate on it Joshua 1:7-9. You’ll be so happy and no one can take that happiness away from you! Psalm1:1-3. Toxic work environments are everywhere nowadays. So many people are unhappy and looking to make others unhappy. By reading God’s word daily, praying, meditating and sharing what you are reading will not only bring you joy but will bring others joy too. Get to know his name. Romans 10:13 and Psalm 83:18. Your life is so precious and I’m sure all your family and friends think so. So please don’t allow your toxic job to overshadow the kind, loving person that you are. You must be this kind of person because your reaching out for help. Talk to your family and friends and ask them if they can support with encouragement or help a bit financially in the event you decide to leave your job. You may be surprised how they will help you especially after you’ve ask God for help. Psalm 34:8. I wish you all the best! Your job is not worth you taking your life! Be strong and walk away. You’ll find another job!

49. Wanda ShawOctober 25,2023 at 8:52AM UTC

    I don’t think the op wants to commit suicide but I agree that seeking solace in the Lord will help. Very often we’re so quick to seek the approval of humans - to be stoked on the head and told, we’re “doing a good job” that when we don’t receive it, we’re despondent and ready to give up.

50. AnonymousOctober 25,2023 at 10:50AM UTC

    This is so true! Recognition from others is good, but we need to be strong to continue even without it.

51. AnonymousOctober 25,2023 at 3:11PM UTC

    Everyone has their breaking point. I've seen this time and again. The micromanager does not change or gets worse. Spending time and money on therapy for the same work issue for years. Health declines. When you are ready you will know it is time to either be resistant to how they act, or leave. When you are in the situation, it can be hard to see any way out. Even at half the salary, if your health declines so much you can't work.. I hope things improve for you. Also the moderator should take any mention of suicide seriously. 988 is the emergency helpline in the US.

52. G C HesseOctober 23,2023 at 2:41PM UTC

    Quiet Quitting is real and I applaud you for having the guts to see what is going on.

    Just start actively looking for another position, put the word out and find something. Don't bother with that 2 week deal because this company wouldn't for you.

53. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 2:56PM UTC

    I feel you on this so many levels we putting so much effort and time for what. I'm in the same kind of situation it's hard for me not to care but I do and who's taking a toll I am. It's time to move on

54. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 5:04PM UTC

    I'm in a similar position, though my fight is with HR not my boss. After my job duties significantly changed with a new boss, I asked for a job review and gave them comps to my existing position locally in my industry all of which mark my position due for a 13-15% raise. HR came back and offered a modest (4%) raise and a title change. I've said no, and my boss said no and now we're at a stalemate while I am continuing to do things outside my job description. I've already started networking and applying to new positions and have decided that if a resolution isn't reached in a week I will discuss an adjustment to my job duties down to what they were previously so that I am only doing what I'm paid to do. Ridiculousness all around.

55. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 5:10PM UTC

    See if your family doctor can help you with a medical leave based upon what you shared here. It can give you a tiny bridge before you quiet quit and take time for yourself.

56. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 7:20PM UTC

    Oh yes, been there, done that, bought the T-shirt, burned the T-shirt.

    Being a hard worker in this environment is like trying to save an addict that doesn't want help. They won't listen, they won't admit they are wrong, they make you do everything for them and then blame you when something goes wrong. YOU CAN'T FIX IT.

    So, for the sake of your own mental health: Stop caring. I don't mean stop doing your job. I think people mix that up with quiet quitting. I mean don't beat yourself up when you have a bad day at work. You got yelled at? That person's opinion doesn't matter. Nobody gives you credit? Their loss. They will miss you when you're gone. And you WILL be gone - once you find something better. It's a question of when, not if. It might be a very long time, but it will happen.

57. AnonymousOctober 25,2023 at 3:14PM UTC

    Exactly. It is not your family business. It's great you wanted to do your job to the best of your capacity. You will burn out before things change.

58. Helen HensellOctober 23,2023 at 9:17PM UTC

    So sorry you are going through this. It's tough when you work in a negative work culture. :( Sounds like you might need help finding a new opportunity - message me privately and let me help you

59. AnonymousOctober 23,2023 at 11:26PM UTC

    Oh my, it feels like a living nightmare. My dear, always remember that you have the power to save yourself. Don't exhaust your precious time trying to rescue others from a toxic environment. They are unlikely to change, no matter how hard you try. Focus on finding your own salvation and let them be. Your well-being matters the most

60. KellyW43October 24,2023 at 2:44AM UTC

    Definitely continue to look for new opportunities and have a plan for when you quit.

    A person can only do so much before they give up.

61. Heather (she/her)October 24,2023 at 7:55AM UTC

    You absolutely should be putting your wellbeing first, and if that means taking a step back and putting in less soul, that's what you need to do. And don't give up on looking for other opportunities.

62. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 9:12AM UTC

    Prioritize self care and your mental health always. Quietly keep your eye out for other opportunities. They are out there. Good luck.

63. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 12:53PM UTC

    Same boat. I left a job that was killing me ... money was great but my health was definitely suffering. I decided I don't want to make another dime for corporate America, and am now in the process of switching careers. Even though I have no income, I am happier and healthier than I have been in a long time! You've got this - follow your gut!

64. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 1:20PM UTC

    Sometimes you just have to say not my circus not my monkeys. Do your job to the best of your ability and if senior leaders want to ruin it all, then that’s on them. Stay in your lane and watch the show.

65. Wanda ShawOctober 25,2023 at 9:03AM UTC

    you’ve nailed it right there! For sure, focusing on and perfecting what you’ve been tasked with in the moment will keep you sane and on point in the midst of any chaos. Anything extra, should be considered above your pay grade and therefore, not your concern..

66. Gail A GemberlingOctober 24,2023 at 4:23PM UTC

    Yes just stop and do it before you ruin your health. I stuck around my University faculty job so long that once I decided to retire I have spent the first 5 years of my retirement correcting all the health issues that came about as a result of the time I spent trying to fix all the problems there. Not to mention the out of pocket funds from my retirement that I have had to shell out in medical expenses. I am getting back to normal but it will end up taking about 7 years to fix all these health issues. Please do yourself a favor and don't try to change something that isn't worth your while. God Bless You.

67. AnonymousOctober 24,2023 at 4:53PM UTC

    One thing to keep in mind is that you are not defined by your "job". It's a part of the whole, not who we are. Most of us, especially if you are here on this site, want to make a difference and do well at work. It really is hard not to care. However, sometimes that pendulum swings in the wrong direction, and we get hooked into the toxicity of work. There are more important things in life than your "job" - all jobs are just temporary. Hardly anyone works 20 years at a company any more, and even for the ones that do, their biggest regrets in life are not forming better relationships with those around them. I did this at a job once - I stopped giving hoot. In the end, I stayed with the company because I realized that I did my job better not constantly stressing and criticizing. It also meant I was able to leave work at work. A shift in mindset doesn't happen overnight, and it sounds like you should still pursue other opportunities, however in the meantime, while you wait, there is nothing wrong with just going in, doing what is expected and nothing more, and leaving work at work. Focus on you, your health, education, family and friends. Best of luck!

68. Jennifer WuolletOctober 25,2023 at 1:03PM UTC

    I did this, I only worked 40 hours a week at most, I told my boss I was way too busy to take on new responsibilities, and it was great. I was told my promotion that was 3 years overdue was dependent on a successful completion of the project I was on, however I was completely set up to fail so I quiet quit. Eventually, I switched to another department, had talks with HR and upper management, and then got promoted. It worked out really well when I stopped trying. Hopefully it will work out for you.

69. AnonymousOctober 25,2023 at 3:43PM UTC

    Agreed. I hope the OP reads this post.

70. AnonymousOctober 25,2023 at 9:49PM UTC

    While I dislike the connotation that may be inferred from the term “quiet quitting” I chose to call it “me first” in regards to work.

    I’ve learned to say “no” and to acknowledge that it is not a sign of weakness to t advise my VP that my bandwidth is exhausted and I cannot continue to give 120% day after day. He laughs when I tell him that but he is starting to realize what I’m not picking up the department slack any longer.

    Last week we had a community event scheduled and her forgot to tell his wife and she (a nurse) was working when the event was scheduled and they had no childcare . He asked me to cover the event, and I mentioned he needed to find a babysitter because I was not available Point was taken, the look on his face was priceless.

71. Esther WormanOctober 26,2023 at 7:31PM UTC

    Wow! You described my similar experience while working in a detention center. Good for you for taking steps towards personal care and away from the toxicity.

72. AnonymousNovember 1,2023 at 4:06AM UTC

    I am right there with you. I want to say, I don't care, but then the customer suffers. I don't now how to not care about the job, about the quality, about the customer. I feel like my management is asking me to do a half ass job because they won't listen to why the ship is sinking, and I am literally not wired to not give 100%. I don't know what to do at this point.

73. PatriciaNovember 6,2023 at 10:41AM UTC

    Is this company-wide? Or just your manager?

74. AnonymousNovember 26,2023 at 2:02AM UTC

    I am sure it is not company wide, but it seems to be the philosophy of all the the managers in my Senior VP lane.

75. LizNovember 1,2023 at 6:43PM UTC

    I'm thinking about it. I rarely hear anything positive and I'm feeling like, why even bother? I miss my old boss because she showed appreciation. But that college paid so low, that I had to leave. I've been at my job for a year and regardless of the hoops I jump through, my attention to detail, etc. there is NO PLEASING the management here. I only hear negative feedback and over really petty things like using black (vs gray) grid lines on excel spreadsheets (that are internal and only going to one person who couldn't care less about the grid lines), and the # of water bottles we have on hand (and that even being documented by the workplace Karen who I don't even report to and makes my life miserable here). Appreciation has been nearly non existent for the past year and I feel done.

76. PatriciaNovember 6,2023 at 10:41AM UTC

    Time to move on. You deserve better.

77. AnonymousNovember 2,2023 at 11:42PM UTC

    I went out as BIG as I could. Like you, I cut back my work that was underappreciated. However, I then started advocating for change. Too many female engineers leave quietly, so I wanted to be loud and clear. I had a stellar reputation for excellence and integrity so could "afford" to. I wish I had gone out bigger!! I gave that sinking ship my two, four, six, eight cents, straight up to the top. Improvements were made, but not sufficiently. I was very well respected and perceived as loyal (overly tolerant and enabling?), so folks were shocked when I left. I work with the company still and the respect continues although I was blacklisted by a VP -- but he can have his kingdom (without women) to himself. That VP left, a female CEO was hired, the toxic HR Exec was let go... but I am long gone. Good luck to them! ---Do what's right for you given your resources (emotional, financial, spiritual, etc.) --- all ways.