I want to help; however, your question is a bit unclear. If you're looking for a sounding board, I may be able to help.
No one should work the hours you've been putting in. Your work ethic is commendable; however, they will come to expect you to work that many hours even when unneeded - AND - let's not forget about work-life balance. You don't want to end up burnt out either.
You're right that our work should speak for itself. Unfortunately, it doesn't. That's why so many women post on here about Imposter Syndrome. When we're constantly questioned, we often begin questioning ourselves.
To make matters worse, most managers are unqualified to manage people. Thus, a myriad of issues arise quite often and are rarely handled well. Then, we ask HR for help or tell a "trusted friend" at work because we need someone to speak with, but it doesn't stop there. Confidence is rarely treated that way.
I also feel that if a salaried employee completes their work in less than forty hours, there's no reason to keep them unless they're required to be at their desk for some reason. Part of that would mean we would no longer be micromanaged by design since we're physically not there. Think of how much productivity and morale would increase!
I used to work rigorous hours like you and it was always in a male dominated industry. It never ended well due to the expectations male BOD members set upon me. Based off of those experiences, I would advise you to have regular performance appraisals to start a dialog between you and your manager about communicating and managing their expectations, so they're reasonable and attainable. While you should have a set timeline of formal performance appraisals, the other meetings should be less formal, follow the same metrics, but I ditched the form. It makes things too rigid and formal. These meetings are more of a conversation with talking points.
Always under promise and over deliver on deadlines. If you think the next widget deadline is too close and will take the full two months with all of your attention, then tell them it will take three or four months (pick a realistic amount of time).
Lastly, you should also be documenting and communicating what you've completed, are working on, identifying high priority action items, etc. The first thing that you should do EVERY Monday morning is send a status report to your manager with that information. Then, they can't ever claim they didn't know what you were working on and IF there was a misunderstanding it will be caught. They should tell you about it immediately which removes the responsibility from your shoulders.
I hope you find this helpful. Best of luck!
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