Looking for a little advice!

Anonymous

October 18,2021 at 2:21PM UTC

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Looking for a little advice! Much like many of you, I’m simply burnt out at my current job due to a multitude of things. Luckily, my company is handling the pandemic very well, implementing permanent flexible schedules, which does help a ton.

After am exhaustive year of looking, I have been offered another role (with a higher title but only slightly more pay) at another company that is truly my dream job and they’re letting me do a day in office 2 times a month. However, it’s 4hrs away…so those days when I have to go in will require a long commute and overnight stay (and no, moving is not an option). I additionally have a toddler at home, but am lucky to have a wonderful partner who is an incredibly capable and willing parent.

So - would love some thoughts, especially from other career driven moms! Those that travel frequently - do you regret it? Do I take the dream job that requires me to be away from my family 2-4 days a month? Or do I stay at my current role that I can’t stand but is close to home, and wait/hope for something closer to come along? Any advice is much appreciated!

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AnonymousOctober 18,2021 at 4:23PM UTC
It depends on how career driven you are. Many many dream jobs exist but there is often a tradeoff. Travel is this particular "Dream Job's" tradeoff.
I would question whether the small bump in salary would cover your travel or will the company cover those expenses?
Also, have you made triple sure that this job offers you your dream responsibilities, authority and growth? Many times we project our dreams onto a role and it is actually not at all our "Dream ".
Finally, if your family can take your absence in stride and can accommodate the stress then you are looking at a viable offer.
KatOctober 18,2021 at 4:27PM UTC
You seem to be in an ideal situation to accept the new job. You've got a supportive, willing partner to help with your child and can afford to travel and do an overnight stay one day a week. I say go for it. You need a change, and this job provides that. It could lead to finding another job with a similar title closer to home in the future, so why not? I've known people that work in other states and stay overnight 1-2x a week and their families turn out fine. It will be good for you and your family to not be stressed out all the time.
AnonymousOctober 18,2021 at 4:33PM UTC
First of all, congrats on getting the job! This is a tough situation for sure. Since they are offering only slightly higher pay, perhaps you can negotiate to be fully remote or come in once or twice every few months? If they’re not able to provide at least a 15-20% raise, I feel like it wouldn’t be out of line to negotiate other benefits, especially now that many companies are adopting a fully remote model for some or all employees. I would hope they would be understanding with your family situation as well.
Lesa Edwards, Career Coach & Master Resume WriterOctober 18,2021 at 5:50PM UTC
I agree with the 15%-20% salary increase expectation...this is what I coach my clients to look for as a minimum.
Tomilyn RichardsOctober 18,2021 at 5:50PM UTC
I think the 2-4 days is a small price to pay for you to love the job and really be more present for your family on the other days. Do what you love... work should NOT be miserable!! =)
AnonymousOctober 18,2021 at 6:40PM UTC
One thing to be aware of is that the goalposts may move; while the plan is for 2 days in the office per month now, your employer may change that at some point and then you'll have to decide if you can handle that. Good luck to you.
AnonymousOctober 18,2021 at 7:04PM UTC
Thank you everyone, this is so helpful! Great to have this community to bounce things off of. Will push back on the pay. But thinking my mental well-being will be far more positive if I get out of my current company, even if that means a few days away every month.
MandaTaylorOctober 18,2021 at 7:09PM UTC
Honestly, if you have the support. 2-4 days a month could also be your "extra me time" when you are staying at a hotel.
Jennifer ElliottOctober 19,2021 at 12:16PM UTC
It sounds like you have a supportive partner which is a huge plus, which makes traveling a possibility. I didn't travel when my kids were little because I wanted to be close to them. Also I didn't have a partner I could count on, so that definitely influenced my decision. Just ask yourself if it's something that you really want. Create a pros and cons list. I don't think you should stay in a role you hate, but before jumping ship, make sure this role is something that you truly want. Good luck ☺️