I think I just decided I don't want to stay at my new job.

Anonymous

March 6,2024 at 6:51PM UTC

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I think I just decided I don't want to stay at my new job.

I've been in my new position, a newly created role, for about six months. There's a fair amount to like--the people are pleasant; the pay is decent, the work is interesting, and it's a pretty low-stress.

However, I still don't feel like I'm part of the team and spend a lot of my time working individually on projects. When I interact with the people in my department, the interactions veer between feeling like I'm being pumped for information by someone who is trying to low-key manage me when she isn't my supervisor (likes to stop by my office under the guise of chatting, and then asks vague, open-ended questions about how things are going while surveying whatever information or documents happen to be out and on my desk when she stops by--we've had very little occasion to work together at this point, but she was part of the hiring committee) OR, I make suggestions based on my area of expertise. Most people more or less dismiss my suggestions. Someone else in my department can't ever seem to be able to respond to an email or note sent via the office messenger but is known to call me out of the blue to ask for help at the last minute.

I was let go from my previous job in August 2022 and then spent the rest of that year and a large chunk of 2023 seeking out this position, so I'm not exactly eager to get back on the job market. However, for a place where everyone swears that they're like a family (I know, ick), I just don't feel very welcomed.

This is, of course, to say nothing of the consultant who is trying to extend her contract by pitching herself as a coach for me, although she wasn't able to express what exactly she thought my grown areas are--even though according to my boss, nobody asked her to evaluate me in any capacity.

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AnonymousMarch 6,2024 at 7:56PM UTC
I think there’s a lot of information missing here. The person who “low key manages” you. And your supervisor already mentioned the person who is a contractor. This tells me your boss knows about the “coach”, do they know about the noisy colleague too? Remember, there is no perfect work environment. Do you have 1:1 meetings with your boss on a regular basis? If not, suggest it so that you can mention how you’re still learning everyone’s work styles but would love to hear how everyone is expected to communicate. Is it via email or is it via an internal messaging system? How are meetings managed? Have you asked if the team goes to lunch together or a happy hour? This can really help understanding your colleagues outside of the work environment. If you’re not too miserable hang in there for at least a year before you seek another role. Easier to find work when you’re employed but a red flag if you leave under a year. Hang in there at least 6 more months but do update your resume and add it to LinkedIn. This keeps you relevant to recruiters as well. Good luck!
AnonymousMarch 6,2024 at 9:46PM UTC
The person who tries to low-key manage me is a person of the same title level, and we both report to the same person. There isn't much to say other than once in a while, she stops by my office and starts asking questions about what I'm working on, not that she's working on these things with me. The one time I tried to include her in a project, at our bosses' suggestion, she made a point of saying to the person that we were meeting with that she had no idea why she had been included and that she was never going to be involved in the project.
I have very pleasant 1:1 meetings with my boss weekly, where all of his feedback about the work that I'm doing is supportive and helpful--lots of him saying that he loves what I'm doing, and then pointers about who in the org could be helpful when needed.
Regarding the contractor, when the coaching came up, his first reaction was, ''What is she trying to get another payday?" He went on to say that he was very confused about why this person had pitched themselves to me in such a fashion. My boss even made a point to ask about it when he met with the consultant separately, and from what he said, there was no specific feedback on what had made her suggest such a thing. She was just trying to extend her contract.
Overall, from what I can tell, it seems that we're all expected to communicate using email, the messenger app, and cell phones as an absolute last resort. From what I've observed, one or two people may go to lunch together, but whole team meals seem to be served for company events like the all-staff meetings, or holiday celebrations.
Does this help? I'd be happy to share whatever information you feel is lacking from my description.
JJMarch 6,2024 at 9:32PM UTC
It all sounds mildly unpleasant, at worst. Having read the 911 issues of women here and on my other social sites, I am happy to report that this sounds like a normal office. As workplaces get more toxic and jobs harder to find, the grass will not be greener.
AnonymousMarch 6,2024 at 9:47PM UTC
I can agree with you on the grass thing. It is MUCH less toxic than where I worked previously, I guess I'm just frustrated.
AnonymousMarch 6,2024 at 9:39PM UTC
Have you at least had a meeting with your real manager (not the person who is angling for the job)?
It's worth being very explicit in both a,1:1 and in writing to document these disjointed issues and uour overall experience for 6 months.
At this point, you have nothing to lose if you made the decision to leave.