Hello, all.

Anonymous

August 20,2023 at 1:26PM UTC

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Hello, all.

I accepted a job in NC working for a veterinary office as a Receptionist about four months ago. It has been stressful from day one. In my fourth week there, I was told that I wasn't picking up on things quickly enough. After being asked if I wanted to continue working there, I was given (at my suggestion) an hour to study over the notes I had been given, without having to answer the phones or check people in. It must have worked because I was not terminated. (Nor did I get any positive feedback that I had improved.) I will add that the general vibe of the place is very hostile. The techs. are quick to point out any mistakes anyone in reception makes and often are unfriendly when they interact with us.

My stress levels improved, but I still felt like the practice manager was quick to single me out any time I made a mistake. The other two receptionists have been there about five years. One of them makes many of the same mistakes that I do, but I don't see her getting spoken to. There were even two instances where the practice manager claimed I failed to follow a policy, and when I went back to look (because I have been hyper vigilant to not make mistakes), I found that I had followed the proper procedures. Perhaps I should have said nothing, but I did point out to her that I taken the correct actions.

At the end of the day on Friday, the practice manager asked to meet with me and the lead receptionist. She said since we had discussed things verbally, she now had to write me up. She pulled up three "errors" that I had made. The very first one actually blamed me for a customer missing their appointment! Initially, the customer had said that they did not get a confirmation call about the appointment and forgot it. I was not the one making those calls that day. Now, about a week later, I was being told that the customer said that they spoke with me over the phone and did not mention the upcoming appointment to them. I had no recollection of the call or what nature of the call was after this long, so I could not defend myself.

I feel like this practice manager is lining things up to fire me, and I have decided to resign rather than be fired. I have two questions. One- what is an acceptable answer to give when asked why I left. Two- should I report this manager to the Human Resources Department of the company we work under?

I have been following your posts for several years now. I am confident that I will get the sound advice I need for my situation. Any feedback/advice much appreciated!

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AnonymousAugust 20,2023 at 1:53PM UTC
I’m sorry you are experiencing this, If you are resigning I would be honest about your experience. When you started working for them they should have been more welcoming. I would tell future employers that it wasn’t a good fit for you. I would absolutely report the manager to HR. If they have had high turnover it may explain why. I was gaslighted at my former job so I know how difficult that is to go through.
AnonymousAugust 20,2023 at 2:01PM UTC
you are being targeted. I am SO SORRY about this. my gut is telling me it's not you, it's them. you are trying SO HARD and it's not working- some places and people are like this. But...I would wait to be let go. That way, you can claim unemployment...Want to consider this?
AnonymousAugust 20,2023 at 7:24PM UTC
Thank you for the words of support. I honestly believe that they are ramping things up because I am getting close to being there for six months. I think it's their intention to terminate me before I reach the six month mark. So, I wouldn't be likely to be able to collect unemployment, anyway. Knowing this, I would just as soon not give them the satisfaction of terminating me.
AnonymousAugust 21,2023 at 8:48PM UTC
So sad for you..
AnonymousAugust 20,2023 at 2:30PM UTC
The moment that she spoke to you and then gave you time off the phone to study policies and procedures, she was setting up your termination and also providing the necessary steps to prevent you from collecting unemployment. That was called "retraining" and it's a question on the unemployment application. The next thing unemployment will look at is if you were given warnings even after the retraining? You have and they will continue to write you up through termination: Verbal, 1st written, Final Written and then Termination. You will not qualify for unemployment. What you should've been doing is documenting when you've heard that you were being blamed improperly... and then submitting the way it came to your attention (who you overheard discussing it) and providing the support or proof of who actually performed that task that day... get that to HR and a copy to yourself for unemployment purposes (in the event that they are targeting you, they'd still continue but you'd at leasr be armed with the support to collect your unemployment) ultimately if you work in an at-will state they do not have to give you a reason for termination, they can just left you go. But following these long drawn out steps prevent the company from having to pay out months of unemployment benefits.
AnonymousAugust 20,2023 at 7:28PM UTC
I had not thought of it that way, but I can believe it. I am almost hitting my six month mark, so I believe the plan is to terminate me before I get to six months. I have heard that you cannot receive unemployment benefits if you have been employed less than six months.
AnonymousAugust 21,2023 at 6:08PM UTC
I know where I live that if you need to collect they will look at previous position to set your weekly unemployment check. It’s harder to collect if you quit a job.
maria roseAugust 20,2023 at 3:12PM UTC
First, sorry you had to deal with this experience at this vet clinic. The person who appears from your description in charge of the personnel ( the practice manager) is definitely setting you up for termination but don’t be discouraged because this sounds like a very stressful workplace environment. ( in fact it sounds like the vet practice has been incorporated into new ownership by a corporation instead of being a private practice) A lot of vet services are doing that with the rise of pet owners using pet insurance versus just paying for the services, therefore the service costs reimbursement depends on “correct wording” of the treatment. Plus pet owners require a certain kind of customer service attention which creates a negative impact on the workers at the veterinary with their expectation of being instantly served. As you were/ are the low person in this workplace as the newest member, it was quite easy to blame you for details that all are probably responsible for—like phone calls or whatever method is used to as reminders about appointments. In any case you will be better off leaving this workplace. Check out the labor laws in your area for how to file and apply for unemployment benefits, just in case you don’t have a new job lined up. Most likely you’ll get benefits even if this workplace tries to deny the claim. They probably do so because they don’t want to carry/pay for the unemployment insurance required for all workplace regardless. Which is their problem not yours. Get yourself out of this situation and move on.
AnonymousAugust 20,2023 at 7:40PM UTC
Thank you. You are spot on with your assessment of the practice being owned by a larger corporation. After being written up (for the first time in my working career), I fully intend to wash my hands of them and move on. I think fighting to stay is only going to add to my stress level and take away time that I could spend looking for other opportunities. I am fortunate that I have some money saved and I can take a little time off without any major financial issues.
Do you have any suggestions as to what I should tell prospective employers about why I resigned without another job lined up? I know it's always best to put a positive spin on things, but I can't think of any way to make this sound positive.
AnonymousAugust 21,2023 at 12:17PM UTC
I would focus on You rather than them. "I'm looking for new opportunities to expand my skills and contributions to a team and organization" something along those lines. If they press, "it just wasn't a good fit for where I see my future going" then loop it back to you, your skills and how you feel you can contribute and grow in the new organization.
AnonymousAugust 22,2023 at 12:45PM UTC
^ perfect. Mature, positive, professional, self-caring and growth oriented.
maria roseAugust 22,2023 at 8:14PM UTC
Just state simply that the job was not a good fit for you for that specific time period. No need to go into details since it is only a short time employed there . If you are going to stay in the veterinary office type work, be prepared to ask them more detailed questions about all duties the receptionist job entails. The smaller the office the more job duties required ( you would be wearing a many hats position) and with the smaller vet office being incorporated under a larger group there is a chance of finding a similar situation. Know your strengths and your limitations and hopefully you’ll find a better workplace for your skill set.
AnonymousAugust 20,2023 at 7:32PM UTC
Thank you for those suggestions. I will definitely keep them in mind as I work through this situation.
AnonymousAugust 21,2023 at 12:47PM UTC
So sorry to hear this. Yes, it sounds like you are being set up for termination - never ideal, but probably best given what sounds like a terrible work environment for you. Moving on is best because nothing you do will ever be right. When the only feedback you get is negative and your work is scrutinized more than others, it's time to move on. And any of the generic explanations for leaving in other comments here will do just fine ("I've decided to explore other opportunities," etc.). Start looking for another job asap - it's better to resign when you have something else lined up - less stress and financial pressure when you leave, and having a job makes you a more attractive candidate when you're looking. It also might help to reflect on the type of work environments that work best for you - smaller workplaces can be harder to fit into, with cliques or long-timers who successfully rid themselves of anyone they don't like.
AnonymousAugust 21,2023 at 2:05PM UTC
Reporting to HR - NO!!!!!!
Being let go in this case would be dodging a bullet. Don't worry about a "why" for future job applications. Find something about the job experience that will help you frame your desire to work in the next place logical.
Sorry to hear this, but a receptionist job is not a CEO job, and employers sometimes act like they can have a revolving door and not suffer any consequences because the market is so tight. Just move on and hope that your next place isn't as toxic!
AnonymousAugust 21,2023 at 2:33PM UTC
Definitely do not contact Human Resources, they support the company not the employees. I had the exact same thing happen to me, but it sounds like your manager is actually following the proper steps. My manager did not (I put it down to ignorance, since they were new in the position). I'm currently looking for work myself, and I think that I have at least one "angel" who wants to hire me so things are looking up. Document what is going on with your current position and a good response to "why you left" should come out of that. I do actually say that my workplace was toxic, and I have given a few general examples to flesh that out. Even in a bad job market, you should not have to put up with a job that is treating you badly. If you walk out, they are the ones who will suffer since the other receptionists will have to pick up the slack and the workplace will have to spend time and energy to find a new employee. Hopefully you have saved up for a few months, and if that doesn't work, sign up for a temp agency and that should speed up your job hunt. Good Luck to you!
asmith13August 21,2023 at 8:30PM UTC
Someone always says this about human resources. I and any decent HR person I know supports the employees while also protecting the company from litigation. And, you know--doing the right thing. Lumping us all into this category of not supporting the employees is BS.
AnonymousAugust 22,2023 at 12:43PM UTC
I would not say in interviews for new roles that a previous role was a toxic environment. Best to find more positive ways to reframe it. In fact, when asked, you don't say, "at my old job, it was...", instead simply state what you are looking for - something like that I am looking for a role in an environment where I can be part of a cohesive team, use and share my existing skills and experience, with opportunities to grow and continue to learn.
It comes across more maturely than trash talking previous place of employment, which could make you look rigid and difficult to work with, instead of flexible and adaptable.
AnonymousAugust 21,2023 at 6:06PM UTC
Take the feedback you are receiving and compartmentalize it since you are new. Let your manager know that you appreciate the feedback and want to do your best. Let them know how you take feedback and that if there are things that need improvement you are happy to know about them. Then just stay the course. The ones that are tenured are irrelevant to your situation and as the new kid on the block you are at risk and they just may not be. Don't compare yourself to them because you may be ultimately replacing them and just not know about it. don't give up so easily, learn how to manage your manager. Ask them what you can do for them, that might shift the entire relationship to a different path. Tell them how you learn new things and if there are time constraints and they are not reasonable let them know that. Don't quit just because you think it got a bit tough. It might make you stronger in areas you never thought about by sticking it out a bit.
Rebecca MillikenAugust 22,2023 at 12:22AM UTC
It's not you, it's them. I do not agree with anyone who says to ride it out. Why? It's clear to me they are trying to fire you and trying to make it look like it's with cause so they can avoid paying unemployment. It sounds like a crappy workplace and there have got to be other jobs in your area that would pay the same or better.
As someone else pointed out, it's not a high ranking job--no shade here, I worked as as receptionist/assistant for years in my 20s. But my point is leaving this job does not mean you are hurting your trajectory at all.
Believe me, working in that kind of atmosphere is harmful to you and not worth it.
As for what to say to a potential employer, I would say that you are looking for a new opportunity where you have more room to grow. I would not say anything bad about that place, regardless of how horrible it is. It just reflects poorly on you.
Take care of YOU. Good luck.
Stephanie OakleyAugust 22,2023 at 1:08PM UTC
I think your assessment sounds accurate that they’re going to let you go. I would definitely leave before that happens and just indicate that their culture was not a good fit. It’s only been a month and I don’t think a future employer would question your motives for leaving beyond that. I wouldn’t even mention it on a resume.
Muhammad Ammad ul Fahad IqbalAugust 22,2023 at 1:11PM UTC
I think that you have to wait for some more time,if she gets gentle with you,it is all set. But if not, you should resign
AnonymousAugust 22,2023 at 2:19PM UTC
This is my two cents. Reporting to HR is normally not that helpful to an employee as HR interests are usually those in power.
if you wanted to give a reason, mention you could not negotiate hours, and you had a family issue at the time.
If you ever get bullied again, take copious notes. Note everything. And always be kind too. I know it is hard but kindness puts you on defensive and thus makes it harder for the perpetrators to bully.
Erica MitchellAugust 22,2023 at 4:23PM UTC
When asked why you left, you could state that it wasn't a good fit and then state why the new job would be a great fit for you. As for reporting the manager, I personally wouldn't. You are leaving so it won't affect you anymore. Good luck with everything!
AnonymousAugust 22,2023 at 4:30PM UTC
I agree with everyone saying you should resign before they terminate your employment. I would definitely start looking for a new job ASAP that way you won't be without. I almost feel like they haven't given you proper training. All schedule program's are different. I feel they should be working with you and explaining how to make things easier for you. If you are uncomfortable definitely find another job that is a good fit for you. No sense in stressing. You need to do what is best for you. Always take care of number one! That's you. I hope you find something that you enjoy and fit in.
AnonymousAugust 22,2023 at 8:54PM UTC
I could have written this about a position I had in 2021. I was hired for the position with 28 years at the time of mental health work experience and also a licensed clinician with a good reputation. The clinic manager I think must not have wanted to hire me. Our interactions were very odd and I they criticized the most ridiculous picky things like "leaving your desk to greet a client in the parking lot." This was when COVID protocol was that clients had to sit in the parking lot until their appointment was ready; the client had been forgotten by the front desk! He called my phone to see if I could help him. When my 90 day review came it was very negative almost in a bizarre way as if they were talking about someone else. They rated me low for instance on "getting along with the coworkers." I literally had no idea what that was about. I asked for specific examples and got "I'll get back to you." No one did. During this period of time they got rid of another person, even advertising her position while she was working a "notice" because they wanted to make it look like she resigned. This person went around telling everyone the truth anyway, what did she have to lose. So I figured I was next and put in a resignation. I was scared because I had no new job when I did it, but I had another job interview scheduled at least. I ended up getting a much better position. When asked why I wanted to leave the job I put the emphasis on the new job I was interviewing for "This just sounds so much like what I see myself doing and a good way to use my experience!" Which was true, but it helped me avoid trashing the company I was leaving. Seriously though when I look back on it there was no way I could have adjusted or fit in at that place. I felt like I was stepping on a landmine just by speaking to someone, sending an e-mail, or otherwise doing my job using my own judgment. The thing that really killed me was I enjoyed the clients, and they gave me very positive comments on a survey about the program. Please get out of that place and hold your head up at the next job, which might very well be completely different!
Archana AgarwalAugust 23,2023 at 6:00AM UTC
It makes no sense to work in a stressful atmosphere and if you feel they are going to terminate you it is better to quit yourself. But you should definitely give your feedback to the HR after quitting. In your next job interview it is better not to bad mouth your previous organization so you could talk about the positives of the new assignment. But find a convincing reason .... all the best!
AnonymousAugust 23,2023 at 6:08AM UTC
All of you have expressed my current situation in some way. The culture of my last employment situation resembles a free for all. Management preys on their subordinates, The workers seem to have no sense of personal space awareness nor do they respect the boundaries of others.. most everyone is looking for love, friendship, or situations-ships instead of coming to the job to build professional connections as the work gets done.
Fast forward to this past July… after filing a formal harassment complaint, with notes and text messages, against my female supervisor; then a complaint against a male maintenance person.. the supervisor was promoted and her efforts to retaliate stem from conspiring with others to try to devise written complaints against me. I’ve been pulled into confrontational meetings to “discuss” My behavior when all I do is go to work, do my job and go home. I don’t socialize but I do assist my teammates with their work because I have the knowledge that none is them have, including all of our supervisors. When they fail to entrap me with their lies and I don’t lose my cool and give them a reason to walk me out, they tried to make one of our new supervisors conspire against me, but he resigned instead. I haven’t even spoke on the fact that I have applied for the supervisor position vacated by the female supervisor over six times and upper management lied and acted as if I needed them to teach me better interview skills, but never promoted me.
So I’m Fully Maintenance was called to my work area by the time they were finished, I had been thoroughly irritated by the guy whom I previously made the complaint against. So much so I went to his Team leader to let him know. The next day the new supervisor came to me to say that that he was putting me on notice for my language. He was speaking forcefully as if he and I had been in a confrontation. This man and I had never had a conversation in his 2 weeks back at the job so there’s no way he could know that I don’t (and never have) use profanity or discriminatory language, but he still wrote me up. A full week later I was called to HR with my labor rep and dismissed for using discriminatory language. If I told you the words they claim I said, you would would have the laugh of the week.
I feel violated and disrespected and I knew I should’ve left there a year ago but I was pursuing my degree and didn’t have another position lined up. I still contemplate how to explain this dismissal when I interview for my next position. You all have helped too with this discussion.
I speak the blessings of Abraham over your lives.
DeBorah WalkerAugust 23,2023 at 9:05AM UTC
Thank goodness you have decided to resign. That is a high impact stressful position; and there's too many areas you have to be concerned about. And keep it simple when they ask you why you want to resign tell them that "after working n the position you've decided it's not for you"...You don't have to go into any comparisons about the other receptionists, or you didn't do this, or someone said you did that (k i s) keep it simple it's not for you.
AnonymousAugust 23,2023 at 4:15PM UTC
You did the right thing by resigning. I work in the vet industry. It's a special and different kind of stressful. Many of these hospitals are understaffed, cliquey and difficult to integrate into.
My experience has been people wanting "their people" for these positions. At one hospital, an old employee came back after some time away, and the corporation that owned it told them the last in (me) had to go. At my previous hospital, long story short, the employees were let go, were hired back and were wary of new people. I was let go at exactly 90 days, with them ramping up just before it (I was stuck with mostly laundry duty). They were trying to get me to quit. Just two weeks in, a woman hinted that maybe the job wasn't for me. I should have taken that hint in hindsight.
A lot of people advise getting let go to collect unemployment, but I don't think that's wise. Employers are big on documenting every little error if they want to push someone out, because they don't want to pay unemployment for anyone.
You did yourself a favor by not playing their game and stressing yourself out more. You're free to find a much better job.
AnonymousAugust 23,2023 at 10:15PM UTC
Original poster, here. Thank you so much for that feedback. Your first couple of sentences describes my (former) workplace to a 'T'.
As an update, I prepared a resignation letter for Monday. I planned on giving it at the end of the day. While we were getting things ready to open the clinic, a customer just walked through our front door. I looked at my co-worker to say, "How did they get in before we opened the door?" She informed me that one of the kennel people who was the first to arrive, said that it was open when she came in.
As paranoid as it sounds, I can't shake the feeling that the manager may have opened it herself on Sunday. I worked Saturday and when we lock up, we are very careful to "test" the door before we leave. I felt like I was being set up, so I just pulled off the bandaid and turned my resignation in as soon as she came in, instead of waiting. I worked through most of the day when she came out and told me that she had spoken to the lead vet, and they decided I didn't need to finish out my two week's notice. I thanked her and happily left there for good.
I don't have another job lined up, but mine is not the only income, so I'm okay. That being said, I do feel that I can focus now on finding something else without having so much additional stress.
I have never in my life been written up before, so I know this was not really about my performance. I've decided just to shake it off and not have any more contact with the company at all. I think at this point, if I did go to HR, I would just look like a disgruntled employee, so what would be the point? I'm just going to move forward and let karma take care of the situation. Thanks so much for the encouragement. :)
AnonymousAugust 24,2023 at 6:05PM UTC
You absolutely did the right thing. I wouldn't be surprised at all if the manager set you up. I've seen a lot of weird stuff like that in animal hospitals. Just let it go like you're doing, move on and let karma work it's magic on her.
Farah BajwaAugust 23,2023 at 5:48PM UTC
I think you put yourself first and did what was best for you; that's not easy for most of us to do so kudos to you!
You can always say the environment wasn't a good fit. As for reporting the manager - that's entirely up to you. Since you chose to leave, you have nothing to lose but be mindful of not burning bridges if you ever choose to return to that company. It'll have to be phrased in a way that expresses concern for future direct reports to this manager.
AnonymousAugust 23,2023 at 5:59PM UTC
I read about three quarters of your letter....and my advice is to ask yourself......self, is it worth it?? This place sounds very toxic and unhealthy! Please focus on finding employment elsewhere. Sure you can report the incident to HR, which may lead to retaliation from the Manager. Who needs this aggravation? You certainly don't. The end decision is yours.