I've come to the decision that I need to resign from my role after 4.5 years.

Anonymous

August 20,2023 at 5:51PM UTC

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I've come to the decision that I need to resign from my role after 4.5 years. I've received a paltry raise and no extra benefits or extra vacation days. I'm subjugated by a toxic manager and toxic environment. I've been going through IVF in the last few months, and while my manager has been understanding in letting me have the days off I need for procedures, she is against remote work and is now denying my request for a vacation - even if it's unpaid. I'm at a dead end at this job, burned out and just feel done. It's too bad as I am great at what I do and integral member of the team, but long term this job won't be good for a pregnancy or raising a child - especially given the low pay. The next 5-6 months are critical in my journey to parenthood and I can't jeopardize that. I thought to possibly discuss medical leave, but honestly what I need is a sabbatical. They'll never go for that - I think resignation is my best move. (from a financial standpoint, I'm ok to take a much needed break) So my question is: is 2 weeks notice sufficient or should I give them a month notice to complete a project I'm working on? Project end date is September 29, however, I do also have an egg retrieval around Sept 19, so timing all of this is tricky. And once I announce my intended departure, things might get akward. Not sure what to do!

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AnonymousAugust 20,2023 at 7:39PM UTC
I would discuss fmla with my doctor and then you can offer your resignation after your leave.
AnonymousAugust 21,2023 at 1:21PM UTC
Two weeks, not a second more - if you leave. I would look into fmla, however. Talk with your doc, take the time you need, and look for another position.
AnonymousAugust 21,2023 at 3:07PM UTC
Two weeks at most - or just make sure you’re gone before Sep 19. That’s an important day for you and you don’t need this added stress hanging over your head any more. I’ve learned the hard way— always put yourself first when it comes to toxic work environments. Best of luck to you with the IVF and job situation.
AnonymousAugust 21,2023 at 6:01PM UTC
Stay the course. Your IVF journey is likely far more important than the job is. Most companies won't give you more benefits or vacation when giving increases so not sure where you are going with that. Especially larger and more established ones. It sounds like you are focused on your baby journey. When the timing is right after your next retrieval give them 2 weeks notice. Leave professionally, and if you have no new role just let them know you are taking some time off to focus on your life and job search, don't say anything more. Good luck.
Rebecca MillikenAugust 22,2023 at 12:26AM UTC
Leave before Sept. 19. All that matters is you and your potential baby. Screw the crappy job. Think about this: if they wanted to get rid of you, they wouldn't think about you or the timing. They'd find someone to take over the project. If they wanted you to leave, you'd be out right away. Giving them two weeks notice is enough. Giving them four weeks so you'd leave before your procedure is fine too.
I wish you the best with your IVF.
AnonymousAugust 25,2023 at 12:50PM UTC
2 weeks is fine unless you're under an employment contract that requires you to give more than 2 weeks.
Kia HarrisAugust 25,2023 at 1:48PM UTC
Focus on your procedures and insurance need to determine your next move! When resigning focus on you cause the company will definitely focus on them
Cindy GrossAugust 25,2023 at 3:54PM UTC
2 weeks notice and lay out the terms of your rate for any advice they need from you on the project you're working on. Your rate should be at least 2-3 times what they are paying you now, with strict "every call is billed for a minimum of 1 hour" (or some similar amount) so they don't call with a bunch of 5 minute questions that interrupt your day. It takes at least 15-30 minutes to return to your task after interrupted - bill them for that interruption. Set strict availability - whatever works. Limited hours, no surprise calls with an appointment at least 24 hours in advance, etc.
Rosa GoesAugust 25,2023 at 5:00PM UTC
Go on medical leave. It will give you time to think about your next move.
AnonymousAugust 25,2023 at 6:38PM UTC
I need intermittant time off in the next 6 months, including extended travel. I don't think medical leave would really work for my case.
AnonymousAugust 25,2023 at 6:42PM UTC
I'm growing in my role and enjoy the work to some degree, but my wages, benefits and title are stagnant and the environment is unhealthy in general and for my parenthood goals. Financially I'm ok to take a break. the next 6 months are critical for me and for them, which is why I'm leaving now so they can get themselves together and I can do what I need to do for my health.
AnonymousAugust 27,2023 at 8:28PM UTC
Your health comes first. Choose your health and wellness.