There's a scenario that I've been encountering at work since I've gotten a new manager approximately 1 year ago.

Anonymous

December 18,2023 at 4:41PM UTC

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There's a scenario that I've been encountering at work since I've gotten a new manager approximately 1 year ago. It's a colleague that got promoted. Generally speaking working with her is ok, no 'major' issues. However, since she has become my manager, she has communicated that she feels I 'over-explain' things to the team and she has limited time. Prior supervisor who hired me didn't know what a project manager truly did and always wanted me to explain things out to the team because they never had a PM before. She thought it would help with buy-in. Switch back to my new supervisor and she shared what I stated above. Ok, didn't ppl, different approaches, cool. Well, what's been happening is that while I did take the advice, it can take some time to completely change the approach especially when you tend to get interrupted in meetings with a lot of questions. So when I go to answering them, it can get off topic, which I understand the concern, but I'm not really appreciating the cut-off or rude interruptions during meetings by my new supervisor. It throws me off during presentations. Additionally, there have been times in meetings, that I didn't call, nor am leading where my supervisor will impromptu ask me to share/explain something with the team (without a lot of direction) that I wasn't prepared for and/or it was a surprise and once I attempt to do that, she also cuts me off and says something to the extent of she doesn't have a lot of time. I feel this is unfair in those scenarios. Finally, I'm also finding her and the team to be attempting to wordsmith my natural language due to their preference in choice of words. For example, I can say, "I left the coffee creamer on the table, because I know you all like creamer." I'll get challenged as to why I didn't say " I left the coffee creamer on the table, because I know WE like creamer." While as a PM I understand the need to be a team player, I 'm really thinking they have PTSD because prior to me working their there was a PMO, that got dismantled due to some people in the organization not wanting to work with them. Based on the concerns I heard they had, they had issue with the PMs doing their jobs...aka standard project management. Looking for some insight on how to handle these types of issues.

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AnonymousDecember 18,2023 at 5:30PM UTC
Over explaining things is a problem especially in dynamic workplaces where the goal is go go go.
Edit yourself and if you need to write ahead of time the things for presentations that you need to say. Keep it in a time increment that will leave time for others and not be thought of as condescending (overexplaining can be thought of as this to others) thinking your audience is dumb. As for how you word things that for sure you are correct if people are correcting how you speak ask them to not do that. Let them know that you are speaking from a good place being genuine and the constant overcorrection is demeaning to you. Don't accept it as reasonable behavior. Do though that those challenges as a way to realize how you are perceived by others because your words, actions and career advancement may be alternately affected if you don't. Criticism is hard to take but if used constructively its the most powerful career builder you can get for free.
JJDecember 19,2023 at 11:25PM UTC
Talk less.
Believe I know how hard that is! I talk a lot. And if you are not prepared to explain something say that and then sit in the uncomfortable silence. Next time she will either prep you or stop calling on you.
And stop leaving creamer out for your crappy co-workers. They sound like jerks. And stop explaining yourself.
AnonymousDecember 20,2023 at 1:35PM UTC
I over explain everything which is not good in a work place because people lose interest, they shouldn't but they do. I would try to shorten things up, if they have questions or don't understand - ask everyone prior to letting them leave the meeting.
Tell your boss that you don't appreciate being asked a certain project you are not prepared to discuss as you like to have all the answers.
Regarding the creamer, put it away. There is not really a reason to leave it out, if someone wants it, they can find it.
When someone corrects your language they are doing 1 of 2 things. 1. Trying to help you advance into a higher roll with how you come across. Saying "you all, and yall" is not really a professional way to say something. Sorry to burst the bubble. 2. They are being condenseding in which case pretend like it is actually the 1. Because it will help you in the long run and they will eventually stop because you are not giving them the satisfaction. Simply say "thank you, I will try to change my language, I appreciate it" and smile
Sorry for the long answers but Hope this helps!
Lynn Slater MillerDecember 20,2023 at 2:00PM UTC
More information is better than more mistakes.
AnonymousDecember 20,2023 at 2:11PM UTC
If you know the meeting agenda ahead of time, maybe write out a more concise, bullet point type of document that you can always make copies of hand hand out. Keep the language simple and use technical terms when necessary. When asked impromptu questions, maybe state the explanation is a bit involved and if time must be considered, you can have a post-meeting chat with the team if they’re interested in hanging back for 5 minutes. This allows your manager to feel her time is respected and those who need answers to get the 5 minutes they need from you to explain. It’s a change in management styles and behaviors, and sometimes you have to do a little outsmarting. If time is your enemy according to your manager, let her keep her time and you can hold a post-meeting q&a. Just be sure to write down her questions and stick to concise answers, if/when possible. Try not to let the post-meeting chat be longer than 10 minutes. After 10 minutes, tell the team to feel free to come to you or you can come to their desks/area. I hope this helps.
BethBDecember 20,2023 at 3:03PM UTC
It’s hard to hear criticism and especially by someone who used to be on our same level. It can be hard to break old habits that were encouraged by a previous supervisor and takes active thought. It’s also not a one and done, it is a work in progress.
We’ve all worked with people who think they are being clearer by over explaining or repeating themselves. There is a phrase I heard that I always keep in mind. Bird’s eye view, no one needs to know how the watch works, they need to know what it does. Two or three top level
bullet points.
As far as correcting your phrasing, it’s rude to do that in front of others. And you didn’t leave the creamer out because “we” like it. You already used it and were trying to be thoughtful because others in the group like it. Although you all is not the correct language. You are within your rights to speak to your supervisor in private and say something like comments on how I phrase something in front of others are embarassing to me and to those who are present. I’m open to your suggestions and would appreciate it if you would give me any corrections privately.
Sue RoseDecember 21,2023 at 5:30PM UTC
i think criticism of how people speak is unkind and unhelpful unless it’s coming from your professor in law school or you’re an English Butler. I’m careful to critique others on my team unless it’s a productivity issue. How to do a job more efficiently and time hacks are important. Bulleted lists and agendas are key to saving time. To avoid the off subject rabbit hole and pre-emptive questions of an impatient person, or a person who is thinking too fast, I tend to pre-think the presentation imaging all the questions that may come up and answer them within the presentation. If a non pertaining question comes up I direct it to the end of the presentation. As in “good question, I’ll get to that in a second.” This is a question of power and control. Take your power during the presentation, be directive- and on time while thinking ahead, be on point, and give it back at the end for questions. Hope this helps.